A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jill13bean Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:04 PM

A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well.... i was thinking and my FH and i are talking about who brings dates etc.... and his friends always have a girl but not a serious girlfriend (most of them anyway). Since i don't want trash and no shows at my wedding like people have said before and to prevent that response of 1 plus a date possibly.... i think that those that do not have a girlfriend or boyfriend for over like 6 months or even have a girlfriend at the time we send out invitations they won't get so and so plus a date..
there are other important people i rather include than having some random person at my wedding
if it is so important for someone to bring a date then they can ask and he can tell his friends that

how is this
i am not inviting every single person with a date

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:05 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well i think ettiquette says you should invite all single adults with a date...............

violet Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:05 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

People do that, and there's nothing wrong with it. If you're having a big wedding that is over 200 people, and you have like 30 single guests, that's like 30 people you don't know coming. It really adds on.

jill13bean Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:07 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

screw ettiquette it is my wedding (or who evers wedding it is)

i am not paing over $150 a person for so many people i don't know...
many peple do a year thing where if someone doesn't have a serios signifcant other for a year than they don't have a date

oohhh sorry i didn't mean that to come out so harsh... i jsutmean that many people post it is ettiquette..... but so many people go against it and here is one of the times it makes sense

violet Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:09 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's fine. When I had a friend complaining because she wasn't invited with guest, I was like this wedding is going to have like 240 people. Do you know how much bigger this wedding would have to be if the single people were invited with guest? It's crazy. If someone is that upset that they can't bring some joe schmo with them, then they can RSVP that they're not going.

I am inviting with guest b/c it's very few people that aren't involved with someone serious.

tracyg Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:10 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thats not completely true. Ive read in numerous places that it is not necessary to invite single people 'with guest'

Xelindrya Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:10 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by jill13bean

screw ettiquette it is my wedding (or who evers wedding it is)

WHOOOHOOO!
go girl.
I say the same myself!!!!

jill13bean Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:14 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i edited my post because it sounded so harsh and i didn't mean it like that.... but

etiquette this and ettiquette that.... do it how you want
personalize your wedding

it has happened to me before.. i wasn't invited to a very close family friends wedding and not with my FH well my mother had asked and she didn't realize so she said it was fine to bring him... sometimes it is a misunderstanding but others people just can't afford it

some people only invite guests with dates if they are married or engaged.. i knwo this because i ahve been to a wedding recently like this and people still came (including one of my friends that was living with her boyfriend but could not bring him)

may04bride Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:15 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is what we did. We only invted people with dates if they are seriously dating someone ( used 6 mths as serious) We haven't got all our replies back yet but no one seems to be complaining.

bridzilla Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:16 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think every guest has to have a date. I'm only including dates for people who are in a relationship. Besides, I don't feel comfortable paying $110 dinner for a person I don't know.
It's rude if other people think I should invite every guest with a date.

tracyg Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:20 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one of FH's grandmas friends wanted to know if she could bring a date. FH's grandma asked FMIL and she told her not even to bother asking us, that it was not acceptable.
As it is we don't even know this friend (didn't want her invited in the first place). (fh maybe met her ONCE!!! 20 years ago!)

kel2004 Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:24 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been to weddings without a date, where the band played slow songs the whole night and it was horrible. I would never invite an adult without a guest. JMO

september2004 Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:28 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by jill13bean

i edited my post because it sounded so harsh and i didn't mean it like that.... but

etiquette this and ettiquette that.... do it how you want
personalize your wedding

i say etiquette/shmetiquette as well, but personally would not invite anyone without a guest. i have friends that have done this and understand why, but personally i want to leave the option open to everyone. i will not have trash at my wedding because my friends are not trashy and they do not bring trash to the table...

suven Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:30 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only people who are bringing 'dates' to my wedding are engaged.

Except for one person...HE ASKED US IF HE COULD PAY FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND so that she could come.

So, we tried to explain that it's not so much of a $ issue, but it's a space issue.

We had a 2 year engagement, and this came up in the beginning of it. He said that he'd be proposing soon, so we made the exception for him. Well, our wedding is in less than 10 weeks, and she doesn't have a ring yet...

BoogieDownBride Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:36 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve actually been encouraging my single friends to bring people! I only wrote “and guest” on the invites for people in serious relationships. Everyone else I addressed it just to the person. But I’ve told almost all of them that if they’re dating someone they want to bring, go for it!

jcdesignz Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:40 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going to a wedding without a date isnt that bad

i went to my best friend's wedding two years ago solo and that was where i met my fiance -- we were the only two single people there..... i was a solo bm he was a solo gm..

and the rest is history -----

plus a lot of people meet at weddings - its a great place to meet someone!!! as long as they know other people at the wedding to sit with - its all good

nferrandi Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:42 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think all adults need to be invited with dates. We're basing it on serious relationships, which most of our friends are in at this point. Unfortunately, we're going to have over 200 people and in order for us to be able to invite all of our friends, those who don't have significant others are not going to be able to bring a date.

Jordan Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:46 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't really care about etiquette, I just wouldn't invite an adult without a guest. I *personally* think it's rude to force that decision on an adult.

tourist Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:52 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my cowrker & I were invited to a weddign a few years ago without dates & we had serious boyfriends for a little under a year.

Her boyfriedn was offended, mien wasn't b/c he didn't really knwo the cowrkers, but it was alittle weird, b/c other cowrkre had spouses & dates, mostly because he knew the dates better thanhe knew ours.
I thought it was a little tacky, but if the person doesn't have a signifcant other I thinkits fine to not invite them to bring a date- its more intimate without strangers.
I am inviting dates, hoping people know better than to bring too random of a person , and because I need to meet my minimum.

brideinapril Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:55 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

While I agree with what you are saying, I have to tell you that when I sent out my invitations without adding a date, just addressed to the particular person - they mailed it back to my and included a guest! Can you believe the nerve!!!!!!