A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original post by jill13bean

Mar 23, 2004 12:04 PM

Well.... i was thinking and my FH and i are talking about who brings dates etc.... and his friends always have a girl but not a serious girlfriend (most of them anyway). Since i don't want trash and no shows at my wedding like people have said before and to prevent that response of 1 plus a date possibly.... i think that those that do not have a girlfriend or boyfriend for over like 6 months or even have a girlfriend at the time we send out invitations they won't get so and so plus a date..
there are other important people i rather include than having some random person at my wedding
if it is so important for someone to bring a date then they can ask and he can tell his friends that

how is this
i am not inviting every single person with a date

MCDO15 Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:17 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

only invite people you know...
why am i gonna invite some that i never seen and make it personal?

example, co workers that i hang with outside of work but never meet therre other (they are not coming)... all work ppl (10) will sit at one table... had i invited a date, that 20 ppl.. and another CP..ahhh!

Jordan Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:35 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by NYCHICK

Posted by Jordan

I don't really care about etiquette, I just wouldn't invite an adult without a guest. I *personally* think it's rude to force that decision on an adult.

What you have just described it etiquette.........

Yes, thanks for the tip - but I was referencing other posts when I typed that and stated it as my opinion - regardless of what etiquette dictates.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:37 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Jordan

Yes, thanks for the tip - but I was referencing other posts when I typed that and stated it as my opinion - regardless of what etiquette dictates.

Your opinion happens to coincide with what ettiquette dictates.......which was my point.

jill13bean Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:44 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it is not a matter of tacky... it can't be tacky when you are paying so much money for a wedding and can't afford another 8,000 for single people to bring guests nor is it necessary to spend that on people who don't give a **** if you are getting married.
Your friends should understand they are not coming to have a great time with their date but to celebrate your happioness.

If they choose not to come it is quite immature... JMO
serious relationships is one thing but guests bringing random people is another

tracyg Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:51 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

straight from Emily Post-

Suggesting that single guests who aren't attached to a significant other bring a date is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is certainly not required and often not realistic.

Hence... etiquette does not state that you SHOULD invite people with guests.

may04bride Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:52 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with you Jill13 bean and I can't believe people are making such a big deal about this.

Jordan Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:52 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by tracyg

straight from Emily Post-

Suggesting that single guests who aren't attached to a significant other bring a date is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is certainly not required and often not realistic.

Hence... etiquette does not state that you SHOULD invite people with guests.

violet Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:53 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I think if you're not inviting single people with guests, you might just want to think about who would be really uncomfortable with not bringing one. You might have a group of friends who'll be fine without bringing someone because they know each other. But say you have one person you're friends with that really won't know anyone else at wedding. In that situation, I would probably invite them with guest because you don't want them to be really uncomfortable.

heidla Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:53 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by tracyg

straight from Emily Post-

Suggesting that single guests who aren't attached to a significant other bring a date is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is certainly not required and often not realistic.

Hence... etiquette does not state that you SHOULD invite people with guests.

Thank you! I thought that I had read that somewhere, but could not remember.

OctGroom Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:54 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i know for my Wedding.. I want to know basically everyone who is there.. or at least heard of them... I don't want a bunch of strangers at my Wedding.

Besides.. single people may meet.. and you never know where it goes.... (either some juicy gossip.. hehe or a start to something really great.) You do what YOU want!

jill13bean Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:55 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok enough... i didn't want this to start.... i was just asking for opinions and opinions i got... Thank you .
i will take them into consideration and i am sure i will make the right choice
Thanks may04bride
toatally with you on that one VIOLET... that I understand

Jordan Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:56 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by jill13bean

it is not a matter of tacky... it can't be tacky when you are paying so much money for a wedding and can't afford another 8,000 for single people to bring guests nor is it necessary to spend that on people who don't give a **** if you are getting married.
Your friends should understand they are not coming to have a great time with their date but to celebrate your happioness.

If they choose not to come it is quite immature... JMO
serious relationships is one thing but guests bringing random people is another

Hey, if you're comfortable with your decision, more power to you.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:58 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by jill13bean

ok enough... i didn't want this to start.... i was just asking for opinions and opinions i got... Thank you .
i will take them into consideration and i am sure i will make the right choice
Thanks maybride

Like I said the last time.......I hear you loud and clear. You wedding your rules.

ETA - Ettiquette alos says you should invite a jailed relative in maximum security even though u know for a fact he is not going to come........well need I say more about ettiquette waste of a perfectly good invitation

jill13bean Posted: Mar 23, 2004 03:00 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks nychick

you are great NYCHICK i see what you are saying hahahahhaha

nan&dave Posted: Mar 23, 2004 03:05 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We can't follow etiquette rules either, because most of our friends are single, and I dont need an extra 20-30 people that I don't even know at our wedding. We're only inviting the ones that have significant others for over a few months. They're not steady at all. We're having over 225 people at the wedding. Just can't afford it.
I say, do what you must, especially since its your party.

MegLehner Posted: Mar 23, 2004 03:09 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by jill13bean

Your friends should understand they are not coming to have a great time with their date but to celebrate your happioness.

I want my friends to celebrate our marriage AND have a great time

June2004!!! Posted: Mar 23, 2004 03:12 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am having 225 people at my wedding. I didn't invite anyone with a guest unless they were servious and we met before. Inviting people with guests could add a serious amount of people. Don't worry about it. If they want to bring a date, they will ask.

Rob-luvs-me Posted: Mar 23, 2004 03:16 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think what it really boils down to is -

How many singles you have - if there is only 3-5 it might be nice to invite those people

How big or small your wedidng is

And - what your budget is -

I think also younger people are better with dates than people say over 50 -

Honestly if you are having say 20-50 singles dates may not be a reasonable expectation - but if you are only having a few I think it is a nice thought.

We are inviting people with dates - my parents thought that was the right thing to do - some people wanted to bring dates, some had NO interest and others - seem to be a PITA by having NO idea WHAT they want

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 03:17 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just read your pp quote......................o good heavens

Defintely not EVERY single person, maybe people who wouldn't know anyone else there and possibly have a terrible otherwise(the last thing you need is frumpy faced guests)