A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original post by jill13bean

Mar 23, 2004 12:04 PM

Well.... i was thinking and my FH and i are talking about who brings dates etc.... and his friends always have a girl but not a serious girlfriend (most of them anyway). Since i don't want trash and no shows at my wedding like people have said before and to prevent that response of 1 plus a date possibly.... i think that those that do not have a girlfriend or boyfriend for over like 6 months or even have a girlfriend at the time we send out invitations they won't get so and so plus a date..
there are other important people i rather include than having some random person at my wedding
if it is so important for someone to bring a date then they can ask and he can tell his friends that

how is this
i am not inviting every single person with a date

jennelishal Posted: Mar 23, 2004 12:57 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that all single adult guests should be invited with a date. Firstly, it makes people feel special to bring someone, they are also no alone. Second, it should be their choice. Third, most people who bring dates cover the cost of the person. Fourth, if they bring trashy friends/ dates they look trashy not you. FINALLY, it is not a requirement for people to bring gifts to a wedding. So don't expect all people to cover the cost of their plates. Although most people do and it would be nice. I see a wedding as a celebration of your love not a money making machine.

nferrandi Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:03 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think any of us see weddings as a 'money making machine' but I, and I'm sure others would agree, don't see weddings as a 'throw my money away on strangers' type of event either. I know that most people will not be covering their plate at my wedding, and I don't care in the least. I do however, resent spending money for someone to bring someone they've been out with a couple of times. JMO

jennelishal Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:10 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually do believe think that people look at it as a money making machine. We all work hard to live on this island. Unfortunately, life comes down to the all mighty dollar. I in no way meant any offense by that statement. Do what you want there will always be a difference of opinion on here.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:10 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by jill13bean

screw ettiquette it is my wedding (or who evers wedding it is)

I hear you loud and clear

september2004 Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:15 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by jennelishal

I actually do believe think that people look at it as a money making machine. We all work hard to live on this island. Unfortunately, life comes down to the all mighty dollar. I in no way meant any offense by that statement. Do what you want there will always be a difference of opinion on here.

i understood what you meant and agree with you...

Karacg Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:18 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yep, that's how my brother met his wife-- and they've been married 20 years now. I think people who are not in serious relationships think of it as a relief NOT to be invited with a guest...if you are invited with one, you have to scramble to find someone to go with. And if you know you can go alone without feeling self-conscious, knowing others will be single as well, you may even start to fantasize about meeting someone...I know my co-worker has mentioned that to me about my wedding....too bad none of the GUYS going are single!

I invited my friend's widower dad to my first wedding -- to dance with my mom (a widow) and other older widowed women there. WELL...he shows up with a date....is all over my video dancing with her everywhere....and gave us ...$50!!!!!!! Sheesh!!! Cheapes dinner for 2 they ever got, believe me!! So, don't feel obliged to invite single peeps with guests is my advice!

Jordan Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:20 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by nferrandi

I do however, resent spending money for someone to bring someone they've been out with a couple of times. JMO

Resent? That seems kind of odd. If your friend enjoys this person, shouldn't their happiness be considered as well - regardless of how you judge the wquantity of time they've spent together?

My FH was in his cousin's BP and was NOT invited with a guest - we were only dating for a couple of months at the time. My FH was really insulted and thought it was super tacky of his cousin. Me, I wasn't bothered - I had only met his cousin a couple of times at that point.

september2004 Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:21 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by nferrandi

I don't think any of us see weddings as a 'money making machine' but I, and I'm sure others would agree, don't see weddings as a 'throw my money away on strangers' type of event either. I know that most people will not be covering their plate at my wedding, and I don't care in the least. I do however, resent spending money for someone to bring someone they've been out with a couple of times. JMO

i hear what you are saying, although i personally view it as 'polite' to invite a person with a guest just as it is 'polite' for them to give a gift - neither is mandatory... it does get tricky when numbers are large...

lullabella Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:21 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with you and I say do what ever you want. Personally I wouldn't care if I wasnt allowed to bring a date to a wedding if I was single, but that is me. Other people dont like it and I can understand why.

I am allowing all my single adult guests to bring guests because I can afford them and I know my freinds won't brinmg 'trash' to my wedding. If I couldnt or was worried then I would not invite guests.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:25 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Jordan

I don't really care about etiquette, I just wouldn't invite an adult without a guest. I *personally* think it's rude to force that decision on an adult.

What you have just described it etiquette.........

wenndypoo Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:26 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Personally, I invited all adults with a guest. I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone, it's nice to have company, someone to talk to and dance with. All of my adult guests were invited with a guest, even people who I knew didn't have anyone. Two women I work with are bringing co-workers/friends. That is more than fine with me, I just want them to enjoy themselves.
I also don't feel it's my place to judge the seriousness of someones relationship just on the amount of time they've been together.

I know it's not necessary, but it is polite. IMO, it is the 'screw etiquette' attitude that makes people do the things that drive us all crazy, like bringing uninvited guests, no-shows, etc. I will do the right thing, no matter what everyone else is doing!

JMO

lullabella Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:29 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by wenndypoo

Personally, I invited all adults with a guest. I wouldn't want to go to a wedding alone, it's nice to have company, someone to talk to and dance with. All of my adult guests were invited with a guest, even people who I knew didn't have anyone. Two women I work with are bringing co-workers/friends. That is more than fine with me, I just want them to enjoy themselves.
I also don't feel it's my place to judge the seriousness of someones relationship just on the amount of time they've been together.

I know it's not necessary, but it is polite. IMO, it is the 'screw etiquette' attitude that makes people do the things that drive us all crazy, like bringing uninvited guests, no-shows, etc. I will do the right thing, no matter what everyone else is doing!

JMO

Well said ~I agree

PrincessRose Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:38 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, I know too many people.

I have too many friends who I want to invite to the wedding. I would rather have 100 people I know and like than 50 people I know and 50 of their dates.

I would totally understand if it were me, and FH would be thrilled that he didn't have to go!

Pookiesangel Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:39 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree, it's your wedding.
I am having a small wedding, and family is a large part of the guest list, so I am asking my few close friends that I plan to invite, to come as a single.. if they don't want to come alone, then I'd tell them, don't come. sorry if that sounds rude, but we have to put our foot down

MegLehner Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:39 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are inviting all single adults with guests. I just think it is the right thing to do. If gives the invitee the choice to invite someone or not.
What will single people do during the slow dances And that serious relationship rule confuses me - who decides if it is a serious relationship or not? You? do you ask the invitee? I just think that is a wierd rule.
I would be highly insulted if I was invited w/o a guest and would consider not attended for that reason. JMO

SReidy Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:51 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We're not inviting EVERYONE with a guest either. I don't think it's necessary.

AtticaQT Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:53 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm doing wait you said - if you dont have a serious significant other - then you are sitting with the single people - no way am i going to spend more money on people i dont knwo and frankly wont be a part of my life - If i think a person will really feel out of place by themselves them i will invite them with a guest - otherwise - no plus guest.

nov04LIbride Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:56 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am inviting my single female friends who are not in serious relationships alone. We are seating them with FH's single male friends in hopes they will mingle...I don't think it is in bad taste...My best friend has been invited with a date before and felt so pressured to bring someone, anyone that she has asked me to go. When I said no because I felt odd and knew none of her coworkers, she brought her brother. I think you can have fun without a date, esp. if you meet someone there!

eroxgirl Posted: Mar 23, 2004 01:56 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been invited to a wedding without a guest and I went, but even though I sat with a table full of people I knew, I hated it. I'm inviting everyone 'and guest' because I don't feel I should make the choice for everyone.

heidla Posted: Mar 23, 2004 02:16 PM

Re: A solution to inconsiderate people.....!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We decided that only those that are in committed relationships were invited 'with guest'. Our wedding is a rather small affair (only invited 79ppl) and all most of our guests have known each other for a long time.