? about old friendships...

Anyone end a friendship which was really over but feel bad, and think too much about the past?

I ended a friendship during the wedding planning and I know that I would have ended up losing touch with the person regardless, I would avoid calls, and felt liek she was never really there for me...BUT all the silly memories keep popping in my head and I dont know how to move past it and say forget it, it was not worth my energy in the first place. We were friends for 15 years and it feel like that should have amounted to something??

you know how i feel
but here are some hugs

im not sure if i ever really 'ended' a friendship... there are definately friends that I lost touch with, or got in a tiff with and kind of stopped talking to... and i do think about some of those friends every once in a while, and if that friend was that important, and i was thinking about them a lot, i just give them a call to say hi and just see what is going on with them...

i hope this made sense...

I feel sad about old friendships alot..its like..I grew up with them thru Elementary and HS...but once this friend got her boyfriend, she basically ditched me....but when they broke up, she wanted to hang out again, and get reaquainted....I like a fool took her back in...my childhood friend...

Well, she did it again..another guy...I was outta the picture, and she did end up engaged to him and married, and had the halls to invite me to the wedding, after not speaking to me for 2 years...

So, with her, I do not regret the friendship ending...

but it still saddens me that my best friend from my childhood is no longer even a Friend....strange how life works

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Posted by dm24angel

I feel glad Im not alone. I KNOW its for the best, I avoided this persons calls, but when you know its over and you wont ever talk to them again, well I guess the old times seem bittersweet.

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i've been there before. never really 'ended' a friendship, but went out of my way to avoid continuining one is more like it. yeah, there are some great memories, funny pictures... but you never capture the bad times in the snapshots though. i think some people just serve their purpose at different points in your life, but sometimes you have to let go of those from the past that arent adding any positivity to the future... just my thought

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Posted by dm24angel

Anyone end a friendship which was really over but feel bad, and think too much about the past?

I ended a friendship during the wedding planning and I know that I would have ended up losing touch with the person regardless, I would avoid calls, and felt liek she was never really there for me...BUT all the silly memories keep popping in my head and I dont know how to move past it and say forget it, it was not worth my energy in the first place. We were friends for 15 years and it feel like that should have amounted to something??

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Wow, I could've written this myself. Same thing, our friendship ended during the wedding planning and I knew deep inside that our friendship would never last anyway, but I think about her often, especially since we'd been friends for so many years. I know though that ending our friendship was the healthy and right thing to do and even though those good memories may make you laugh and smile, you have to think about the bad times and what made your friendship crumble in the first place. In my case, the bad outweighs the good, by a LOT.

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Posted by neeniebean86

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Posted by dm24angel

I feel glad Im not alone. I KNOW its for the best, I avoided this persons calls, but when you know its over and you wont ever talk to them again, well I guess the old times seem bittersweet.

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i've been there before. never really 'ended' a friendship, but went out of my way to avoid continuining one is more like it. yeah, there are some great memories, funny pictures... but you never capture the bad times in the snapshots though. i think some people just serve their purpose at different points in your life, but sometimes you have to let go of those from the past that arent adding any positivity to the future... just my thought

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That made sense..thanks! It still is hard. And I'm left not knowing what thebest thing to do is...do I want to continue the friendship..and try to repair it, or just say its for the best..I guess Im confused as to what to do from here.

I grew up with a girl. We were great friends up until I graduated HS (she was younger). I started college, we lost touch here and there.
I was doing my wedding list, I invited her, unfortunatley, she couldnt make it.
She moved, I moved. Our parents are still neighbors and she asked my mom for our number.
I will make a long story short, I went to her wedding last weekend. It was great.
We are not as close as we used to be, however, we do keep in touch over the phone and through our parents and I am so happy she's back in my life.

You are not alone.

I do think back to all our good times and awesome memories and my heart does hurt and I miss her.

But I think we are different people from when we were 10, 15, 17 and even 23. Things in her life changed so much and my life changed too.

She even said it to me, I don't know who you are anymore.

But she hurt me and she hurt Phil on our wedding day and I can't get over that.

But one thing I will always be grateful to her for is bringing Phil into my life 7 years ago.

I have ended friendships and let others end on their own and it is tough. Sometimes I look back and times in my life and realize that there a bunch of good memories with people where the frienships just didn't last. The times were good for what they were and when they were.

I agree that friendships serve a purpose and everything has a place and time. Not every person you are friends with is meant to be around forever. Some are meant to teach us lessons and then we move on.

On a slight side note, but somewhat related: I was going through the scrapbook that my mom made for my shower last year and there were a bunch of pics with my SIL in them. Well, my Bro and SIL are getting divorced and as much as I was thinking of taking out the pages and redoing it with other pics, I stopped myself and realized that for better or for worse, those were pages of my life and we were having fun in those pics, so I left the pages.

Remember the good for what it was, but don't let it change your mind and make you go back to the friend. We all have to go through this at one time or another.

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Posted by xjulietx

I have ended friendships and let others end on their own and it is tough. Sometimes I look back and times in my life and realize that there a bunch of good memories with people where the frienships just didn't last. The times were good for what they were and when they were.

I agree that friendships serve a purpose and everything has a place and time. Not every person you are friends with is meant to be around forever. Some are meant to teach us lessons and then we move on.

On a slight side note, but somewhat related: I was going through the scrapbook that my mom made for my shower last year and there were a bunch of pics with my SIL in them. Well, my Bro and SIL are getting divorced and as much as I was thinking of taking out the pages and redoing it with other pics, I stopped myself and realized that for better or for worse, those were pages of my life and we were having fun in those pics, so I left the pages.

Remember the good for what it was, but don't let it change your mind and make you go back to the friend. We all have to go through this at one time or another.

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soooo well said, Juliet