Am I being petty?

We will be paying for FH's mom to fly in and will put her up as well. His sister also lives out of state and isnt in any better financial state. I dont feel that we need to pay for her and kids to come in for wedding. MY FH I know will feel guilty. Do I have a right to argue or let it be because its his family.

My point is we are paying for everything for our wedding, how much do we have to keep shelling out?

Re: Am I being petty?

Since that is his sister (and I know how much I would do for my own family) I would fly her down, but not the kids. Do the kids have someone to stay with if she's gone?

Re: Am I being petty?

How far away are they? Can they drive? How many kids is it? Can you afford to pay for them all? Is your FH really close with his family? I don't think you are being petty I would probably feel the same but it is his family so you should be ready for him to decide to pay for them all

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I realize its hard to let all this money go but weddings are about family - if his sister cant afford to fly in, then paying for her flight and accomadations are the right thing to do IMO.

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Thats the problem they dont have anyone. THe kids are a package deal. I get so aggrevated with this crap.

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Well then they need you guys!

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They live in Ohio, I just get annoyed because his mom is one thing but his sister is another. I dont know, I feel as though we have to pay for everyone we both know there will be no gift and yeah I know its not abou the gift but sometimes I feel like they are sponges.

I know that for the rest of ourlives we will be giving handouts.

Re: Am I being petty?

Unfortunately when you said yes, you got all the stuff that comes with that!

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I knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

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Re: Am I being petty?

It sounds to me like you are quite resentful of your FH's family, and that it has less to do about the wedding then your financial responsibility later on. Not helping his sister come to the wedding does seem very sad to me. Does your husband resent them this much too? Is there a reason she can't make decent money, or does he think she is just lazy? Not helping them come to the wedding will convey a very powerful message -- be sure you are ready to say to her, 'having you at our wedding isn't that important to us.'

Re: Am I being petty?

I think it would be the right thing to do. I am sure it is important to your FH that they be there.

Re: Am I being petty?

she (his sister) just goes from one bad situation to anohter. When I first met him, he didnt bother with his family. then I came in the pic and said family is family never be embarrased. No I know why he didnt bother with htem.

Oh well I dont want to sound like a evil person, I not I was just venting.....

Re: Am I being petty?

If they don't have anyone to watch the kids, then I know it's a pain, but you have to pay for all.
I think if my sister couldnt come to my wedding, I'd do anything, even if I had to pay. I would even change my date if she couldnt make it.
Hang in there, I know it can be frustrating, but yup it's like that with in-laws, they are now your family too.

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I would fly her and her children down and just **** it up as more wedding expense. Part of the magic of a wedding is to share it with family and friends and if she's not there she might be missed. Do you have any good friends or family that might be able to put them up while they are here. That might save you alittle on the hotel bill.

Good luck!!

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You said they're in Ohio? That's not too far to drive. I would think that if you made the effort to offer to cover her accommodations, then her effort could be making the drive. It should be a 2 way street.
I don't know what your situation is, but I couldn't afford 4 airline tickets, on top of all the other wedding stuff.

Good luck with the 'stickey' situation. Families are sometimes very difficult to negotiate.

Jen

Re: Am I being petty?

If it was someone other than his sister than I would say no, you are not obligated. But it is his sister, so I would definately fly her in.

Good luck.

Re: Am I being petty?

Thanks ladies. The reson they cant drive sis has no license and mom is 75 would never work Oh wel

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My family is totally financially ruined- we are flying up my grandparents & a few of my aunts & uncles... you do what you need to do.

Since it is his sister- I would bite the bullet and be the better person- you'll feel good about it.

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Wacky,
1.I am shocked there is nobody to watch the kids for a day or two? There is no babysitters there?

2.This may be a more painful option, but perhaps have someone go to OH and pick them up and drive them here and back? It requires time, but may be good thing to do if someone is heading that way for some other reason?

3.Would taking a bus be less $$$?