For us, we're only allowing guests in serious relationships to bring someone to the wedding. Older single guests will be permitted to bring someone, but chances are that they won't anyway. We have a lot of cousins who are not married or in a relationship right now and didn't think they would feel alone since they have their family there. If I was single and invited to a wedding but my cousins were gonna be there, I would still have an awesome time. We'll probably let the BP bring a guest because most of them are in serious relationships so we'll just extend the invitation to all of them. If we have trouble meeting our minimum, we'll then allow people who wanted to bring a guest but weren't originally invited with one to bring somebody. If they ask why they couldn't bring their guest we'll just tell them that 'as of right now, we may not have the room to accomodate more people, but as we start getting responses we might be able to invite your guest.' Hopefully no one will be as upset because the possibility will still be out there.
winterwhite
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
My rule is over 18 gets a guest.
There is going to be lots of dancing and I think its disgraceful to make a 18yr old dance with her dad the whole time.
They should get a guest (relationship or not). Its important just to have someone to pair off with, when other people do.
LaurenluvsTJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
I invited everyone with a guest. I know about budgets and keeping numbers down and all that, but I just don't think its right not to. Who are we to determine what a 'serious' relationship is? A friend of mine got married about 2 months after I started dating DH, and in my mind, we were already serious by then - and I am sure the majority of people would not consider 2 months 'serious.' (she did invite me with guest
EGreene79
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
We're inviting everyone with a guest, but only because we have the room and resources. If we didn't, some people definitely would be invited without them.
I've been to several weddings over the past year and I've seen:
- Guests invited only if it's a serious, long term relationship. Singles definitely didn't get a guest.
- Only married or engaged couples brought a guest. I have one friend who is in a serious relationship, and her bf didn't get invited and she was fine with it. She completely understood.
I've heard a few people complain, but really, weddings are expensive. Guests should be happy that the bride and groom want them there bad enough to even pay for them! I know that sounds harsh, but I understand why a lot of people don't want random guests there. If you have limited funds or room wouldn't you rather invite as many of your friends and family as possible, rather than friends bringing random guests you barely know?
NY031978
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
We tried to keep it 18 and over. This way i can have my younger cousins there w. the exception of my uncles kids bc they are only 10(twins) and 8! I figured id play it safe that way. I said if the ppl 18 and up are in a relationship I will do the guest thing. Thats only bc i recall going to events and was 21 and my ex wasnt invited. They always used lame rules that I never brought him around (yet he lived 2 hrs from me and went to school in CT) But anyway it got real annoying when it came to parties and weddings and I had to go solo! Sooo we are doing guests w. them all!! Im not 100% happy over it but alot of my cousins who are single are alot older than me so i feel how can i not invite them w/ someone?? Or some are split from their wives and now have new GF!
As for BP......id def give them the option of a guest or not! How akward is that sitting there while all the ppl around you have someone and you dont?!
Tiggeruth
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
for the bridal party they were all invited with guest, but only one of them isn't seriously dating someone and she just RSVp'd for herself because she didn't want to bring someone new into the mix when she wont really be around all day.
If the person is single but part of a larger group (for example all of FH's friends from High School who all still hang out together) I didn't invite them with guest. Single friends from work i didn't invite with guest. Basically any spot that i could get away with inviting someone as just them i did. I didn't want to offend anyone but I didn't want people to feel like they should bring just anyone either.
The best thing is to just invite people how you are comfortable inviting them. Also explain you are trying to keep numbers down.
ronnysbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
We actually asked our single friends if it was ok if they were invited without a guest. Some didn't care so they got a invite for one...and the others that wanted to bring a guest got a +1 invite. For the ones that were invited without a guest, we told them that if they changed their mind even a month before the wedding, just to let us know.
Its seemed to work out ok so far....I'll let you know after the wedding if I hear any complaints.
October Bliss
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
We did not invite anyone single with a guest. The rule was serious relationship/living together. That said, two people showed up with guests and neither had sent in their RSVP. One was a member of the BP, the other was a 'friend' of mine. I was extremely pi$$ed off about both. The BP member was MIA until 3:00 PM the day before the wedding and I later found out DH paid for his tux, and he didn't give a gift. So, we paid for his tux, his dinner, and the dinner for his uninvited guest, and had all the stress of not knowing whether or not he was even going to make it to the wedding. The other is someone I've done a lot of work with in the past several years that is in the middle of a divorce, so I found the uninvited paramour to be a slap in the face.
stephanief
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
IMO, and I have always felt this way
All of your guests should be invited with a guest. No flames, just my opinion
LaurenF
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
You also have to remember that it's more expensive for your friend to BRING the guest---at least you hope that they'd be giving a more generous gift if YOU'RE paying for two people instead of one. I know this is not always the case and that this thought would not even cross some people's minds, but hopefully that will be part of the thought process which might influence some people to NOT bring the guest that you are hoping they do not bring!!!!
jennd311
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
we are inviting single friends/family with guests
last year a friend did not allow any of her single friends to bring guests to her wedding (even the BP, who mostly were single) and it caused alot of hard feelings. She would up last minute telling the BP to bring a guest. IMO -- I would at least invite BP with guest.
kathrynlinton
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
We invited anyone over 21 with a guest.
We didn't have anyone really in the bracket of ages between about 15-21, so no one really cared.
I was in a BP and the bride said only people in relationships would be invited with a guest. This was a year before the wedding. It is tough to try to stick to this because dating status does change. This caused a lot of hurt feelings in the BP itself.
Honestly, unless you REALLY can't spare it, invite guests. And like a previous poster said, about 95% of our people who were invited 'and guest' and were single didn't just bring a date for the sake of bringing a date.
AeroJenn
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
Posted by EmberLynn
I would only invite the guest if this person has been in a long term relationship. Thats it. I wasn't about to invite the world to my wedding.
Same here! We just couldnt afford to invite everyone with guests -- especially if they already knew other people that were going to be there. The only people we invited with a guest were people who are in serious relationships OR people who didnt know anyone else at the wedding. Everyone else will just have to deal....
June12007bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
Posted by jgl
unforntunetly, I feel that if the person is old enough to bring a date.. i usually use the rule of 20 yrs + then i invite them with a guest, even if they may not be dating anyone. I feel it is unfair to invite people without bringing a comfort person haha if they want
I agree
MattandTricia07
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
As of right now we have about 250 people on our list! If we let all of our single friends bring a guest, it would be too crazy. The way I see it, all of our friends are friends with each other, so if they don't have an 'and guest' they have each other. This goes for our bridal party as well-- you need to be in a signifcant relationship with the person in order to be invited with them. It may seem harsh, but there is no other way for us.
SoontobeMrsH
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
We want an intimate affair (100-130 guest) noone is being invited w/ a guest unless:
- they are married -they are engaged - they are living together
this way noone's feelings get hurt, this is our guideline
Trishthedish
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
I never really thought about this yet.
Honestly, if my friends are single or have significant others, tehy will all be invited with a guest. I know if I was invited to a wedding and I was not in a relationship, I would probably not want to go by myself. It is always better to bring someone with you. In my opinion.
As for my bridal party, yes, they will be invited with guests.
As for the older adults, I am not really sure.
Julybride08
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
I had this problem with my engagment party. We invited my fh cousin who is 18 and not her boyfriend (whom we have never met and didn't even know she had) and her parents called my fmil and complained that why wasn't he invited. So she said that she wasn't going to come if he wasn't invited. So she didn't come to the party. And also she said that she wasn't coming cause she wouldn't know anyone.....her whole family was going to be there and all of her cousins!!!
I think that if there over 20 and in a long term relationship then they get an and guest.
Elise&Matt
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
Posted by LaurenF
Most of my friends have significant others, but even if someone doesn't, I'm inviting everyone with a guest. I always hated being invited to a wedding and feeling like the bride and groom were scrutinizing my relationships to determine if it was 'serious' enough to invite me with a guest. I used to hear of brides who would invite a friend with a guest if the friend had been with their significant other for either a certain amount of time, or were living with them, or some other weird way of determining whether THEY thought it was serious enough to invite 'the guest'.
I agree w/ Lauren
GabrielleandJohn
Posted:
Member since
Re: ...and Guest?
We are not having any children at our wedding. The youngest person is my lil sis and she will be 24. With that being said, we invited everyone with a guest. Our friends, our families, our families friends.
I know that the question of adult singles came up and I think that it is wrong to not invite them with a guest. My mom just went to a wedding and wasn't invited with a guest (dad passed unexpectedly in April) and she was uncomfortable. If she had been invited w/guest I would have gone with her. We would have doubled our gift and she would have enjoyed herself more. I think it is rude and insensitive to invite older ppl as singles.
