Annoyed/Upset

Thumballina Posted: Mar 04, 2005 11:50 AM

Annoyed/Upset

HappyLady05 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 11:54 AM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Wow, that's a tough situation. I dont blame you for being upset. If they are close friends, almost like family, then they should realize your financial position. There's really not much you can do. Sorry, i wish i could be more help

MrsJ Posted: Mar 04, 2005 11:54 AM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

That is asking a lot of your friends for a trip like that. Personally, as much as I would like to go on the trip I would have to say no, but I would still be in the BP.

Have you talked to other people in the BO about the expenses? Maybe they feel the same way and maybe you can convince the bride and groom to be to do something else?

eogara Posted: Mar 04, 2005 11:59 AM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Posted by kelleherkm
Personally, as much as I would like to go on the trip I would have to say no, but I would still be in the BP.

I agree. I think when people plan away trips for their bachelor/bachelorette parties, they have to do so with the understanding that not everyone may be able to go.

Thumballina Posted: Mar 04, 2005 11:59 AM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Posted by kelleherkm

That is asking a lot of your friends for a trip like that. Personally, as much as I would like to go on the trip I would have to say no, but I would still be in the BP.

Have you talked to other people in the BO about the expenses? Maybe they feel the same way and maybe you can convince the bride and groom to be to do something else?

jimmysgrl Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:00 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Ummmmm......goodness, I think I would be upset too but not so much at them because if they are financially well off they probably have no clue how the rest of us live. I guess for everyone it really comes down to whether you can afford to be in the wedding. No one would blame you if you explained to the couple that you can't afford x,y,z and hopefully, they'll say they don't care they still want you to be a part of the big day. You have a great reason why you can't spend so much money since you're spending on your own, I'm sure they woudl understand.

Preshy7 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:01 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

thats very unfair for these people to expect those things - that is a huge monetary commitment. if i were you id tell her that you are saving for your own wedding and will need ot decline. i am sure she will understand. i really think that is so ridiculous.

dpli Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:02 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Honestly, I would re-think being in this wedding. I am financially stable myself, but I just could not justify spending this much money for someone else's wedding. Since they just asked you, can you gracefully bow out?

ETS: My honeymoon cost less for the both of us than what you are saying you will have to put out for this wedding - just to give it some perspective.

Thumballina Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:03 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Posted by eogara

Posted by kelleherkm
Personally, as much as I would like to go on the trip I would have to say no, but I would still be in the BP.

I agree. I think when people plan away trips for their bachelor/bachelorette parties, they have to do so with the understanding that not everyone may be able to go.

shamrock12472 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:03 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

I can understand being upset and a little put off but this is their wedding and what they want. You don't have to go the respective bachelor/bachelorette parties. I think everyone would understand that it isn't in your budget right now.

o17range Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:11 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

This is a tough situation. It's tough to tell friends, even close ones, that you simply cannot afford everything they ask of you. But, it sounds like you may just have to lay it all out for them. Remind them you are saving up for your own wedding--at the same time, I'd just remind you to be as enthusiastic for their wedding as possible. There is still plenty with which you can be involved.

sophie78 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:14 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

You don't have to go away with them. Just decline. No big deal.

beautyq115 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:17 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Seems like alot to ask of people

lauren16 Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:21 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

I was in a very similar situation last year with a good friend. Her bachelorette party was also in Vegas (only 4 days at least), but we all paid for her trip, the dress was Vera Wang ($$$), shower in New Hampshire, wedding at an expensive hotel in New Hampshire, plus gifts, etc. It was ridiculous, and if I had to do it again I would not have gone to Vegas. That would have saved a lot of money and she would certainly understand - ESPECIALLY since i have a wedding to pay for now. Anyone would understand that...so it's better to decline than be bitter for years to come.

bluesashbride Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:22 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

i think its an upsetting situation but not that tough, at some point the amount of money to be in a wedding becomes ridiculous and this RIGHT BEFORE YOUR WEDDING is nuts. i mean if a friend wanted my FH and i to spend that on them-i would do a spreadsheet, show them the costs and decline, letting them know they will be celebrated and gifted as much as possible by myself and FH-but 5.5K (which is conservative when you think about it-there are ALWAYS extra costs with travel and BP expenditures.) that's just too much.

Thumballina Posted: Mar 04, 2005 12:26 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Posted by bluesashbride

i think its an upsetting situation but not that tough, at some point the amount of money to be in a wedding becomes ridiculous and this RIGHT BEFORE YOUR WEDDING is nuts. i mean if a friend wanted my FH and i to spend that on them-i would do a spreadsheet, show them the costs and decline, letting them know they will be celebrated and gifted as much as possible by myself and FH-but 5.5K (which is conservative when you think about it-there are ALWAYS extra costs with travel and BP expenditures.) that's just too much.

AnniesSS Posted: Mar 04, 2005 01:21 PM

Re: Annoyed/Upset

Sorry you have to deal with this. It's unfair and expensive! I couldn't do that at all - way outa my league Worst part is that you are having an argument with FH over it.