another QOTD - FH addicted to porn?

I wouldnt mind unless he was 'addicted' and/or it was taking over his life. He has a subscription to Playboy... it started when his roommate wanted it but knew his girlfriend (now fiance) would totally freak so they ordered it in FH's name. He renewed it this year. The jokes are pretty funny most of the time and I was surprised to see there are actually articles in there, I always thought it was just pictures!

I don't feel threatened or anything.. but I know plenty of girls do. (Ex: old roomie's fiance also made him take down swimsuit model posters from his college dorm room, and won't let him to go a strip club during a friend's bachelor party)

Edit: I was a studio art minor and have drawn many many nude models during college. I know it's not a sexual thing so it's kind of different, but I've seen many ... parts... of all shaps and sizes. FH didnt care and thought it was funny

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

now i feel crazy! lol I've known about fh's 'car parts' folder for some time...and at first he was open about it until i commented on how it made me upset. he changed the name on the folder to car parts but kept downloading more. i found it and we had a talk and it upset me that he enjoyed watching these dirty W*$R35 do nasty things. I'm not a prude when it comes to him...I think I do my best to keep him happy...although i have boundaries as to what i feel uncomfortable with. there is only one thing he's kind of into that i refuse to do.

we've been together 8 yrs...and it seems silly to let that affect me...but it really does. it makes me feel inadequate as a lover.I don't want him looking at other women and fantasizing about them...

he has never cheated...i know this with 100% certainty...but still it bugs me. I kinda feel its a sin of lust because its not me turning him on.

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Easy solution....watch it with him..it will be uncomfortable at first but pretend you are someone else....watch it and let it 'turn you on' too...then you two can share the experience and you wont feel intimidated....it will spice of your love life...he will be appreciative that you would do that with him too...you may enjoy it.. there's nothing wrong with you enjoying it to.. It has to be soft porn though!!! none of the disgusting hard stuff...make that your compromise..

No harm in trying it!!!! Trust me....

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I have tried...but...it just doesn't do it for me. i think its gross...guys spitting in girls arses...anal.... It grosses me out and makes me feel dirty...and not in a sexy way. we have a most amazing relationship...and even our sex life is good...but this is the one thing i just don't know if i will ever be cool with.

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That's why you have to watch the softer stuff.. I HATE THAT STUFF TOO!! Yuck!! Softer porn is much better for women.. it's worth a shot.

I think the problem lies in the fact that the guys watch the porn, and suddenly expect their girlfriends to turn into the women on the screen. I have had to reming FH several times that I am NOT a porn star. I have boundries that those women never had.

Also...He always thinks that his friends have porn star girlfriends and that they get it all the time. I have to assure him that no typical man gets it more than any other!

I can't say either way. He's really discreet about it and I'm assuming he goes on the internet b/c he doesn't have a stash. (He threw that out when he moved out of his 'Frat' house before he had to move back home 2 years ago)

BUT! I do understand the feeling when you catch them with their stash. In the beginning I felt like I wasn't satisfying him enough, or I didn't have such a voracious need for it as he does.

Then I came to the realization that he's a guy and he could have s e x every day if I wanted it LOL

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Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly

I think the problem lies in the fact that the guys watch the porn, and suddenly expect their girlfriends to turn into the women on the screen. I have had to reming FH several times that I am NOT a porn star. I have boundries that those women never had.

Also...He always thinks that his friends have porn star girlfriends and that they get it all the time. I have to assure him that no typical man gets it more than any other!

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hmmm i dont think all men think like that. As far as crazy and nasty things, alot of men dont expect that from their gf or wife. Fh puts strippers and porn stars in a different category, not ever someone he would've dated, a 1 night stand maybe. He is even weird and doesnt want his wife doing some of those things bc then she would be put in that category and this i mean as nasty crazy things not regular type stuff. Hmmm i hope i made sense and explained what i am trying to get across. I once brought something up and nothing crazy at all and not something that is associated with porn i mean probably comes out but its not the act itself lol...anyways fh was like OH NO i cant thats what you do with girls you dont care about. Ive heard a few guys say things like that

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly

I think the problem lies in the fact that the guys watch the porn, and suddenly expect their girlfriends to turn into the women on the screen. I have had to reming FH several times that I am NOT a porn star. I have boundries that those women never had.

Also...He always thinks that his friends have porn star girlfriends and that they get it all the time. I have to assure him that no typical man gets it more than any other!

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hmmm i dont think all men think like that. As far as crazy and nasty things, alot of men dont expect that from their gf or wife. Fh puts strippers and porn stars in a different category, not ever someone he would've dated, a 1 night stand maybe. He is even weird and doesnt want his wife doing some of those things bc then she would be put in that category and this i mean as nasty crazy things not regular type stuff. Hmmm i hope i made sense and explained what i am trying to get across. I once brought something up and nothing crazy at all and not something that is associated with porn i mean probably comes out but its not the act itself lol...anyways fh was like OH NO i cant thats what you do with girls you dont care about. Ive heard a few guys say things like that

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my FH is the same way ! he feels it is disrespectful in every way even if I say it doesn't bother me !

When we moved in together he threw all his porn out. I told him he didn't need to do that , but he insisted ! I know once in awhile he will watch cinimax ( haha) but thats about it for him

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Soon2beAlberti

now i feel crazy! lol I've known about fh's 'car parts' folder for some time...and at first he was open about it until i commented on how it made me upset. he changed the name on the folder to car parts but kept downloading more. i found it and we had a talk and it upset me that he enjoyed watching these dirty W*$R35 do nasty things. I'm not a prude when it comes to him...I think I do my best to keep him happy...although i have boundaries as to what i feel uncomfortable with. there is only one thing he's kind of into that i refuse to do.

we've been together 8 yrs...and it seems silly to let that affect me...but it really does. it makes me feel inadequate as a lover.I don't want him looking at other women and fantasizing about them...

he has never cheated...i know this with 100% certainty...but still it bugs me. I kinda feel its a sin of lust because its not me turning him on.

---

Easy solution....watch it with him..it will be uncomfortable at first but pretend you are someone else....watch it and let it 'turn you on' too...then you two can share the experience and you wont feel intimidated....it will spice of your love life...he will be appreciative that you would do that with him too...you may enjoy it.. there's nothing wrong with you enjoying it to.. It has to be soft porn though!!! none of the disgusting hard stuff...make that your compromise..

No harm in trying it!!!! Trust me....

---

I have tried...but...it just doesn't do it for me. i think its gross...guys spitting in girls arses...anal.... It grosses me out and makes me feel dirty...and not in a sexy way. we have a most amazing relationship...and even our sex life is good...but this is the one thing i just don't know if i will ever be cool with.

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i don't think he is watching it bc of you, i think thats where the issue comes in play and why it bothers you. Just remember it doesn't mean its bc youre not attractive or not good in bed or anything. Guys have been watching porn since they were young teenagers its just a thing they have, does not reflect how he feels about the relationship

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09'er Crashing- Espo- you summed it up perfectly. I could give a crap less that my FH watches porn. I found it on his computer by accident and I joke with him and he gets all embarassed. Whatever. It's what guys do!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly

I think the problem lies in the fact that the guys watch the porn, and suddenly expect their girlfriends to turn into the women on the screen. I have had to reming FH several times that I am NOT a porn star. I have boundries that those women never had.

Also...He always thinks that his friends have porn star girlfriends and that they get it all the time. I have to assure him that no typical man gets it more than any other!

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hmmm i dont think all men think like that. As far as crazy and nasty things, alot of men dont expect that from their gf or wife. Fh puts strippers and porn stars in a different category, not ever someone he would've dated, a 1 night stand maybe. He is even weird and doesnt want his wife doing some of those things bc then she would be put in that category and this i mean as nasty crazy things not regular type stuff. Hmmm i hope i made sense and explained what i am trying to get across. I once brought something up and nothing crazy at all and not something that is associated with porn i mean probably comes out but its not the act itself lol...anyways fh was like OH NO i cant thats what you do with girls you dont care about. Ive heard a few guys say things like that

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I don't think what I was trying to get across came out right. I don't that FH views me as a wh*re or anything like that. He just suggests things that he sees and kind of thinks they're a normal everyday activity...

I don't think he puts me in the same category at all and he is very respective of my comfort level!

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Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly

I think the problem lies in the fact that the guys watch the porn, and suddenly expect their girlfriends to turn into the women on the screen. I have had to reming FH several times that I am NOT a porn star. I have boundries that those women never had.

Also...He always thinks that his friends have porn star girlfriends and that they get it all the time. I have to assure him that no typical man gets it more than any other!

---

hmmm i dont think all men think like that. As far as crazy and nasty things, alot of men dont expect that from their gf or wife. Fh puts strippers and porn stars in a different category, not ever someone he would've dated, a 1 night stand maybe. He is even weird and doesnt want his wife doing some of those things bc then she would be put in that category and this i mean as nasty crazy things not regular type stuff. Hmmm i hope i made sense and explained what i am trying to get across. I once brought something up and nothing crazy at all and not something that is associated with porn i mean probably comes out but its not the act itself lol...anyways fh was like OH NO i cant thats what you do with girls you dont care about. Ive heard a few guys say things like that

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I don't think what I was trying to get across came out right. I don't that FH views me as a wh*re or anything like that. He just suggests things that he sees and kind of thinks they're a normal everyday activity...

I don't think he puts me in the same category at all and he is very respective of my comfort level!

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oh no sorry dont take it the wrong way. I meant that if your FH sees that i dont think he expects you to be a porn star so you shouldn't feel like that. Sorry if it came out wrong

If he was keeping it from me, I'd be angry.

And if I asked him to not watch it anymore and he did, I'd be angry at that too.

If he asked me to stop doing something because it made him uncomfortable, I would.

It's not a necessity so he could TOTALLY give it up. Yeah, you trust him, but tell him again it makes you uncomfortable.

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Posted by soon2bmrsconnolly

porn doesn't bother me at all- as long as it's not on display...but he keeps it hidden...

If it was excessive amounts of it, then yes, I think it would be an issue..

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me too

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Posted by Mici n KC

Guys will watch porn regardless. Any of your FH's that says they don't is a liar. If it's done on his own time and I don't see the stash, I don't care.

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LOL I was just going to say the same thing, they all watch it! and if he does it on his own time good for him!

this was a very comforting thread for me! again - grew up with all girls so i have no clue whats normal here! lol gotta love the porn discussion on LIW!

I think that 95% of American men watch porn, and the other 5% are lying.
Seriously, I wouldn't be too concerned. Maybe he's embarassed. I know DH has a handful of DVD's and I've seen clips in the computer history. He doesn't tell me about it, but I don't think it's dishonest. I'd rather he watch that occasionally than go out to t*ttie bars.

Is there any option for *him* trying a different kind of porn, maybe something with somewhat of a story attached? There is porn that is created with the intention of turning women on... maybe if you switch up what he's watching you'll enjoy it more?

On the other hand, If he's into things that you aren't, perhaps porn is the way for him to go. It let's him fullfill a fantasy that you're not comfortable with - which is something I fully applaud. It's certainly tons better than you doing things you're not comfortable doing. Haven't you ever fantasized about something your FH won't do - i mean, really, it could even be the dishes!

Fantasy, as long as it's non-violent, in my opinion, is pretty harmless. My boy can watch all the porn he wants, I know it's me he wants :)

my FH has an addiction to downloading.
anything.
porn, music, movies, pictures, etc. he's also a packrat, in real life and cyber world. he MUST KEEP EVERYTHING.

it used to p1ss me off royally when we shared a computer, because it never ran right and always had a million things downloading in the background.
But now i have my own laptop and he has a computer that is virus ridden and runs like sh1t, and that's his own problem, no longer mine.

and he has a decent stack of magazines, but has his own closet, so doesn't affect me.

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Posted by nmagel

I think that 95% of American men watch porn, and the other 5% are lying.
Seriously, I wouldn't be too concerned. Maybe he's embarassed. I know DH has a handful of DVD's and I've seen clips in the computer history. He doesn't tell me about it, but I don't think it's dishonest. I'd rather he watch that occasionally than go out to t*ttie bars.

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YEAH its an awkward conversation to bring up 'so how are you honey, what did you do today' oh im good just watched a bunch of porn i dont think theyre doing it to be sneaky, just dont want to really talk about it either...If it becomes an addiction and a problem thats different