Answer Seriously

So we all have our own opinions about what is reasonable and what is classy and what is silly and what is elegant... blah blah blah We all are adults and realize that YOUR idea of a dream wedding is NOT necessarily everyone's idea of a dream wedding.

And yet.. people get SO defensive.

So be honest... when you see someone who says something that might show a different opinion than yours - does it truly upset you?

For example... my wedding dress has color in it. My girlfriend told me that she thought that was just not very bridal and that she doesn't like it. I did not burst into tears I just said 'Well coming from someone wearing that shirt... I can't expect anything else!' Then we both laughed.

Can you HONESTLY handle the slightest criticism when it comes to your wedding?

Yes, I can, because I know that opinions are what makes the world go round. It would be SO boring if everyone's tastes were the same and everyone did everything exactly as the next person.

Certain things might not be my taste... but then some things I do certainly aren't other peoples tastes! I'm sure people look at me and my stuff and go 'HUH?'

I have found it quite fascinating how different people really are throughout this whole planning process.

I think it has to do with your real life personality. I'm not a sensitive person. I definitely wouldn't feel hurt by people from the internet that I have never met. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.

I only take to heart the opinions of my fiance and a few girls in my bridal party.

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Posted by citycrab705

oh well good thing its my wedding

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Exactly!!!

I can handle criticism most of the time. Everyone likes different things. For example my brother told me my invitations looked cheap....i told him that's fine and when he gets married he can get 'expensive looking' invites....

However the criticism that does bother me and when I hear it I want to ring their neck is.....'why are you having a wedding...weddings are a waste of money...blah blah blah' (yet they want to be invited)

Personally-I have to say i think it depends on WHO the criticism is coming. I know that certain things I find a waste of money other people may not and vice versa...do i get upset about it-No. But it is also in the way and level of rudeness a person states their opinion.

Its one thing to say 'my personal preference is a white dress, i am a little more on the traditional side' which is my opinion. have i seen dresses with color..YES and they are grogeous! So I think it can vary depening on few key factors.

I dont really mind if your opinon isnt the same as mine, its my wedding.

I wouldn't say I get defensive. But I feel more doubtful if my sisters, my mom or close friends who's opinion I value immeasurably don't agree. Not with everything though. I usually ask for a lot of opinions first and then weight the pro's and cons and make a decision. Yet, if I showed one of my friends or sisters a pic of my dress and they said they didn't like it I know I would start to second guess the dress. That's just me. But if it's someone on here I really don't care too much. I don't know the person and their taste and they don't know me.

it's not so much about other people's opinions and whatnot... but for me, it's more about the WAY in which people CHOOSE to say things. they could choose to word things differently and still get the same point across but in a less 'offensive' manner. now, not everyone has to do this but i always do it with other people and i'd like to think i'd get the same respect in return...

for me, when i don't like something or it's different than what i would pick-- i try to compliment a part that i do like and simply say, but it's not for me personally-- but it's nice for you, very unique. -- now, was that so hard? to just say things in a nicer way? i don't know, i just think it would make the world a nicer place.

a friend of mine has red in her wedding dress (something i would never, personally, choose-- but who the heck am i to knock it? i mean, she's asking me what i think about it for HER and for me to revert the convo right back to me is a little selfish) so i said that i loved the color red (b/c i do!) and that those dresses are becoming more and more popular (b/c i have been seeing them a lot lately) and she asked, would you wear it? and i said, personally, it's not for me, i'm having my girls wear red to incorporate the color-- but you do what YOU want, it's your wedding! rather than saying, oh god NEVER! red? what is this? valentine's day? or something like that-- you are saying the same thing in essence, it's just HOW you say it that makes the difference.

OK, enough with my lecture on Human communications

And it also comes back to did you ASK for an opinion? or are we talking about 'unsolicited advice' (as I like to call it).

Because if you ask for an opinion, then you should be prepared for just that... OTHER people's opinions.

But agreed... delivery is VERY important.

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Posted by kismet8601

Personally-I have to say i think it depends on WHO the criticism is coming. I know that certain things I find a waste of money other people may not and vice versa...do i get upset about it-No. But it is also in the way and level of rudeness a person states their opinion.

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TOTALLY agree - criticism is one thing but there's no need to be rude or snide...

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Posted by kittythestray

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Posted by kismet8601

Personally-I have to say i think it depends on WHO the criticism is coming. I know that certain things I find a waste of money other people may not and vice versa...do i get upset about it-No. But it is also in the way and level of rudeness a person states their opinion.

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TOTALLY agree - criticism is one thing but there's no need to be rude or snide...

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There's a fine line between 'in my opinion' or 'personally' and being mean. There are a few people here who prefer mean/rude/arrogant over being nice. I see things all the time that I think are nice but are NOT my style...unless directly asked for MY opinion I usually leave it at the fact that I think the dress is nice...not that I would not be caught dead in it...even if that's the case.

eta-there are some really adorable dresses with color. i didn't wear one, but only because the ones i saw weren't the SHAPE-style i wanted.

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Posted by CLMon7906

I see things all the time that I think are nice but are NOT my style...unless directly asked for MY opinion I usually leave it at the fact that I think the dress is nice...not that I would not be caught dead in it...even if that's the case.

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Agreed. If I don't have something positive to add to the post, then I usually leave it alone. Especially when it comes to someone's OWN ideas. But there are people out there that will add their two cents to anything, both good AND bad.

I can handle it if someone has a different opinion than me on something ~ although I am kind of on the sensitive side and if someone says it in a not so nice way then I might be upset ~ I have realized everyone has there own opinions there is this lady I work with that is VERY opinionated and she always asks me about my wedding plans etc... when I have told her things she has made faces or says what she thinks is the 'right' way to do things... example I was thinking of wearing an ivory wedding dress and she flipped a lid saying I should only wear White etc... anyhow my point being is I think there is a way to talk to someone and let the other person know you opinion in a nice way without being critical or judgemental.

Hell yes - we were criticized for having it on a Saturday morning (a Jewish wedding no less!)

and other things - please....

i think there are factors involved...

who says it, how they say it, and if it was 'unsolicited'

if my supervisor at work says she likes or dislikes something i've commented about for my wedding, it just rolls right off. if it's my cousins (who are my bridal party) then i'll take a minute to consider where they are coming from.

as far as the opinions of others in a forum setting like this goes... it's a little different. many times we ask questions looking for validation from another bride-to-be. if it's something that you're sensitive about, i could see how someone could get hurt if she doesn't get the validation she was looking for.

i'll put myself as the example. i posted a question, that i kind of knew the answer to, but was hoping to hear some sympathy for the decision i had to make (which in the scheme of things is a minor detail), i didn't hear EXACTLY what i wanted to hear. i was a little sad AT THE MOMENT, and then got over it QUICKLY because i asked the question already knowing what was the right thing to do.

so... in conclusion of my thesis... there are determining factors.... the GIVER of the opinion and his/her connection to you, the MANNER in which the opinion is given, and if it is SOLICITED OR UNSOLICITED.

boy, can i type a lot when my boss is out of the office

I definatly can... everyone has their own opinions, as do I of course and noone will ever be the same. That's why we're UNIQUE individuals! I do things how I want them, if you don't like it, don't do it for your own wedding! It irks me when people get into defense mode about this kinda thing... So silly!!

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Posted by rojerono

So we all have our own opinions about what is reasonable and what is classy and what is silly and what is elegant... blah blah blah We all are adults and realize that YOUR idea of a dream wedding is NOT necessarily everyone's idea of a dream wedding.

And yet.. people get SO defensive.

So be honest... when you see someone who says something that might show a different opinion than yours - does it truly upset you?

For example... my wedding dress has color in it. My girlfriend told me that she thought that was just not very bridal and that she doesn't like it. I did not burst into tears I just said 'Well coming from someone wearing that shirt... I can't expect anything else!' Then we both laughed.

Can you HONESTLY handle the slightest criticism when it comes to your wedding?

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i think a little color in dress is great. u r showing your own personality and being your own person. and let me tell u. people r gonna luv the dress and who will have egg on there face then???