How many brides out there are keeping thier last names when they get married? I've had my name for almost 22 years and I don't feel the need to give it up. FH is not thrilled, but he knows that there's no way I'd ever give up my name, especially for a misogynistic tradition. Are any of you keeping your last name? How does FH feel? Have you discussed what last name your kids will take? How will you let people know? We were thinking of putting in a little card in the invitation like an 'at home' card that clearly says 'Mr. Groom Groomsname and Mrs. bride Bridesname will be at home at..' or just 'After the wedding, the couple will be known as 'Mr Groom Groomsname and Mrs. Bride Bridesname?' What do you think? What kinds of challenges are you facing?
nov2004bride
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am taking FI last name. I don't care how long I have been with this last name. I am a traditional person and I do not look at it as an equality issue. In my opinion, it seems more like a family to share a last name. I feel it is strange that women do not take there husbands last name. Just seems cold and weird to me. JMO Somethings can get out of hand.
mcc101
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am definately hyphenating (sp?) - I have a long last name and so does my FI but I don't care...but professionally I am using my maiden name. Professionally I prefer to use Ms. rather than Mrs. but I am sure people will know I am married by the ring on my finger!
Edited to add: In Italy (Both mine and FI ethnic background) married women keep and use their maiden name.
wenndypoo
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I feel it is strange that women do not take there husbands last name. Just seems cold and weird to me. JMO Somethings can get out of hand.
I feel that way about changing my name! I see no point to it really. It is not some romantic gesture, the custom dates back to the days when women were property. You changed your name so people knew who who you belonged to. ICK!! Now THATS cold and weird!
NYCHICK
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Posted by nov2004bride
I am taking FI last name. I don't care how long I have been with this last name. I am a traditional person and I do not look at it as an equality issue. In my opinion, it seems more like a family to share a last name. I feel it is strange that women do not take there husbands last name. Just seems cold and weird to me. JMO Somethings can get out of hand.
I absolutely agree. I am sure there are many traditions that did not start out nicely but it is a different time and different world, especiallly in America. No one looks at it that way. Not changing your name for business reasons is completely logical, but because of some EXTREMELY old tradition, that is defintely weird.
shawl
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Actually, there are some cultures (e.g., where my dad is from in South Asia) where it would be very strange for a woman to take her husband's name, since the names are 'gendered.' For example, think of a world where only women were named 'Smith' and only men were named 'Jones.' So it would be weird to meet a woman named 'Jones,' b/c everyone would know it was a man's name. Tradition is very relative!
sandj100304
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I will be changing to FH's last name. I like mine better and have gotten used to it after 29 years but I feel that taking his name really makes us one. I know the traditional meaning of it but feel that times are different now and it has a new meaning.
nsgraham
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Posted by nov2004bride Just seems cold and weird to me. JMO Somethings can get out of hand.
Okay, I don't see how this is 'cold and weird.' Do what you want, but don't make assumptions about anyone else's relationship or lives based on this one thing. And how is it getting 'out of hand'? It's a woman's right to choose what she wants to do with her name, and most do choose to make some form of change. But some of us don't want to, and it doesn't mean that we or our relationships are 'cold and weird,' or that our families are any less than real, complete families.
JuneBride2005
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
It's a woman's right to choose what she wants to do with her name, and most do choose to make some form of change. But some of us don't want to, and it doesn't mean that we or our relationships are 'cold and weird,' or that our families are any less than real, complete families.
I totally agree. I think it is very common today to keep your name, and regardless of whether or not it has become common, it is a personal choice that should not be judged. I am going to legally make my last name my middle name (first middle middle new last)...and yes it is possible to do that the post that was asking ). It definitely doesn't make you any less of a family if you choose to keep your last name for whatever the reason! And it certainly is not 'cold and weird'!
marymoon
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Is it 'cold and weird' for a groom to not take his bride's name?
No one says thebguy is going to far by inistin on his own name. it's just tradition. I think it's really unequal. I don't judge people who do it. I think it makes it easier, but I just can't do it myself. I'm just worried about what the kids' last names would be, etc. I love my FH very very much. I just wouldn't change my name for anyone. Most guys would probably say they same thing. They love their FW, but wouldn't change their name.
chmpgnrose
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I was happy to take on my new husband's name. I wanted and was very happy to start a new chapter in my life: new husband, new housing, new furniture, new name. I wanted to start my new chapter in life with a clean slate. To me it's an honor to carry DH's name.
JimmysBride
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I would have liked to keep my name or even come up with an entirely new name made up of a combination of both our names that we both took on. But, this was too important to FH. He would have been extremely upset if I didn't take his name. It very common in my family for everyone to take on their husband's name so it's not weird to me. It's also not as important to me to keep my last name as it is to him for me to change it. I don't feel like I will be losing any part of my identity, but I do feel that it wraps up the whole family thing nicely for everyone to have the same last name.
BriBri529
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I may keep my last name professionally, might not. I am definitely taking FH name, not hyphenating, but may make my maiden name my middle name . . . not really sure. I know to some extent I am attached to my maiden name and would like to somehow keep it, but I have a greater desire to take FH name.
nov2004bride
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
In reference to the post that said do not make assumptions about anyone else's relationship or lives based on this one thing, it is an opinion. That's it! No need to get so upset. No harm was ment.
Everything is an opinion. Do not take offense. Everyone is allowed to post their OPINION. Thank you!
Spot12905
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am going to take his name. I dont even like his last name but i am going to take it. I was thinking about put the names together.
violet
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am going to keep my name until next January. Tax guy said if I wait till then to change it, we won't have to file our taxes together. You get more money when you do it separately.
MCDO15
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Posted by violet
I am going to keep my name until next January. Tax guy said if I wait till then to change it, we won't have to file our taxes together. You get more money when you do it separately.
i was told differently...maybe your situation is different like tax bracket and deductables.
We get are taxes done in March, we get married next March and plan to use some refund money towards wedding.
Lorena
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Posted by MCDO15
Posted by violet
I am going to keep my name until next January. Tax guy said if I wait till then to change it, we won't have to file our taxes together. You get more money when you do it separately.
i was told differently...maybe your situation is different like tax bracket and deductables.
We get are taxes done in March, we get married next March and plan to use some refund money towards wedding.
Yeah, as an accountant I can say with no reservation, if you are legally married, meaning you have a marriage licence, you cannot file single for the year in which you were married. Your name has nothing to do with it. However, some accountants like to bend the rules.
violet
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Yeah, mine is bending the rules. He said as long as name isn't changed until January, my old one will come under my social security number for this year. Shhhh, didn't hear it from me.
akanini
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Posted by nferrandi
I'm happily taking FH's last name. I love my last name and am ridiculously close to my family, but I feel that FH and I are going to be our own family and should have one name. QUOTE]
TOTALLY AGREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
steph4777
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am taking his last name. I was thinking about using my last name as my middle name (I hate my middle name) after the wedding. Hyphenating is not an option bc way too long - 16 letters.
