How many brides out there are keeping thier last names when they get married? I've had my name for almost 22 years and I don't feel the need to give it up. FH is not thrilled, but he knows that there's no way I'd ever give up my name, especially for a misogynistic tradition. Are any of you keeping your last name? How does FH feel? Have you discussed what last name your kids will take? How will you let people know? We were thinking of putting in a little card in the invitation like an 'at home' card that clearly says 'Mr. Groom Groomsname and Mrs. bride Bridesname will be at home at..' or just 'After the wedding, the couple will be known as 'Mr Groom Groomsname and Mrs. Bride Bridesname?' What do you think? What kinds of challenges are you facing?
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
i didnt want to change mine and went back and forth about it but it was very important to my dh and he would have been crushed if i didnt so i decided to change.
btrflygrl
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
no...according to him there are too many 'Smith's' (my last name) in the world and not enough of his last name (plus he's the only boy and the youngest)
nferrandi
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I'm happily taking FH's last name. I love my last name and am ridiculously close to my family, but I feel that FH and I are going to be our own family and should have one name. I think my dad was actually a little disappointed, since he has no boys, but ultimately he understands. I could never hyphenate because both of our names are Italian and my last name would just be too many syllables, with too many vowels. lol!
BellaBella
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Posted by nferrandi
I'm happily taking FH's last name. I love my last name and am ridiculously close to my family, but I feel that FH and I are going to be our own family and should have one name.
I agree with you.
AndreaLMT
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I'm keeping my last name professionally, & also b/c I like my last name, it's a part of who I am that I don't want to part with . I'll use his last name for return address labels, when we're being introduced, etc... (here is Mr. & Mrs. so & so) just to keep it easy. My FH agrees I should keep my name, in fact, HE wants to change HIS last name hehe!!!
aliciahelene
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Yeah, Im hypehnated, Ill be my maiden name for work, but married name for everything else
MrsTC
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I changed mine at work and so have a few other recent newlyweds at my job...and no one has had any trouble adjusting to calling us by our new last names! In fact, I feel funny even saying my maiden name now on occassion because I always go by Jennifer C*** now.
ThongLori
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I think I'm dropping my arbitrary middle name (it has no meaning) and moving maiden to the middle name, then taking FH's last name. I too like the idea of 'sounding' like a family!
jannshari
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I'm keeping my last name for professional purposes only, as it was the name that I graduated with, passed the Bar exams with, have established a reputation with, etc. However, I will be using FH's last name in every other aspect, including on my paychecks (for SS purposes), so it might get a little confusing, but only for people in payroll.
His last name is a lot longer than mine and harder to pronounce because of the spelling, even though it's not an odd last name, but people still have trouble pronouncing it. My last name now is 5 letters and one syllable. Much easier for clients to deal with and remember.
However, I want the same last name as my children and will be proud to be referred to as Mrs. E...
AtticaQT
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I have been struggling with this - i dont know what to do - i want to keep my name professionally - but then that means i cant change my name to FH - even though i want to use FH name socially - i dont plan on working for more than 6 years - we are going to try to have kids then and i want to be a stay at home mom - so that is why i want to use my name - since i have worked so hard to get to the point I am at now...I dunno - still pondering about this
AtticaQT
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Posted by jannshari
I'm keeping my last name for professional purposes only, as it was the name that I graduated with, passed the Bar exams with, have established a reputation with, etc. However, I will be using FH's last name in every other aspect, including on my paychecks (for SS purposes), so it might get a little confusing, but only for people in payroll.
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Can I do that? Because i will graduate with and pass my bar exam with my maiden name - and want to use my name professionally - does tha tmean you changing your name for SS and yoru passport - but just keeping your maiden name for work (on letterhead)?? HELP!
jannshari
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Why can't you change your name to his? In NY, you can do both. You can legally change your name to his and still use your maiden name for certain things - as long as you are not doing so to defraud someone or commit a crime, you are allowed to use as many names as you want.
ETA: we posted at the same time. Yes, you can absolutely do that. You will be legally changing your last name to his for tax, SS, social, family purposes, etc., but you can still use your maiden name professionally.
razz1031
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I'm taking his name. He has a beautiful Italian last name and I can't wait to have it!!!
AtticaQT
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
Posted by jannshari
Why can't you change your name to his? In NY, you can do both. You can legally change your name to his and still use your maiden name for certain things - as long as you are not doing so to defraud someone or commit a crime, you are allowed to use as many names as you want.
ETA: we posted at the same time. Yes, you can absolutely do that. You will be legally changing your last name to his for tax, SS, social, family purposes, etc., but you can still use your maiden name professionally.
THANK YOU!!! That is so perfect!
jannshari
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
There you go - one less thing on your mind!
marymoon
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I would love it if he'd take my name! hee he But really I don't thik anyone should be expected to sacrifice his/her identity. if you're doing it for the sake of fmaily, I understand that, it's just that...why is it alwyas the guy's name? historicall and traditionally it's because a woman becomes property upon her marriage. I know it doens't explicitly mean that today, but I really wish there were a path for equality. It's just so hard to pick hat the kids' last names will be. he's really bent on the kids having his last name, he's also the youngest male, the only one to carry on the name, so to speak, but I don't think they'll run out of his name very soon. It's quite popular.
wenndypoo
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am keeping my name also. I've had it for 33 years, I can't imagine changing it! It's who I am. FI is not totally okay with it, but he wn't change his lst name for me, so he can't say too much.
janet
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
up untill i got out liceance i wan ot sure.. and still have the feeing i want to go back and change it! i did write down his last name but i am still not sure .. i like my spanish last name and his is italin.... that is not the only reason either... his last name is a famous city in florida..can you guess? it's orlando! orlando from rivera is well alittle hard. i was thinkinf of compaining the last names and making one whole new one tell me what you thing... rivlando.. nah how about rivando.. oh well i guess i am stuck with orlando..
JuneBride2005
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am very attached to my last name and like it better than my fh's but he really wants me to change it...and I do want to have the same last name as my children. I think I will be making it my middle name so I don't totally lose it!
hbradio
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Re: Any bride keeping her name?
I am changing mine to his BUT I think I am going to legally change my entire name so that my maiden name is a second middle name. Not a hyphen though. Is that possible?
