Any recommendations on how...

...to tell my FMIL she has to cut a few guests?

Or a nice way to say she has to fork over the money for anyone past the fifty people mark?

I'm not a friggin money tree and I have never even met Aunt Estelle from Boca.


Edited because my iPad auto corrected 'fifty' to 'dirty' and I didn't read before posting. It was pretty funny. You should've been there.

Any recommendations on how...

Explain to her that you're working with a budget and you can't afford that many extra people. My mom has 20 friends she wants to invite. Fmil has 10 so I told my mother she has to cut ten or pay for them. She's paying for them instead.

Any recommendations on how...

I think it's a great idea to give her the option to pay for the extra folks. It's so tough to justify spending 100-200/pp for people you've never even met before!!

Edited to correct star to extra :) oops!

Any recommendations on how...

My parents and FIL are contributing to the wedding, but also expect that with that comes the right to invite whomever they want. Well, I don't exactly want their best friends cousin's girlfriend coming to my wedding, I'd like to know the majority of the people there. And also, if MY friends who aren't dating anyone aren't invited with a guest, why should theirs?

I have told each of them that they can invite whomever they want. But because of our budget, anyone who causes us to go over the set budget we have agreed on, they will have to cover (in addition to the generous amounts they are each contributing already).

It may seem harsh, but it has to be said, and I believe in being straightforward and dealing with situations head on. Being 'nice' isn't going to get you anywhere, or it's going to cause resentment on your part.

Try just explaining that you have created a budget, and the budget allows for her to have 50 guests. If she decides to invite more than that, you would appreciate her help in contributing to covering their plates. If she chooses not to contribute, you have the right to tell her no.

Any recommendations on how...

We are giving our parents 'X' amount of invites. If they want to invite more, they are paying for them.

Any recommendations on how...

i would just tell her flat out and be like look- you get this amount of invites...if you want more than that you need to give me the money FIRST then you get the invites- always get the money first- people say they will pay and then never really do!!!!

Any recommendations on how...

Hmmm this might be a touchy subject, and while I definitely think you should talk to her about it, I think that saying it gently might give you better results. Unless something in your relationship has already taken place and there's a point of no return, you might not want to start out your relationship on the wrong foot. First, FH should definitely be on the same page, and maybe even handle the talking. Second, I would approach it like this. 'Weddings are a lot more expensive and involved than we originally thought, and while we wish we could invite everyone, financially it would be very irresponsible for us to start off this way. Would it be possible for you to cut your guests to X number of people and then have X number of backups if there's room?' HTH!

Edited for spelling!

Any recommendations on how...

OMG ALYSSA! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the 'very irresponsible' part. It shows that it's not trying to be nasty, but trying to be financially aware. Brilliant!

Thanks everyone for your responses. It seems as though I will have to tackle this with extra care.

Any recommendations on how...

So glad I could help! That's exactly what I was going for! I always try to approach with caution bc I know I can be overly sensitive so I try and make sure I'm not offending anyone. If you say something like that it just make sense logically that you're not a piggy bank. Good luck, let us know how it goes!

Any recommendations on how...

hmmm, that's a tough one....make FH do it! lol