anybody else upset about losing their last name?

i love my fi to death but i am a little bit sad about losing my last name because, i come from a very italian family and i no longer will have an italian last name. our names are too long to hyphenate. just looking to vent am i being silly or do others feel this way?

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I go through times that I feel that way as well. It's almost like you lose your identity! I've been Jennifer X for so long and now I'm going to be Jennifer Y for the rest of my life. It's weird. Although, I do get a last name people can pronounce!

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I feel the same way. I want to keep my name maybe for work or all together. I have to decide soon. I have had my last name for so long that I dont want to lose it

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I'm excited to be taking a new last name. I'm also going from a nice Italian last name to a nice new Italian last name. I will be moving my maiden name to my middle name since I don't have a middle name by birth. And I'm not planning on hypenating. I doubt I will ever use my maiden name as my middle, but it's just so that I know it's there.

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I was just discussing this with my FH AGAIN! I go back and forth. I think it is so strange to - poof - have a different name. I don't want to change it, but am trying to think of a compromise that will make us both happy. Still haven't come up with one yet

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

if you do figure some thing out let me know, also i might go with the the middle name thing not sure yet

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

My FI and I are thinking of changing both our last names. They are both long/complicated russian names, can't be hyphenated, and his is more cumbersome than mine. So we'll be doing some last name research to change it to something easier to pronounce. I feel a bit bad about loosing my name, but I do have younger brother to continue the family line.

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

This bothers me so much. I don't think you are being silly at all. It is kind of strange to change something I have had for 29 years! I am not changing my name in the office (I have been here almost 7 years and that's how people know me). I wouldn't change it at all but I know how much it would offend my boyfriend. Why can't they take our names?

I am losing my name for an Italian last name. All my life everyone has thought I am Italian and I am 0% Italian .. now I'll have an Italian last name and I don't want it. No one knows what ethnic background/nationality by my current last name is..I kind of like it that way. I know this may sound strange.

I have one other reason but I can't post it in case in-laws are spying on me!

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

i think i know what your other reason is and if im right -im in the same boat- out laws- got to lve them.

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

you are not alone! I love my last name!! I totally love my fh... but his last name is well, lets just say i like mine better.. and his is a totally irish last name, which i do love, but i am 100% spanish... so people will just know that is my married name!!! its not silly.. we were one name our whole life, and now, gone, just like that.. mine is too long to hypenate also, but i figure for work, i will keep my name the same, and just change it for everything else...

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I am not sure if you know...it has more to do with the FSIL than the actual in-laws!

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I really don't have a problem with this too much except for the fact that I refuse to lose my daddy's name. I have a long story behind my life but all I can say is I carried a last name for 20 yrs of my life that had no meaning to me. I couldn't change it sooner b/c legally we are all considered adults at the age of 18. And if I had wanted to change my last name before then, I would have needed consent from my biological father. I changed my last name to my step dad who has been my dad since birth. He did everything and has treated me like his other 'real' daughter and I changed my last name right before I graduated from college so that it would be on my degree. So his last name is very important to me. So I have decided to go with both names. FH would feel really offended if I didn't pick up his last name. Call me old fashioned but to me marriage isn't the same without the couple having the same last name. From when I was 7 yrs old I always wondered why my sis, mom and dad had a different last name and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb in the family. Once I began asking my dad questions he told me the entire story and I understood, as young as I was. But when FH and I have children, I don't want my children questioning why they have a different last name then mommy. I don't want my children to feel confused as I had felt when I was younger. PLUS my daddy's last name is so bizarre and interesting, it is the talk of conversation when I meet new people.
I suggest doing what you feel is best in your heart.

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

thanks everyone for your advice, i think that im going to keep the same name for work and change it everywhere else.

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

Antoniette,

I am a happily married woman now, but I dreaded the name change. Primarily, I am Italian and my husband is German - I went from 9 letters in my last name to 7 letters with my total name - first and last! Ugh! Making my last name to my middle name was not an option for me, because my first name is Grandma on my dad's side and my middle name is Grandma on mom's side. So, instead I use my first and middle name now (never used it before) and my husband's last name. Hyphenating was to complicated. At work, since I've been here for 4 years, I'm hypenating, but everywhere else, I'm 'German'! Ha!

But atleast I look Italian!

All the best,
Cira

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I have to be careful too Bridetobe so I know what you mean

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I guess it bothers me especially since i am a professional and worked so hard to get letters after my name and certificates which made my daddy proud that it was his name but then again I cant wait to share the same last name with my FH

Some people have said that it is an old stupid tradition and that no strong woman would allow it.

I happen to disagree with that statement, I am confident in myself as a person that I dont need my name to be me, you are always the same person so I think it is a little dramatised subject IMHO,

I just dont want to be bothered hypehenating and/or explaining to my children why mommy has a different name then them and daddy.

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

I mainly dont want his name because I will sound like my FMIL. She is Mrs. X, and soon I will be MRS. X too. I dont like sounding like her at all!

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

It really did bother me - I love my Irish last name! But since I don't have a middle name, I'm moving my maiden over to my middle, so I won't be losing it entirely!

This seems to be getting more popular!

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

My last name is 13 letters long and real italian and now I am moving to a simple 5 letter last name.....so I am not really upset. I love my last name and all but it will be a heck of a lot easier

Re: anybody else upset about losing their last name?

Why change your name if you are upset about 'losing' it?