Anyone else nervous about marriage?

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Posted by CD516

I can totally understand your concerns. No matter what anyone says, marriage is work. I think regardless of how perfect two people can be for each other, its always a challenge to keep things exciting and new and to not let life's everyday struggles tear you apart. I think people have a misconception and are fooling themselves if they think its a big fairytale and they idealize everything. I think that your feelings are just reality and its perfectly ok to be realistic and plan for the future. I remember hearing a really good quote - ' its not supposed to be easy, its supposed to be worth it', and it definitely is. I love being married!!

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marriage is absolutely work and i think that is a great quote! i love it!

i totally hear you on this one. I love my FH, he was my first true love, my first kiss my first heartbreak. We were best friends for a long time before we dated, we have been through ups and downs and have made it through - only strengthening our relationship.

its sooo important to understand that a marriage is going to be hard at times but that is part of the growing of two people married as one. It is how we deal with the issues, the ups and downs that will determine our future.

there were times in our relationship that family and friends totally doubted us. we worked our way through issues and now we are 51 days away from our wedding day.

On the days that im mad or frustrated, I think of my life without him and wonder if I could exist. I think oh my mom who lost my dad after 30 years of marriage and it breaks my heart. Thats how I know its meant to be - its worth the struggles and the ups and memories and the promise of building a future is the payout in the end...

Dont feel alone - just take everything one day at a time.

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Posted by CD516

I can totally understand your concerns. No matter what anyone says, marriage is work. I think regardless of how perfect two people can be for each other, its always a challenge to keep things exciting and new and to not let life's everyday struggles tear you apart. I think people have a misconception and are fooling themselves if they think its a big fairytale and they idealize everything. I think that your feelings are just reality and its perfectly ok to be realistic and plan for the future. I remember hearing a really good quote - ' its not supposed to be easy, its supposed to be worth it', and it definitely is. I love being married!!

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Ok thank you Christina I aboslutely love this!

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Posted by emomma17

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Posted by CD516

I can totally understand your concerns. No matter what anyone says, marriage is work. I think regardless of how perfect two people can be for each other, its always a challenge to keep things exciting and new and to not let life's everyday struggles tear you apart. I think people have a misconception and are fooling themselves if they think its a big fairytale and they idealize everything. I think that your feelings are just reality and its perfectly ok to be realistic and plan for the future. I remember hearing a really good quote - ' its not supposed to be easy, its supposed to be worth it', and it definitely is. I love being married!!

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Ok thank you Christina I aboslutely love this!

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Love that too. The quote is awesome!

I totally know the feeling though. I am married now and I actually try not to look ahead and only worry about the here and now. I worry about today and being happy with DH today and tomorrow. We will deal with things as they come about (as we already have). All I can say is I am in tis 110% and am ready to be a good wife, totally committed and devoted and will work through anything that comes our way.

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Posted by emomma17

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

I'm not nervous at all about getting married to FH, I am more nervous about whether or not I am going to be a good wife. I am hoping we can keep that spark alive and still do romantic things and go out to dinner's and just cuddle with each other. I hope we dont get caught up in the adult world that we forget about all those things and just focus on paying the bills and stuff.

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YESSSS this is what is terrifying to me too. I am that person though that will do all those things and try. FH is great but he lacks a little in that department, the whole if it ain't broke don't fix it thing. I hate when things get complacent and mundane!!! I just don't want to lose what we have now...

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I dont want to lose what we have now either but then again I have been with FH for 10 years and we still do these things. I am just hoping that the everyday stresses of life dont put out the flame if you know what I mean. I want to keep things new and I want to do spur of the moment things and just be able to enjoy life together. I think we will all be fine, we just have to remember that its not going to be peaches and cream everyday

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

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Posted by emomma17

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

I'm not nervous at all about getting married to FH, I am more nervous about whether or not I am going to be a good wife. I am hoping we can keep that spark alive and still do romantic things and go out to dinner's and just cuddle with each other. I hope we dont get caught up in the adult world that we forget about all those things and just focus on paying the bills and stuff.

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YESSSS this is what is terrifying to me too. I am that person though that will do all those things and try. FH is great but he lacks a little in that department, the whole if it ain't broke don't fix it thing. I hate when things get complacent and mundane!!! I just don't want to lose what we have now...

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I dont want to lose what we have now either but then again I have been with FH for 10 years and we still do these things. I am just hoping that the everyday stresses of life dont put out the flame if you know what I mean. I want to keep things new and I want to do spur of the moment things and just be able to enjoy life together. I think we will all be fine, we just have to remember that its not going to be peaches and cream everyday

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Yes this is true...but I love peaches and cream! Thanks for hearing me out today ladies, it's one of those days!

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Posted by emomma17

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

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Posted by emomma17

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

I'm not nervous at all about getting married to FH, I am more nervous about whether or not I am going to be a good wife. I am hoping we can keep that spark alive and still do romantic things and go out to dinner's and just cuddle with each other. I hope we dont get caught up in the adult world that we forget about all those things and just focus on paying the bills and stuff.

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YESSSS this is what is terrifying to me too. I am that person though that will do all those things and try. FH is great but he lacks a little in that department, the whole if it ain't broke don't fix it thing. I hate when things get complacent and mundane!!! I just don't want to lose what we have now...

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I dont want to lose what we have now either but then again I have been with FH for 10 years and we still do these things. I am just hoping that the everyday stresses of life dont put out the flame if you know what I mean. I want to keep things new and I want to do spur of the moment things and just be able to enjoy life together. I think we will all be fine, we just have to remember that its not going to be peaches and cream everyday

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Yes this is true...but I love peaches and cream! Thanks for hearing me out today ladies, it's one of those days!

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No worries. We all have the days where we stress over it. It's normal and part of life. You and FH will be fine! Just keep communication open and enjoy the ride. There is a great quote that says 'Life is not the destination, it's the journey'.....enjoy it!

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Posted by emomma17

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Posted by CD516

I can totally understand your concerns. No matter what anyone says, marriage is work. I think regardless of how perfect two people can be for each other, its always a challenge to keep things exciting and new and to not let life's everyday struggles tear you apart. I think people have a misconception and are fooling themselves if they think its a big fairytale and they idealize everything. I think that your feelings are just reality and its perfectly ok to be realistic and plan for the future. I remember hearing a really good quote - ' its not supposed to be easy, its supposed to be worth it', and it definitely is. I love being married!!

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Ok thank you Christina I aboslutely love this!

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i love that quote as well...and i love what you said too Christina!!!

Although I completely understand how everyone feels this way, because I do at times...I think for me I think more about today and tomorrow...not so far into the future. FH always tells me at 50 we are going to still be head over heels for each other and just like we were when we were 23!!

but i am always thinking about NOW. For some reason I make myself crazy especially since FH is in Iraq. I just think about how it's going to be when he comes home and we move in together and how great it's going to be to actually have him home forever!! that drives me more crazy and nervous than anything else for some reason. But I cannot wait for it either. The wedding could be here and gone by tomorrow and I would be fine...it's actually having him home that makes me nervous because we will live together and always be with each other ....he doesn't leave anymore after 2 weeks of having him around etc. Which is going to be such a great feeling but I get nervous he will get sick of me haha

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Posted by Jenn04

Also - I wanted to say that I have fears about being a mom....getting/being pregnant, raising a child, taking care of dinner and the house...etc, etc.

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same here - sometimes i want to have a baby and other times i dont think that i ever want kids - i used to say that i couldnt wait to have children and a family but now that im getting older and actually getting married im getting more nervous about actually having children - one day im sure - but it freaks me out! i used to say id like to be done having kids before 30 - but i really dont see that happening anymore.....that means being done having kids in 6 years - no way!

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Posted by Jenn04

Also - I wanted to say that I have fears about being a mom....getting/being pregnant, raising a child, taking care of dinner and the house...etc, etc.

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I always get nervous about that stuff..... I always think how are we going to be able to afford a baby if I stop working and then on the flip side how am I going to work if I have a baby. Then I think will I be a good mom or what's going to happen to me when I'm pregnant....you can go on and on worrying about the what if's. I think we all just need to relax and take things one day at a time and enjoy every minute of the wedding and marriage and everything that comes with it. As long as you are willing to work at the marriage it will work.

Im not at that point of fearing marriage yet...same concerns about keeping it fresh and exciting and having FH understand that we will have bad times....

My aunt said it best..she has been married almost 50 years.. she said:

'There will be YEARS that you are madly in love with eachother and YEARS that you HATE eachother.. It's making it through those 'hate' years by knowing that the madly in love year is around the corner '

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Posted by wifetobe

Im not at that point of fearing marriage yet...same concerns about keeping it fresh and exciting and having FH understand that we will have bad times....

My aunt said it best..she has been married almost 50 years.. she said:

'There will be YEARS that you are madly in love with eachother and YEARS that you HATE eachother.. It's making it through those 'hate' years by knowing that the madly in love year is around the corner '

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You aunt is a smart woman, thats great.

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

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Posted by wifetobe

Im not at that point of fearing marriage yet...same concerns about keeping it fresh and exciting and having FH understand that we will have bad times....

My aunt said it best..she has been married almost 50 years.. she said:

'There will be YEARS that you are madly in love with eachother and YEARS that you HATE eachother.. It's making it through those 'hate' years by knowing that the madly in love year is around the corner '

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You aunt is a smart woman, thats great.

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I loved that!! When she told me I said 'YEARS????' she's like 'yes my dear..YEARS'!!!

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Posted by wifetobe

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Posted by Soon2beMrsC

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Posted by wifetobe

Im not at that point of fearing marriage yet...same concerns about keeping it fresh and exciting and having FH understand that we will have bad times....

My aunt said it best..she has been married almost 50 years.. she said:

'There will be YEARS that you are madly in love with eachother and YEARS that you HATE eachother.. It's making it through those 'hate' years by knowing that the madly in love year is around the corner '

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You aunt is a smart woman, thats great.

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I loved that!! When she told me I said 'YEARS????' she's like 'yes my dear..YEARS'!!!

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I am still nervous about it it is hard. and sometimes DH does something and I wonder what I got myself into it. But a few minutes later he will remind me why I married him in the first place.

But its hard, and its wonderful, but also hard

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Posted by ant n tilde

I am still nervous about it it is hard. and sometimes DH does something and I wonder what I got myself into it. But a few minutes later he will remind me why I married him in the first place.

But its hard, and its wonderful, but also hard

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omg tilde its SO funny you said that - last time FH and i argued i was thinking to myself 'what am i getting myself into' (b/c whenever my mom fights with my dad she always says to me, make sure you know what you are getting yourself into - and she says it half joking bc my dad can drive her nuts! ) but i NEVER thought of that before until about a week ago when we argued - i was like oh noooo im turning into my mom! and what AM i getting myself into?

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Posted by Future Mulligan

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Posted by ant n tilde

I am still nervous about it it is hard. and sometimes DH does something and I wonder what I got myself into it. But a few minutes later he will remind me why I married him in the first place.

But its hard, and its wonderful, but also hard

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omg tilde its SO funny you said that - last time FH and i argued i was thinking to myself 'what am i getting myself into' (b/c whenever my mom fights with my dad she always says to me, make sure you know what you are getting yourself into - and she says it half joking bc my dad can drive her nuts! ) but i NEVER thought of that before until about a week ago when we argued - i was like oh noooo im turning into my mom! and what AM i getting myself into?

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Example: DH left his GODSON'S baptism party . . . to go buy Madden for XBOX!!!!! I mean he wasn't gone long but still, who does that?!

your husband does that!