Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I want kids..and I want them to be healthy and happy...and I want my relationship to stay just the way it is now...and yeah I want a house..but thats it..I am not one for the Long Island lifestyle...we are moving out of state in 2 years
greta
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
it depends on what you consider 'the american dream.' i think the american dream is more about the opportunities this country provides and the chance to go as far as your goals, dreams and abilities take you.
this:
middle aged women with these plastic bodies and fake boobs and diamonds everywhere and rhinestone jeans....
just sounds like a bunch of disturbed people who belong on dr. 90210
kittythestray
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
We get 'beat up on' all the time because we're not having kids... We just want each other and live in our little cottage on the beach.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Well - I want kids, and I would love a dog - just not the picket fence and the - what - 2.5 kids... etc - also, I guess what it represents to me is just people all about the exterior and nothing inside -and fighting like hell not to look old... I mean- i want to always look good, but when I'm 40, i want to look healthy, beautiful, and 40 - not like I am fighting it every step...
kittythestray
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Well - I want kids, and I would love a dog - just not the picket fence and the - what - 2.5 kids... etc - also, I guess what it represents to me is just people all about the exterior and nothing inside -and fighting like hell not to look old... I mean- i want to always look good, but when I'm 40, i want to look healthy, beautiful, and 40 - not like I am fighting it every step...
I know what you mean, I'm proud to be getting older and since my FH IS over 40, I'm proud that he is just healthy and 'natural' (or BALD you could say... LOL) I love him just the way he is... I hate when you see older women trying to look and dress like teenagers, or getting surgery... I guess the media doesn't help!
kittythestray
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Oh, yeah, and we'll always be poor.... but we'll have a LOT of love!
johnsae
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
well, all i know is i just don't want to be 'that woman' in the grocery store with sweatpants on and 4 kids screaming at the top of their lungs - looking haggered and unhappy......that is the part of 'the dream' that i don't want to happen to me. i think i prefer to have small family - 2 kids max...more than that just scares me.
not sure if this really answers the question you posed, but it just got me thinking
ZuzusPetals
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
You know what - I dont need a lot in life to be happy. I want to own a home because god knows I've been bumped around to a milion different places; living with friends, family members etc. I want security. However, I am not impressed by money, fancy cars, etc. I want a comfortable home, a place where I can live for many many years, and as fas as spending my money - I would much rather spend funds on family vacations than a new BMW. That type of lifestyle does not appeal to me. However, some people its important to. For instance, when I posted that I was going to have my reception at the Knights of Columbus I received very surprised and not so supportive remarks. BUT I want to have a wonderful wedding celebration with ALL of my friends and family (hall holds over 300 people and is very nice) without starting a new marriage in debt. I have seen first hand how money or lack there of can ruin marriages and I decided when it comes to my wedding day I need to keep things in perspective.
Please I am not knocking anyone who is spending major $$$$ and having lavish affairs at all. If you can afford it than more power to you. Regretfully, I know many people who spend major bucks to impress people and that is a shame.
As far as plastic surgery, that is not my cup of tea but the pressure to be 'perfect' is so absurd. I cant help but feel a little insecure at times wth my curvy figure and all BUT I know I would never ever alter my body through the use of surgery. I do feel bad for the people who feel they need to have implants, botox, lipo and such to be happy because we all know that surgey doesnt fix anything.
WOW this was long lol but I neeeded it after I was MIA for a few days.
To the point: I totally am with you on this
eden
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I totally agree with you, won't want to get to that state where the 'peer' pressure to look good and make loads of money is more important than what's real - developing real relationships, not impressing others with how much you make and just plain trying to outdo your neighbors. The catching up to the Jone's syndrome...
Having the American dream is great because it gives you aspirations to do well financially so your children and you would be able to live comfortably. But sometimes people just lose sight of how much is enough...
mylove
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
America breeds this type of society where youth is the ultimate in beauty. Therefore we have this disgusting plastic surgery domination. If and when you ever go to Europe, look around at the older women, they are beautiful, natural, confident, and able to feel secure in their years. This is because (at least I have found) most European societies emphasize beauty in many forms, not just the young-tight skinned kind. It is important to not let 'societal norms' dictate your happiness, because they are not always the best route. It is wonderful to be an individual and a free thinker
Soon2BeMrsD
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
i want MY dream...im moving out of the 5 boros cpouple years after we get married and moving either upstate or northern jersey, ideally i would love to move to NC but FH is wary since we will be so far from family...i want a house with nice sized land so i dont have people looking in my window all the time...which is why im moving out of here because i cant see spending ridiculous money for no land or anything...i do want children, when i have them i would like to be a stay at home mom to raise them...i dont care about a brand new expensive car...i dont care about plastic surgery,, i want a whole lotta love in my life
Nina
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by johnsae
well, all i know is i just don't want to be 'that woman' in the grocery store with sweatpants on and 4 kids screaming at the top of their lungs - looking haggered and unhappy......that is the part of 'the dream' that i don't want to happen to me. i think i prefer to have small family - 2 kids max...more than that just scares me.
not sure if this really answers the question you posed, but it just got me thinking
I must say I kind of agree.
But I also think there's a fine line.
I want a house one day, I want to be happy. I want to look and feel good.
I think if I over wrinkle or my boobs sag...I might nip and tuck here and there. But I'd never take it to the point of looking like a Joan Rivers. I guess, like she said above, I don't want life and kids to make me one of those women who just doesn't love herself anymore or take time for themselves. I don't think its selfish at all to care what you look like or put some time into yourself...but again...there is a fine line where you can cross.
I definitely agree with ZuzusPetals when it comes to comfort. I do want a happy life, filled with love, kids, soccer games....
But I still want to have a hot romantic date with my man, go out with the girls and have martinis..and be able to feel good about myself.....
I guess what I'm saying is..I want the modified Nina version of the Long Island Lifestyle... And dangit if I need some Lypo and thats what makes me happy...so be it!!!!
MrsStefan
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I work in an area of LI that is filled with middle aged woman who sit in the bagel shop/pizza place/local coffee shop all day because their husbands bring in all the dough. Everyone is either driving around in a BMW, mercedes, Tahoe, or Excursion that they can't drive with their noses in the air. I don't consider this to be the American Dream. Don't get me wrong, some woman strive for this lifestyle...I am not one of them. I want a happy and health marriage and happy and healthy kids. I want to be able to buy a house and still be able to take the kids to Carvel or out to dinner without thinking of how I'm going to pay the next oil bill. I want a family who loves and supports one another. I'm a very simple person and I don't need a lot to make me happy.
FH and I plan on moving off the island and down to Florida within the next 5 years or so.
jnrrb
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
The American Dream is not for us. We just want a house and kids and rise them right. But a house on LI, I really don't know how we are going to do it.
Greeneyes8705
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
No, I do not want to be like those women you described. I just want to be always happy with my FH, raise happy, healthy well adjusted children. I want my life to be as stress and drama free as possible. I do not feel the need to be the model wife or the cool mom. I want to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Raising a family and growing old with my husband. Everything else is just extra.
babybug631
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I don't think those women are what I would consider 'The American Dream'. That's far from it.
ssdbk
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
There are parts of it that I want and parts that I don't.
I would never want all of my friends to be cookie cutters of each other!!
jes81276
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I don't think that the 'LI Life' is necessarily shallow and plastic....of course there are many people on LI that represent that, but on the other hand there are many people that just want to live healthy, fulfilling, successful lives.
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by kittythestray
Posted by lipglossjunky73
Well - I want kids, and I would love a dog - just not the picket fence and the - what - 2.5 kids... etc - also, I guess what it represents to me is just people all about the exterior and nothing inside -and fighting like hell not to look old... I mean- i want to always look good, but when I'm 40, i want to look healthy, beautiful, and 40 - not like I am fighting it every step...
I know what you mean, I'm proud to be getting older and since my FH IS over 40, I'm proud that he is just healthy and 'natural' (or BALD you could say... LOL) I love him just the way he is... I hate when you see older women trying to look and dress like teenagers, or getting surgery... I guess the media doesn't help!
I just looked at your profile - he's adorable! My FH is 42 with 2 kids - he wants more though... you are right about the media
