Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I agree with you!!! I am not 'from' LI and they all disgust me---to an extent. I remember when birthday parties were water balloons, cake, ice cream, opening underwear from mom (grr), sleepovers and something you didn't really do until you were 8....my 4 year old has gone to 5 parties that were basically at kiddie catering halls...I mean, what else can you call them? It's ridiculous and now we will have to give her one because she enjoys them and now wants one for her birthday! A friend of mine takes her 5 year old a fresh, warm bagel every Wednesday for lunch! My daughter will have to make due with PB&J...that's just stupid. I will not drive a mini-van no matter what...SUV only because there are so many already on the road that in my tiny car, I can't see *** is going on. Of course, most young adults are moving away because thanks to the middle-aged parents we all have, none of us can afford to live here anymore! Where I grew up, $1800 rent got you a 5BR house or a 3-4BR apt. with a garage and gated security and probably included a few utilities! Insanity.
I'm not really a complainer, but this struck a cord with me! Glad someone else hates the 'li lifestyle' too!
MattsBride
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by jes81276
I don't think that the 'LI Life' is necessarily shallow and plastic....of course there are many people on LI that represent that, but on the other hand there are many people that just want to live healthy, fulfilling, successful lives.
I totally agree! I do not agree that 'The American Dream' is what was described in the original post. The majority of my family lives on LI, as well as many of my friends' families. None of them have ever had plastic surgery. It has always been my dream to live here and have a home here so that I can be near my family and so our children could grow up together. That is my 'American Dream' and although it may have to do with LI, it has nothing to do with anything that was mentioned in the first post. I am going to have to move upstate after the wedding to where my FH works and it is very hard to leave all of my family behind. I will always hope to come back here where all my family is...where I see my brothers and sisters (who all live less than 10 minutes apart) everyday.
I can understand not wanting to be like people who are showy, obsessed with their appearance, and rude, but I think it is a mistake to say that these woman are 'The American Dream.' They probably aren't that happy if they are constantly changing their appearance through plastic surgery. I don't think they are the majority of people on LI.
july06bride
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by jes81276
I don't think that the 'LI Life' is necessarily shallow and plastic....of course there are many people on LI that represent that, but on the other hand there are many people that just want to live healthy, fulfilling, successful lives.
Thank you! I cant understand how so many people are saying that LI is filled with 'plastic' people who are shallow... OF COURSE they are out there, BUT I completely disagree that it is the Long Island Lifestyle...
Greeneyes8705
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by july06bride
Posted by jes81276
I don't think that the 'LI Life' is necessarily shallow and plastic....of course there are many people on LI that represent that, but on the other hand there are many people that just want to live healthy, fulfilling, successful lives.
Thank you! I cant understand how so many people are saying that LI is filled with 'plastic' people who are shallow... OF COURSE they are out there, BUT I completely disagree that it is the Long Island Lifestyle...
Most of the people in my neighborhood are shallow. And almost every area on LI that I've seen is that way too. Its keeping up with the Joneses here. It is SO different in other states. I can't wait to leave LI. Apart from the rising cost of housing, everything here is just getting ridiculous.
Mrs. Powell
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by Nina
Posted by johnsae
well, all i know is i just don't want to be 'that woman' in the grocery store with sweatpants on and 4 kids screaming at the top of their lungs - looking haggered and unhappy......that is the part of 'the dream' that i don't want to happen to me. i think i prefer to have small family - 2 kids max...more than that just scares me.
not sure if this really answers the question you posed, but it just got me thinking
I must say I kind of agree.
But I also think there's a fine line.
I want a house one day, I want to be happy. I want to look and feel good.
I think if I over wrinkle or my boobs sag...I might nip and tuck here and there. But I'd never take it to the point of looking like a Joan Rivers. I guess, like she said above, I don't want life and kids to make me one of those women who just doesn't love herself anymore or take time for themselves. I don't think its selfish at all to care what you look like or put some time into yourself...but again...there is a fine line where you can cross.
I definitely agree with ZuzusPetals when it comes to comfort. I do want a happy life, filled with love, kids, soccer games....
But I still want to have a hot romantic date with my man, go out with the girls and have martinis..and be able to feel good about myself.....
I guess what I'm saying is..I want the modified Nina version of the Long Island Lifestyle... And dangit if I need some Lypo and thats what makes me happy...so be it!!!!
Nina, I certainly agree with you. Nothing beats love and happiness.
BlueTulip
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Member since
Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by july06bride
Posted by jes81276
I don't think that the 'LI Life' is necessarily shallow and plastic....of course there are many people on LI that represent that, but on the other hand there are many people that just want to live healthy, fulfilling, successful lives.
Thank you! I cant understand how so many people are saying that LI is filled with 'plastic' people who are shallow... OF COURSE they are out there, BUT I completely disagree that it is the Long Island Lifestyle...
I totally agree with these girls. There are shallow, plastic people everywhere-not just LI. I moved out of state not too long ago and find it in my new location too. In fact, I have lived in many places, including Europe, and you can certainly find this lifestyle everywhere. I think because LI is so crowded, it just seems more prevalent.
Be careful when throwing around generalizations-especially about LI on and 'LI Weddings' board. You just might insult some folks
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by johnsae
well, all i know is i just don't want to be 'that woman' in the grocery store with sweatpants on and 4 kids screaming at the top of their lungs - looking haggered and unhappy......that is the part of 'the dream' that i don't want to happen to me. i think i prefer to have small family - 2 kids max...more than that just scares me.
not sure if this really answers the question you posed, but it just got me thinking
I NEVER want to look frumpy either, trust me!!!
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by ZuzusPetals
You know what - I dont need a lot in life to be happy. I want to own a home because god knows I've been bumped around to a milion different places; living with friends, family members etc. I want security. However, I am not impressed by money, fancy cars, etc. I want a comfortable home, a place where I can live for many many years, and as fas as spending my money - I would much rather spend funds on family vacations than a new BMW. That type of lifestyle does not appeal to me. However, some people its important to. For instance, when I posted that I was going to have my reception at the Knights of Columbus I received very surprised and not so supportive remarks. BUT I want to have a wonderful wedding celebration with ALL of my friends and family (hall holds over 300 people and is very nice) without starting a new marriage in debt. I have seen first hand how money or lack there of can ruin marriages and I decided when it comes to my wedding day I need to keep things in perspective.
Please I am not knocking anyone who is spending major $$$$ and having lavish affairs at all. If you can afford it than more power to you. Regretfully, I know many people who spend major bucks to impress people and that is a shame.
As far as plastic surgery, that is not my cup of tea but the pressure to be 'perfect' is so absurd. I cant help but feel a little insecure at times wth my curvy figure and all BUT I know I would never ever alter my body through the use of surgery. I do feel bad for the people who feel they need to have implants, botox, lipo and such to be happy because we all know that surgey doesnt fix anything.
WOW this was long lol but I neeeded it after I was MIA for a few days.
To the point: I totally am with you on this
well said, Zuzu... and WHY on earth would anyone EVER want to lipo this cute little butt????
lipglossjunky73
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by BlueTulip
Posted by july06bride
Posted by jes81276
I don't think that the 'LI Life' is necessarily shallow and plastic....of course there are many people on LI that represent that, but on the other hand there are many people that just want to live healthy, fulfilling, successful lives.
Thank you! I cant understand how so many people are saying that LI is filled with 'plastic' people who are shallow... OF COURSE they are out there, BUT I completely disagree that it is the Long Island Lifestyle...
I totally agree with these girls. There are shallow, plastic people everywhere-not just LI. I moved out of state not too long ago and find it in my new location too. In fact, I have lived in many places, including Europe, and you can certainly find this lifestyle everywhere. I think because LI is so crowded, it just seems more prevalent.
Be careful when throwing around generalizations-especially about LI on and 'LI Weddings' board. You just might insult some folks
I was hoping I woudlnt, and from the responses here, it doesnt seem I have... I grew up in NYC, and live in Huntington, where there is a mix of down to earth people, and the really rich... You guys are right - its not about LI - I lived in Vermont, near Shelburne, which easily could be Roslyn or Cold Spring Harbor if you forgot where you were - but LI has always been known from generations past as the place to live the dream - our parents moved from Bklyn here to LI for that dream, and I feel it has gotten out of control in some areas.... Yes, I overgeneralized, but really, from the places I've seen and been involved in, its there....
Summer101
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by jes81276
I don't think that the 'LI Life' is necessarily shallow and plastic....of course there are many people on LI that represent that, but on the other hand there are many people that just want to live healthy, fulfilling, successful lives.
I agree- I don't think you can generalize all people on LI like that- I am the fourth generation living here on LI and none of my family members are fake or plastic. We all work hard and just want to live a nice, family life.
Summer101
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Member since
Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by vixchik
I agree with you!!! I am not 'from' LI and they all disgust me---to an extent. I remember when birthday parties were water balloons, cake, ice cream, opening underwear from mom (grr), sleepovers and something you didn't really do until you were 8....my 4 year old has gone to 5 parties that were basically at kiddie catering halls...I mean, what else can you call them? It's ridiculous and now we will have to give her one because she enjoys them and now wants one for her birthday! A friend of mine takes her 5 year old a fresh, warm bagel every Wednesday for lunch! My daughter will have to make due with PB&J...that's just stupid. I will not drive a mini-van no matter what...SUV only because there are so many already on the road that in my tiny car, I can't see *** is going on. Of course, most young adults are moving away because thanks to the middle-aged parents we all have, none of us can afford to live here anymore! Where I grew up, $1800 rent got you a 5BR house or a 3-4BR apt. with a garage and gated security and probably included a few utilities! Insanity.
I'm not really a complainer, but this struck a cord with me! Glad someone else hates the 'li lifestyle' too!
It is really wrong to generalize everyone like this. All the people I know aren't this way and are hard workers making a life for their families and I dont think it is fair to the many people who care about morals and values and raising a healthy, caring family here on LI like my granparents and parents did.
smara
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I think people are fake and plastic all over - I see a bunch of them in Manhattan...
I never lived in LI except for when I went to college in Garden City - but I think you find snobs where ever you go depending on what kind of neighborhood you live in.
I thought the 'American Dream' was having a good education, job and family. In that case I am living proof of it!!
I just never heard of the American Dream only exisiting in LI.. maybe I dont get out much. I plan on staying in NYC or maybe going to FL - I just love NY too much!!
Goldi1021
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
I think we forget sometimes that NY (and LI in particular) is a very wealthy place and hardly represents the country at large. There are some people (particularly women) here in this area, who feel it necessary to visit the fountain of youth (aka - the plastic surgeon's office) to keep up with the pretty babysitter their husband's ogle (but deny they do ). For each and every one of these women, there is an other woman so desperate for a smile from a man or even jealousy from another woman, that they will go to the lengths of surgery so they feel confident enough to walk out their front door.
Honestly, I am really tired of people knocking plastic surgery. It is not the root of all evil. It doesn't hurt anyone. No, I havent had any yet, but I plan to. I'll let you all guess which part of my body may look different in a few years.
ETA: and if someone wants to look like the CATWOMAN, let her as long as YOU don't have to pay for it.
SeptBride70
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Member since
Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Even though I was offended by what you wrote I am trying to see through that and help you with words of advice, not that I'm an expert, but... I really feel very bad for you that you have such a negative outlook on life and people in general. It's unfair to generalize the idea of the 'American Dream' because everyone's dream is different and unique to who they are. I know people who's dreams are to live in the city in an apartment their whole life and never get married. Or people that want to donate every penny they have to charity. I also know people who just want to travel around the world forever, then I know people who want the picket fence, kids, and two dogs. Of course I know some who have a passion for jewelry so they work hard for their money and decide to spend it on diamonds. The point is, do whatever makes you happy and don't frown upon others unfairly because it happens to differ from what you want in life... it's just going to hurt other people's feelings and is not going to help you in your life and the pursuit of your dreams. Of course be disappointed in people who intentionally hurt others (you can't be happy all the time in this world) but if they want to get their nose fixed because others have poked fun at it their entire lives--then that's their dream. If they want to have a normal size chest because they are as flat as a board and can't get out of training bras as an adult woman--then that's their dream. (Unfortunately, I can relate to that!! LOL) Your dream should be do what makes YOU happy and not to worry about what others are doing because ultimately that doesn't matter in your life. You need to be happy with yourself first in order to really view the world in a positive light. I really hope you find that.
smara
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Member since
Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella I know people who's dreams are to live in the city in an apartment their whole life and never get married. Or people that want to donate every penny they have to charity. I also know people who just want to travel around the world forever, then I know people who want the picket fence, kids, and two dogs. Of course I know some who have a passion for jewelry so they work hard for their money and decide to spend it on diamonds. The point is, do whatever makes you happy and don't frown upon others unfairly because it happens to differ from what you want in life... it's just going to hurt other people's feelings and is not going to help you in your life and the pursuit of your dreams. .....
I like the way you put it.. I think the American Dream is the fact that in America the majority of ppl can choose to live however they feel makes them happy without restrictions like in other countries. My dream was to not live like I had to when I was younger and not be a statistic.. and everday I am thankful that I have suceeded and am living my american dream!!
BTW: I contemplated givng myself some boobs.. but surgery scares me and I get nervous I might end up with lop-sided boobs
SeptBride70
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by smara
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
BTW: I contemplated givng myself some boobs.. but surgery scares me and I get nervous I might end up with lop-sided boobs
OMG me too... I was afraid of my nipples (is that a BAD word?!!) were going to be uneven or hard all the time!!!! LOL I've heard of that happening... plus, my FH would never allow it because he would be too afraid of the complications. So it looks like I'm stuck with pads forever but that's okay, haha.
smara
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Member since
Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Posted by smara
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
BTW: I contemplated givng myself some boobs.. but surgery scares me and I get nervous I might end up with lop-sided boobs
OMG me too... I was afraid of my nipples (is that a BAD word?!!) were going to be uneven or hard all the time!!!! LOL I've heard of that happening... plus, my FH would never allow it because he would be too afraid of the complications. So it looks like I'm stuck with pads forever but that's okay, haha.
..And I thought I was the only one.. You have me cracking up over here!! FH wont let me ge them for the same reason so I am in the same boat as you.. Thank god for the 'Miracle Bra'
I guess Big boobs thats my new American Dream
SeptBride70
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by smara
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
..And I thought I was the only one.. You have me cracking up over here!! FH wont let me ge them for the same reason so I am in the same boat as you.. Thank god for the 'Miracle Bra'
I guess Big boobs thats my new American Dream
Before I met my FH my American Dream was to NOT have to give each guy I dated 'the disclaimer' (as I lovingly refer to it) before they saw 'them' for the first time. EXAMPLE... 'Oh, Jeff, umm before you, umm well--do that I just want to let you know that you might be let down a little because umm, I wear a padded bra so what you see with my shirt on.. umm, isn't exactly what you see with it and the bra off. I'm so sorry!' *If I don't do that then I get that let down look on their face when it comes off!!!* Thank GOD I don't have to ever worry about that again b/c it's just FH and he's already had the disclaimer which he thought was SO funny! Hey, I call a spade a spade!!
smara
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
Posted by STBMrsDaniRella
Before I met my FH my American Dream was to NOT have to give each guy I dated 'the disclaimer' (as I lovingly refer to it) before they saw 'them' for the first time. EXAMPLE... 'Oh, Jeff, umm before you, umm well--do that I just want to let you know that you might be let down a little because umm, I wear a padded bra so what you see with my shirt on.. umm, isn't exactly what you see with it and the bra off. I'm so sorry!' *If I don't do that then I get that let down look on their face when it comes off!!!* Thank GOD I don't have to ever worry about that again b/c it's just FH and he's already had the disclaimer which he thought was SO funny! Hey, I call a spade a spade!!
The Disclamer - thats classic FH says he got stuck with the Bee stings... OMG did we totally take over this board talking about boobs - sorry girls!!
Preshy7
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Re: Anyone here just not want 'The American Dream?'
thats why i moved to CT...its not as bad here..its bad but not AS bad.. I think we an easily say that LI is not your typical place....
too much neuvo rich people...flaunting thier money ... old ladies wearing juicy couture sweat pants...getting their hair blown out every day...having their 10 nannies care for their kids whle they are out getting their nails done banging their personal trainer while their businessman husband is working 12 hours a day and probably banging his secretary...
its disgusting, really. and no i dont want to be like that at all...
sorry to rant! but its makes me so mad the way people measure success these days
