Anyone not going back to work after the wedding?

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Posted by Preshy7

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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you 'need' to stay at home?

absolutely not true at all

dont make blanket statements on here and dont tell us what we NEED to do.

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Right on!!!

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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I think that it is very easy for people to make statements such as this but as you mature you realize that these types of decisions are very personal and everyone has to do what is right for them. Personally, I have a career that I have worked very hard to establish and I will continue to work when I have children. I am the type of person who will be a better mother because I work than if I stayed home but I respect stay at home mothers as well. What I do not respect is the idea that there is only one way and I feel this post disrespects all working mothers, especially those that have made their decision for purely financial reasons. I know plenty of working women who are wonderful mothers!

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

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Posted by lilqtny

I am sorry and I know I will be flamed for this but it must be said, some of these responses sound like they are straight out of 1950 something! are you kidding me? I am going back to work after the wedding and after kids. I didn't work my butt off for four years of undergraduate studies and two years in graduate school to sit home and I WILL be an AWESOME mom. I am a teacher and I will be with my child every second I can be but I am not giving up my career and how dare anybody tell me that if my husband and I can't afford to live on one income I shouldn't have kids. That is just Fing nuts!

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I thought the SAME thing after I posted - even my grandmother, who was a stay at home mom, doesn't believe that I should quit and raise kids after also going thru 2 grad degrees, pursuing my board certification in behavior analysis (gruelling...) and then potentially PhD. My cousin married someone who could support her, has 2 kids, was never motivated to work, and so it works for her... But I don't judge her and she would never judge me...

I am in full support of what you said!!!

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wow... so happy that other people feel this way.. i was wondering on how i was going to post this....lol this is the year 2006... not 1950... lol sorry, jsut had to reply that i agree with your post

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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i'm amazed that you said this...i mean, are you 90? did u grow up in 1958? what kind of response is this??

and sweetie, the question was, will you continue to work after you are married, not after you have kids. hooked on phonics.....

i know you are just a random poster w/nothing better to do with your time, so i'll just leave it at that

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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i'm amazed that you said this...i mean, are you 90? did u grow up in 1958? what kind of response is this??

and sweetie, the question was, will you continue to work after you are married, not after you have kids. hooked on phonics.....

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No WAY - that was something else I was thinking after I posted!!! Word for word...

The thing is - she is probably very young. I know a lot of younger girls think that way before they devote themselves to a career... I think I thought when I was like 15 that i was gonna stay home with kids too...

Hello - reality hit me BIG time!

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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i'm amazed that you said this...i mean, are you 90? did u grow up in 1958? what kind of response is this??

and sweetie, the question was, will you continue to work after you are married, not after you have kids. hooked on phonics.....

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No WAY - that was something else I was thinking after I posted!!! Word for word...

The thing is - she is probably very young. I know a lot of younger girls think that way before they devote themselves to a career... I think I thought when I was like 15 that i was gonna stay home with kids too...

Hello - reality hit me BIG time!

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word!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FH's mom is a stay at home mom and his parents would like me to stay home too. But there's just no way that I could fathom it. Both of my sisters are stay at home moms and are perfectly happy. To each his own...

When FH and I started talking about getting married and discussing the # of kids we wanted, i seriously thought about my career and how we would provide for a family. That's why I made a career change and moved to real estate. It's excellent money and I come and go as I please. I never want to miss my kids school play or any soccer games, etc. I'm still able to have a job that I love and have the flexible schedule that I know I will need.

I don't think that stay at home moms have bragging rights about being better moms just because they stay home. There are just as many stay at home moms who suck at being parents as there are working parents who suck at it.

I'm not sure yet what I want to do.

lipglossjunky73 I agree -

I wont be able to afford to stay home - my FH and I are both teachers. Given we have a flexible shcedule but I also look forward to setting a positive example for my children. They will have a mother who is dedicated to them and to a career. I couldnt imagine not being able to teach - its my passion and one of the most rewarding jobs one can have! I know many working moms who raise amazing children - its quality time. I wouldnt be happy sitting home. PLus, what do you do all day when the kids are in school? My aunt devoted her whole entire life to her children and when they went off to college and had families of their own she was devastated and had nothing to fall back on.

Please let me stress ... I am NOT saying anything bad about being a stay at home mom. Im sure you have a lot to do and your job is hard - but I dont think anyone should be judged when they choose to have a career as well. PLus, I agree that LI is so expensive ... its hard to make it work with one salary.

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Posted by ZuzusPetals

lipglossjunky73 I agree -

I wont be able to afford to stay home - my FH and I are both teachers. Given we have a flexible shcedule but I also look forward to setting a positive example for my children. They will have a mother who is dedicated to them and to a career. I couldnt imagine not being able to teach - its my passion and one of the most rewarding jobs one can have! I know many working moms who raise amazing children - its quality time. I wouldnt be happy sitting home. PLus, what do you do all day when the kids are in school? My aunt devoted her whole entire life to her children and when they went off to college and had families of their own she was devastated and had nothing to fall back on.

Please let me stress ... I am NOT saying anything bad about being a stay at home mom. Im sure you have a lot to do and your job is hard - but I dont think anyone should be judged when they choose to have a career as well. PLus, I agree that LI is so expensive ... its hard to make it work with one salary.

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I'm in a similar field - I'm an autism and behavior consultant for districts with mainstream and inclusion classes with children on the autism spectrum - I love what I do, and feel with my knowledge, it would be a shame to stop (not a lot of people do waht I do - I worked hard to get where I am!)

I love the students I work with - and would miss working....

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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Not everyone wants to stay home and kids can grow up happy and healthly with two working parents. Just as long as theses parents aren't both working 80 hrs a week. I also think its wrong IMHO that the father works like 80hrs so the mother can stay home. Personally I think its better both parents work 40 hrs rather than never seeing the one parent whom is working 80hrs.

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Posted by smm2675

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and that's it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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i'm amazed that you said this...i mean, are you 90? did u grow up in 1958? what kind of response is this??

and sweetie, the question was, will you continue to work after you are married, not after you have kids. hooked on phonics.....

i know you are just a random poster w/nothing better to do with your time, so i'll just leave it at that

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I love what you said. I just can't read anymore. it's one thing to want to stay home, it another to have some delusional view of they way the world is now for most people. I could NEVER be financially dependent on someone, and I would want my child to see that no one has to be. If staying home is what you WANT to do, that's all well and good, but plenty of children with working parents are well-adjusted, just like plenty of kids with a stay at home parent are ROLLING HORROR SHOWS...and parent will be a good or bad one regardless.

BUT, getting back to the original question, I imagine that I will always work b/c that is my choice. i have a mind and would like to exercise my brain as well as my body and my bank account on a regular basis. The idea of someone 'taking care of me' kind of makes me nauseous. but then again, I have always been the type to take care of myself.

lipglossjunky73 - I am currently attending CW Post - Im in the masters program (SPecial Education.) I am subbing at BOCES too. SO I am working with many children on the spectrum. The kids are amazing. Its a lot of work but worth it. I wonder what direction I will lean towards. I actually have no preference regular ed. or special ed is fine with me. Ideally I would like to do inclusion tho.

Anyway, like I said, and I agree with you - I couldnt give up my profession. I love working with children - we have such important roles in society. The kids need us!

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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I think this is IDEAL...but NOT something most people can do these days. I will be able to take a six month leave after having a child, but then I will have to work..and will want to for my own sanity ...but I am lucky to have day care right here at work, AND will be able to bring my child in when necessary.

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Posted by smm2675

i'm amazed that you said this...i mean, are you 90? did u grow up in 1958? what kind of response is this??

and sweetie, the question was, will you continue to work after you are married, not after you have kids. hooked on phonics.....

i know you are just a random poster w/nothing better to do with your time, so i'll just leave it at that

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I can see why you love HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!