Anyone not going back to work after the wedding?

---

Posted by lilqtny

I am sorry and I know I will be flamed for this but it must be said, some of these responses sound like they are straight out of 1950 something! are you kidding me? I am going back to work after the wedding and after kids. I didn't work my butt off for four years of undergraduate studies and two years in graduate school to sit home and I WILL be an AWESOME mom. I am a teacher and I will be with my child every second I can be but I am not giving up my career and how dare anybody tell me that if my husband and I can't afford to live on one income I shouldn't have kids. That is just Fing nuts!

---

I'm so sorry to butt in on this board but I totally agree with you! Well said. Wow....my husband and I ARE EACHOTHER'S providers. We are a team--I don't call him my provider. I call him my husband/partner/friend/ etc.....not everyone can afford to stay home and many women work very hard to be in their current jobs. Not everyone wants to stay home and shop! I'd get super bored.

Wow! Guess I struck a nerve. Sorry. I guess because I do not have time to post 1,000 times a day, then my opinion doesn't matter.

But I will say this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are telling me that if you could afford to stay home with your child and you chose not to, just to keep your career, I do not agree with you. I think you need to give your whole self to your child, not just whats left over from your workday. Sorry if I offended anyone. Guess I'm just a random poster with nothing else better to do. Thanks for reading.

---

Posted by WoC2

Wow! Guess I struck a nerve. Sorry. I guess because I do not have time to post 1,000 times a day, then my opinion doesn't matter.

But I will say this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are telling me that if you could afford to stay home with your child and you chose not to, just to keep your career, I do not agree with you. I think you need to give your whole self to your child, not just whats left over from your workday. Sorry if I offended anyone. Guess I'm just a random poster with nothing else better to do. Thanks for reading.

---

My mother stayed at home and did a beautiful job raising us, but in today's day and age, women make everything work. I'm sorry, this just sounds like an old school opinion to me. I edit an equal rights magazine for women, so, yes, you struck a nerve. I have women friends who worked their butts off for MBAs.

---

Posted by WoC2

Wow! Guess I struck a nerve. Sorry. I guess because I do not have time to post 1,000 times a day, then my opinion doesn't matter.

But I will say this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are telling me that if you could afford to stay home with your child and you chose not to, just to keep your career, I do not agree with you. I think you need to give your whole self to your child, not just whats left over from your workday. Sorry if I offended anyone. Guess I'm just a random poster with nothing else better to do. Thanks for reading.

---

Susan Smith and Andrea Yeats were stay-at home moms w/out careers...looks like they're a great example for your statement.

Susan Smith: killed her TWO children

Andrea Yeats: TX woman that killed her FIVE children

---

Posted by WoC2

Wow! Guess I struck a nerve. Sorry. I guess because I do not have time to post 1,000 times a day, then my opinion doesn't matter.

But I will say this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are telling me that if you could afford to stay home with your child and you chose not to, just to keep your career, I do not agree with you. I think you need to give your whole self to your child, not just whats left over from your workday. Sorry if I offended anyone. Guess I'm just a random poster with nothing else better to do. Thanks for reading.

---

do you mean only the mother can give her 'whole self to the child'?

what about the father staying home and the mother working?

---

Posted by itslaurie.

---

Posted by WoC2

Wow! Guess I struck a nerve. Sorry. I guess because I do not have time to post 1,000 times a day, then my opinion doesn't matter.

But I will say this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are telling me that if you could afford to stay home with your child and you chose not to, just to keep your career, I do not agree with you. I think you need to give your whole self to your child, not just whats left over from your workday. Sorry if I offended anyone. Guess I'm just a random poster with nothing else better to do. Thanks for reading.

---

do you mean only the mother can give her 'whole self to the child'?

what about the father staying home and the mother working?

---

I was just about to post this!

---

Posted by WoC2

In my opinion, one parent being home is great. Mother or Father.

---

fair enough. just curious!

---

Posted by ZuzusPetals

lipglossjunky73 - I am currently attending CW Post - Im in the masters program (SPecial Education.) I am subbing at BOCES too. SO I am working with many children on the spectrum. The kids are amazing. Its a lot of work but worth it. I wonder what direction I will lean towards. I actually have no preference regular ed. or special ed is fine with me. Ideally I would like to do inclusion tho.

Anyway, like I said, and I agree with you - I couldnt give up my profession. I love working with children - we have such important roles in society. The kids need us!

---

any questions please FM me - I have tons of resources...

---

Posted by WoC2

Wow! Guess I struck a nerve. Sorry. I guess because I do not have time to post 1,000 times a day, then my opinion doesn't matter.

But I will say this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are telling me that if you could afford to stay home with your child and you chose not to, just to keep your career, I do not agree with you. I think you need to give your whole self to your child, not just whats left over from your workday. Sorry if I offended anyone. Guess I'm just a random poster with nothing else better to do. Thanks for reading.

---

Well - maybe when you stay home all day, you'll have more time to post... The only time I have time to post so much now is because my cases are winding down before the holidays and I'm bored at work.... When the kids come back, I'll be MIA for most of the time...

But, FYI - if we reacted in a way that upset you, wait til you have kids - they will be annoying you all the time - so, practice how you react in those situations. Especially if you're going to be home all day with them.

Thanks for reading...

Even if we didnt need the money I'd still need to work or volunteer - i need to be busy.

My FSIL quit her job the day before her wedding - i was shocked - but she never wanted to work ever or go to school.

Everybody's entitled to there different opinions. However, I think your friend should be honest with her FH and tell him b/c he might have different things in mind.

---

Posted by WoC2

I said if we can't afford to live on one income, then we shouldn't have kids. 'We' meaning my husband and I. Not everyone on LIW chat room!

---

Still - sharing a statement like that does imply that it's your beliefe about other people in general...

It's like I woual say to a group of non-vegetarian - I don't eat meat because it's a horrible thing to do... (sorry ladies - just an example)

I am very careful about what I say because things can be misconstrued as judgemental...

by the way ladies - I AM a nonjudgemental vegan - so eat away!

---

Posted by itslaurie.

---

Posted by WoC2

Wow! Guess I struck a nerve. Sorry. I guess because I do not have time to post 1,000 times a day, then my opinion doesn't matter.

But I will say this: Everyone is entitled to their opinion. If you are telling me that if you could afford to stay home with your child and you chose not to, just to keep your career, I do not agree with you. I think you need to give your whole self to your child, not just whats left over from your workday. Sorry if I offended anyone. Guess I'm just a random poster with nothing else better to do. Thanks for reading.

---

do you mean only the mother can give her 'whole self to the child'?

what about the father staying home and the mother working?

---

Look she gave her honest opinion and I respect that. If she wants to stay home and be a mom good for her. But I do disagree with WOC wording, but there is no reason to pick on her. WOC although i disagree, I do understand your view point. My FH will most likely be a stay at home daddy, which is fine for me. Personally I can't stay home, I will go nuts.
Woc by the way because I've never really said much to you, welcome to the 06'ers and happy planning.

i have a friend who has the same attitude- she has three degree, but her husband makes $$ and when she got engaged, she told me ' i want marriage and a family more than i want to work'... like you can't have both?! the funniest part is that her mom was a working mom my friends whole life, so she shoudl see you can have it all....
anyway, they got married in august, have no kids, and my friend hasn't used any of teh degrees her parents paid for... i would go crazy, but to each his own....
but i think your friend has MUCH BIGGER issues than not working- why hasn't she talked to her FI about it?? that doesn't bode well for the relationship- communication is #1 part of marriage......

to all of you - lets move on from this... I see a drama-cane heading soon!!!

---

Posted by WoC2

I said if we can't afford to live on one income, then we shouldn't have kids. 'We' meaning my husband and I. Not everyone on LIW chat room!

---

If only the people that could afford to live on one income had children, there would be a VERY rapid population decline throughout the world. That statement doesn't make much sense either.

giving your 'whole self' to anyone is unhealthy. what about giving a little to yourself. there are many ways to provide a loving example to your child...being there at all times to wipe their nose doesn't mean they are loved any more than another child who's parents bust their behinds at home AND at work to provide the child will ALL needs, emotional and physical.