Anyone not going back to work after the wedding?

when we get married I will still be in nursing school So I will go to work after to become a nurse

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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Well - if you can't aford to stay home, then it's impossible. We will never be able to afford one income and children.... That doesn't mean that I wouldn't be a wonderful mother!!! I want to have kids - but there's no way I'd have the luxury of staying home. I know many families that work and have kids. It's called reality... I don't agree if you can't stay home then you shouldn't have kids....

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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Hmmm..I don't know if I agree with that. Lots of people go back to work after they have kids whether it's because they want to or they have to. Not everyone who wants kids, just wants to sit home and be a mom. Some people like having a career as well. I don't think it's right to say that you shouldn't have kids if you only have one income. My mother never went back to work after she had me and my sister but that doesn't mean that her way is the only way. And my FH makes enough to support him and I both but I like having my own paycheck and having a job..AND I want to be a mother. I definitely think I can do both.

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Posted by alioop4282

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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Hmmm..I don't know if I agree with that. Lots of people go back to work after they have kids whether it's because they want to or they have to. Not everyone who wants kids, just wants to sit home and be a mom. Some people like having a career as well. I don't think it's right to say that you shouldn't have kids if you only have one income. My mother never went back to work after she had me and my sister but that doesn't mean that her way is the only way. And my FH makes enough to support him and I both but I like having my own paycheck and having a job..AND I want to be a mother. I definitely think I can do both.

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MY FH has 2 kids from a previous marriage as well - so we have a long hard road ahead of us - but I want kids.... and so does he... I think its unfair to expect someone in LI to stay at home - especially in this day and age...

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Posted by lipglossjunky73

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Posted by alioop4282

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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Hmmm..I don't know if I agree with that. Lots of people go back to work after they have kids whether it's because they want to or they have to. Not everyone who wants kids, just wants to sit home and be a mom. Some people like having a career as well. I don't think it's right to say that you shouldn't have kids if you only have one income. My mother never went back to work after she had me and my sister but that doesn't mean that her way is the only way. And my FH makes enough to support him and I both but I like having my own paycheck and having a job..AND I want to be a mother. I definitely think I can do both.

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MY FH has 2 kids from a previous marriage as well - so we have a long hard road ahead of us - but I want kids.... and so does he... I think its unfair to expect someone in LI to stay at home - especially in this day and age...

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Just because the person who posted that isn't going back to work after she has kids doesnt mean that every other girl has to stay home. LOTS of people go back to work. I'm going to! And I know I'll be a great mom. And you will be one too!

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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There are plenty of women out there that have like 5 kids and work as well. How will your child eat? Marriages can get destroyed with one bread winner, especially if that person has to kill themselves to pay the bills. I have to go back to work. I dont want FH working all the time to the point where neither me or my child gets to see him. Plus I love having some money to myself.

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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I disagree, I think you can have kids ad a job. Why should you have to sacrafice one for the other? If you are a strong, able minded woman, you ca do anything. I am the breadwinner in the family and I completely plan on continuing my career as well as have a family. My children will not be at a loss emotionally because I will throw myself into both aspects- family and career. Just my plans.

Thanks ladies - so glad I'm not the only one!!!

At this point not going back to work is not an option, we couldn't afford to live the way we want to on one income. I think that even if we could I wouldn't want to stay home, I'd get stir crazy sitting home all day. When we have kids I'd like to try to stay home the first year or two, and then go back to work part time. My job has a day care and the experiences the children get their are wonderful. I don't think putting you child in day care a few hours a week is a bad thing, they get to experience think they would not get at home.
Of course this is just the plan I have now, we'll see what happens in a few years.

I will definitely work after the wedding, but will most likely stop working once we have kids a few years down the road.

eta:
We also don't plan on living in New York which makes the staying at home a lot more possible.

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Posted by Jen2999

I dont have the financial freedom to ever stay home ....

If I did I would in a second. Id get a little side job or volunteer to keep me busy...but ID like ot not have the responsibility and take care of my future family.

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Ditto

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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I know everyone is already up in arms about this, but I had to add my $0.02
I would LOVE to be a stay at home mom, it has been my dream ever since I was a child.
Unfortunately, I also want to stay on Long island with my family. And though for some, that is financially feasible, it is not possible for everyone.
My parents run a day care center. I would love to tell all those parents who have to drop off their whole worlds, every morning, to go to a job they don't love, that you think they had no right having kids.
Opinions are fine, don't state them as judgemental facts, please.
Sorry, I never reply to these hiccoughs, this is a particularly close to home topic.

I am sorry and I know I will be flamed for this but it must be said, some of these responses sound like they are straight out of 1950 something! are you kidding me? I am going back to work after the wedding and after kids. I didn't work my butt off for four years of undergraduate studies and two years in graduate school to sit home and I WILL be an AWESOME mom. I am a teacher and I will be with my child every second I can be but I am not giving up my career and how dare anybody tell me that if my husband and I can't afford to live on one income I shouldn't have kids. That is just Fing nuts!

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Posted by lilqtny

I am sorry and I know I will be flamed for this but it must be said, some of these responses sound like they are straight out of 1950 something! are you kidding me? I am going back to work after the wedding and after kids. I didn't work my butt off for four years of undergraduate studies and two years in graduate school to sit home and I WILL be an AWESOME mom. I am a teacher and I will be with my child every second I can be but I am not giving up my career and how dare anybody tell me that if my husband and I can't afford to live on one income I shouldn't have kids. That is just Fing nuts!

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I thought the SAME thing after I posted - even my grandmother, who was a stay at home mom, doesn't believe that I should quit and raise kids after also going thru 2 grad degrees, pursuing my board certification in behavior analysis (gruelling...) and then potentially PhD. My cousin married someone who could support her, has 2 kids, was never motivated to work, and so it works for her... But I don't judge her and she would never judge me...

I am in full support of what you said!!!

That is really funny!! My FH would never go for me staying home after we are married. It is not even possible on LI. IMO, their is no reason for a women to be a stay at home wife.

Once you have kids, it is a different story. Then it is okay to stay home. I would love to stay home with my kids.
This post is about before you have kids. I mean, what do you do all day. How long does it take you to clean, 2 hours top. Then dinner maybe an hour. Then what???

I would be pretty P.O. if I knew my wife was home, watching TV and spending my money, while I was at work.

I am sorry, that gets me a little upset!!

i take alot of pride in my career. i love when people ask what i do- i worked really hard to get where i am and hope to be even more successful in the future.

as much as i respect house-wives, I dont think its right for me, personally.

of course i want a family and ideally and if i had a baby id love to work from home 2 days a week and maybe work full time the rest of the week but i still want to work.

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Posted by WoC2

If you are going to have children, then you need to stay home. That child needs you all the time. How could you stay home and have nothing to do when you have children? I will work up until we have a child, and thats it. If we can't afford to have only one income, then we shouldn't have kids.

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you 'need' to stay at home?

absolutely not true at all

dont make blanket statements on here and dont tell us what we NEED to do.