What's your story? My parents aren't paying for anything and I feel sad for them, because I know they would if they could. I keep telling my mother that I wouldn't accept it anyway because I've been out on my own for so long now. But it still pains me to hear the sorrow in her voice.
Kristina2009
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
FH & I are paying for just about everything. My mom will throw my shower and maybe his parents may cover the rehearsal dinner and I am sure they will gift us what gifts they can and help us out in small ways here and there. We are ok with it though and did not expect it to be otherwise. We are better off financially then our parents and, although the plans for owning a house or apt will be put on hold for a long time now, we are planning an amazing wedding that we have no guilt for because its all on us. It is also easier at close to 30 then it would be at 25! My dad did want certain menu upgrades although he is not paying but I understand - his friends are food lovers and he is inviting them and wants to be very proud of the party (that is my dad and I love him as is). I am ok with it, I work insane hours, try not to spend too much and this will all happen. I thank god every day that I have the luxury to be able to throw this kind of party for 250 people without going into debt.
Espo22
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
So far we paid for a majority of it. I paid $20k to the hall so far. We also received about 7k total from both of our parents towards the hall so far, i think they'll give more when we have the final balance due but again not expecting it, if we do it'll be nice since half the guests at least arent mine haha but if not no biggie
Most vendors we paid for such as videographer, flowers, dj, make up and hair, limos...however after we booked our photographer his mother offered to pay for that which was a nice surprise since we were ready to pay that.
My dress so far only the 60% deposit was paid since it didnt come in yet. My dad split it with me and actually put a bit more than me, which was nice again bc i went in there expecting to pay it all and he also said he'll pay the remaining balance.
my mom paying for bridal shower
FMIL paying for RD
other things we'll also pay for too such as bp gifts, church, head piece, DOJ, tuxes, hotel for night of and also HM. Hmmm my dad might get veil i guess.
so i would say so far we've paid for about 90% of it or a little more. I think my parents are planning on giving me some money when i have my final balance though which will be 50% of the balance
hb123
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
We're paying for our own wedding. FH and I are a bit older (relatively speaking) and more established. Plus, mom and dad put me thru college, I don't think that they should be under any obligation to pay for my wedding as well!
Mici n KC
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
We're paying for everything. I like it this way because when people start telling us to do certain things I can ignore them with good reason!
teenigrrl
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
we're paying for mostly everything on our own. my dad is in no shape to really help out, but he did buy me my dress, and that means the world to me.
Espo22
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
Posted by Mici n KC
We're paying for everything. I like it this way because when people start telling us to do certain things I can ignore them with good reason!
its so true though...even though they are contributing a little, we still have been making all the decisions. Of course when theres things they want ill hear it out and definitely do things for all of them, i would do this no matter what...but i dont have to go through things such as 'no you cant do this, we want it like this, or no we dont like that dj and so on' they dont even get involved luckily in any of that
TGs Lady 22908
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
We were supposed to being paying for it all ourselves (in fact, the ENTIRE wedding would have been paid up this month....grrr) BUT FH lost his job in June and had a hell of a time finding a new one so now we're using the $$ that we were getting from our parents as gifts toward the final balance and borrowing a little extra from my parents to be paid back after the wedding.
Before FH got laid off we had already paid about 40% of the final balance.
Ugh.....This situation makes me so goddam angry.... i HATE borrowing money.
SparklingBride10
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
As of now we are paying for everything ourselves.
MEMEJOR
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
we are paying for ourselves too... I am so tired of people asking how much... Its a great feeling of doing it yourself plus no one can tell you what to do....
bk309
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
We are paying for everything ourselves. My mom paid for my dress and my accessories. I am so grateful for that. She just can't afford to do much else. I wasn't going to tell her to not pay for it because I know she feels bad about not having more so I have to happily accept what she can give. She would feel awful if I declined it. I really wish the whole wedding thing wasn't so pricey. I am not a big spender so I have had my share of doubts about this whole thing but I am glad we are doing it ourselves and I know that we will be okay. I may be spending way more than I want to but at least I don't have to take out loans to do it and I also know that my mother will be so happy on my wedding day. I am not just doing it for me but for her as well.
nifheim
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
my mom and dad purchased my dress and paid for the shower everything else is all on us. Reason why - they paid 10k to my college education and honestly that is more then what they probably should of.
i sometimes feel sad to the fact the parents are paying for most childrens education and then pay for them to get married is complete b/s even if you have the money. there should be a point of financial responsibility that you take on.
lisa50
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
I'm paying for the whole wedding. FH took care of my ring and honeymoon. We are hoping to make some $$ especially from the parents. I'm sticking to a strict budget, because it's all I have.
snwb08
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
my mom is buying my dress and paying for my shower. she will also buy us a gift, i'm sure.
we are paying for everything else ourselves. I would never expect my parents or his mom to pay for any of our wedding; it's our wedding and we are choosing to have it the way we want it.
if parents want to help out, that's great; I don't think it's a given that they should though. especially considering mine are nearing retirement, i would never take their money (even my dress was under $1k!) because i'm better off financially than they are. Even so, neither fh or i wanted to spend a lot on a wedding so we are prioritizing and spending most on what's really important to us (like photos, honeymoon, etc.)
Violet19
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
We are paying for most of it ourselves which has not been easy since I work in the Entertainment industry and was laid off because of the strike, and we also have A LOT of school loans. It is really killing us financially to the point where I just want to cancel the whole thing and elope.
lucamon
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Re: Anyone' s Parents Not Paying?
We're paying for everything with the exception of my wedding dress. My mom insists that she buys me the dress as a wedding gift. And I feel bad because I picked a rather expensive dress. I wouldn't want her to pay for anything more because both my mom and FH's mom are widows and they need to plan for their retirement.
