Are you changing your name?

You tell her Kerie!!!!!

I was thinking the same thing!!

WTH do you mean honored that he is willing to let me use his name??? As if any guy is going to sit there and say 'no honey, you can't take my last name!!' OMG that comment ms 'hotfemale' made is enough to make me hurl....

I'm officially hyphenating and using my 'maiden' name professionally. I don't really want to change my name at all (he wants me to, but is supportive of whatever I want). Our potential kids will have his name and I want to make sure that I have a legal name in common with my kids. I have heard horror stories from women who didn't change their names having major security issues with their kids who had their dad's last name.

BTW: I hate the term 'maiden name'. I don't see myself as a maiden. the word maiden makes me think of a girl in pigtails and a dress carrying buckets of milk back from the barn.

It is interesting to see what other people do but I really feel like it's 'to each his own' when it comes to this.

For me, I won't have the same last name as my kids, but I am okay with dealing with that. Some people don't want to deal with that, and I can understand.

---

Posted by SexyEsq

He told me it is my decision. I looked into changing it, but b/c of my profession (lawyer) it is too much of a pain to change it on my license, so I'm keeping my name. Although if the procedure to change it professionally was not such a hassle a I would change it.

---

SexyEsq--I am a lawyer also. It is my understanding that if I change my name legally, I cannot just still use my maiden name to practice law. I heard that it is an ethical rules violation to practice law under a name that does not match your legal name. But I also heard that some other states make an exception if the name you use is your maiden name.

I've been practicing for over 10 years and now have my own firm. I can't see changing everything and I can't see just using my maiden name for work. I meet people socially all the time and end up talking business and giving them my card. I would think that the name on my card has to match the name that I introduce myself as!!!

Can you FM me if you know more about the rules? I want to know if the info I have is accurate!!

---

Posted by BRIDEMICHELE

My FH and I just got in a fight about this. I was going to change my name but then I just woke up one day and it hit me. I don't want to change my name- I've had it my whole life. Plus, I hate his name. He has a very ethnic name and neither of us are that ethnicity (he's adopted). I tried to get him to change his name to a combination of our names but he wouldn't budge. He says that the entire wedding rpocess is for me and the one thing he asks is that I take his name. (I have to admit, up until this point, he's given me everything I asked for in reference to the wedding) What are you girls doing?

---

I am in a similar situation- MY FH has a VERY jewish last name- but is not Jewish- put that together with 'Beth' ( real name Elizabeth) and no one will ever believe that I am catholic and italian again- this is very upsetting to me

I am not changing my name right away- but I will change it - I am still very tradtional

---

Posted by coopersmom

---

Posted by hotfemale767

Yes, you should take your FH last name, that's the tradition. You should feel honored that he is willing to let you use his name.

---

Why don't husbands take their wives names? Why must everything be 'tradition'? Why must the women be stripped of their identities because they get married. I will never understand this way of thinking. We are not our husband's properties and don't need NAME TAGS on us.

JMHO...lol

---

NOBODY can strip your identity if you don't want them to, If a name is the only thing that you use to identify yourself as a person, then to me, that is awfully sad. My identity, is a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, lady, teacher, friend, lover and wife to be. If by taking FH's last name (or him taking mine) strips me of that, then I really have issues. I could not allow myself to become someone's property because I am a strong woman as are my mother, my sisters, my aunts, my cousins, my friends and every other woman who took their husband's last names. They don't wear collars around their necks that say 'If lost please return to MY HUSBAND'. I don't consider myself to be a feminist but for crying out loud, far from passive. Geesh!

newlyweds post

I created a poll on the newlywed board about the same thing. check it out

---

Posted by Goldi1021

---

Posted by coopersmom

---

Posted by hotfemale767

Yes, you should take your FH last name, that's the tradition. You should feel honored that he is willing to let you use his name.

---

Why don't husbands take their wives names? Why must everything be 'tradition'? Why must the women be stripped of their identities because they get married. I will never understand this way of thinking. We are not our husband's properties and don't need NAME TAGS on us.

JMHO...lol

---

NOBODY can strip your identity if you don't want them to, If a name is the only thing that you use to identify yourself as a person, then to me, that is awfully sad. My identity, is a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, lady, teacher, friend, lover and wife to be. If by taking FH's last name (or him taking mine) strips me of that, then I really have issues. I could not allow myself to become someone's property because I am a strong woman as are my mother, my sisters, my aunts, my cousins, my friends and every other woman who took their husband's last names. They don't wear collars around their necks that say 'If lost please return to MY HUSBAND'. I don't consider myself to be a feminist but for crying out loud, far from passive. Geesh!

---

Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My FH supports my choice to keep my name. He knows it's important (if I EVER get an agent!) to be published under my name.

Plus, marriage isn't about the last name; it's about your life together.

---

Posted by Goldi1021

---

Posted by coopersmom

---

Posted by hotfemale767

Yes, you should take your FH last name, that's the tradition. You should feel honored that he is willing to let you use his name.

---

Why don't husbands take their wives names? Why must everything be 'tradition'? Why must the women be stripped of their identities because they get married. I will never understand this way of thinking. We are not our husband's properties and don't need NAME TAGS on us.

JMHO...lol

---

NOBODY can strip your identity if you don't want them to, If a name is the only thing that you use to identify yourself as a person, then to me, that is awfully sad. My identity, is a daughter, sister, aunt, cousin, lady, teacher, friend, lover and wife to be. If by taking FH's last name (or him taking mine) strips me of that, then I really have issues. I could not allow myself to become someone's property because I am a strong woman as are my mother, my sisters, my aunts, my cousins, my friends and every other woman who took their husband's last names. They don't wear collars around their necks that say 'If lost please return to MY HUSBAND'. I don't consider myself to be a feminist but for crying out loud, far from passive. Geesh!

---

very well said. i agree. i cant wait to take FHs name. us having the same name symbolizes us as a family and as one unit, which is what i am looking forward to most. everyone knows that i am missy. whether its missy c or missy m, it really doesnt make a difference! you are who you are. a name shouldnt change that