Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Original post by sarahradio5

Jan 19, 2006 11:38 AM

Just curious... my parents are footing about 80% of the wedding costs, we're doing about 20% and my fiance's mom is doing the rehearsal dinner...

I know there are different versions of who should pay what depending on what 'tradition' you go by... how is everyone here doing it? I would like to ask his mom to help with limos or videographer or something to help lessen the blow for us. It's so awkward and stressful!

FUTUREBRIDETOKEITH Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:20 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

My mother in law wants to pay for my dress. She paid for his sister's dress now she wants to pay for mine.

JGirl11297 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:23 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

His family is giving us money to pay for the band, photographer, and flowers. They are also doing the rehearsal dinner....My parents are paying for the hall and then me and FH are doing the rest!

Katie&Chris2006 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:24 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

i don't think we are getting anything from them. my parents are paying about 50% and the other 50% is going to have to come from FH and I. I have no idea how we are going to do it.

SeptBride70 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:30 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

OK, it is a group effort with our wedding! Ready? Put your thinking caps on!!
We are just about splitting it three ways... My FH husband and I are going to save about 1/3 of the cost, my FIL's are paying for THEIR guests (they have like 170 guests VS. my side's 50 guests anyway LOL) plus a few other things here and there to make it the other 1/3. Plus, the rehearsal dinner.
My parents are paying for THEIR guests and a few other things here and there up to what they can afford (a specific number) b/c my Dad's retired and it's hard for them.
Plus, my sister is getting married this August so it's her and then me a year later. They are giving me and her the exact same amount and if I decided I wanted more or if something cost more then my FH and I had to decide a plan to save the difference.
So, we sat down with my FIL's and discussed it and came up with that plan. It's not an exact even split b/c my parents can only afford what they can afford plus they cannot give me more than my sister--that's just not fair at all. So, my FH and I are just going to save a little bit more ourselves to cover that but I'm just happy that my FIL's and parents are as easy going and generous as they are otherwise, YIKES!
So when it came time to sign my Dad put the deposit down for FF, then me and my FH put the deposit for the photographer, bought my gown, and put the deposit down on the limos, then my FMIL put the deposit down on the band and paid one payment for the band.
So, as things come up we delegate and each kind of take turns and each of us keep count of what we spend on which thing that way no one pays more than they are supposed to and we don't lose track!
E-party-- my FIL's house b/c it is large enough to accomodate everyone, my dad is cooking everything for it, Bridal Shower-- my mom is paying for it, she is putting in what she paid for my sister's (if I want anything more expensive or it happens to be more money-of course not counting inflation) then I will pay out of my own pocket the difference. If my FMIL wants to invite a lot more people then my Mom does then she will pay for her part. So, we try to stick with that way of thinking and take each seperate event and expense for what it is-- that way it's fair to everyone. Also, we completely disregard tradition b/c if we didn't do that--oh boy we would be in real trouble!!
Good Luck everyone--hope everyone else is as lucky as I am to have fair and generous people in their lives. THANK GOD!

nicolehojo Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:34 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

my parents are paying for the reception, including the centerpieces, and a bunch of other stuff... my gown and what goes with it, and they are building us a house... Which is very very nice, my ffil said he will pay for something, hes not sure what yet.. but thats totally ok.. and my FH and I are paying for the rest..

tjs Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:35 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Posted by stephanief

does that answer your question?

lol same here!!

pebbles Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:38 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

hmmmm we got an engagement card from them and wow no gift.....no mention of what we were doing for the wedding and then the night before FFIL calls to ask if we got corsages for FH sisters, kids ect and I said no so he made a big stink and said he was not coming to the wedding. The florist said you do not have to do that, that it is old fashioned so I skipped it, I was livid for 2 years nothing until the night before I was pissed. So the next day at church he brought FH sisters and kids and hubby corsages and mind you they did not even match my flowers. UGHHH I was so mad, but he did end up giving us a descent gift.

JazzyT Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:39 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

NO, My parents are helping out the rest is me and FH.

Soon2BeMrs2006 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:40 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

theyre paying for their guests.

sarahradio5 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:55 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

There's just SO much, just one or two areas of the wedding would be appreciated: limos 1700, photo 5500, video 1500, flowers 1500... favors, church, pre-cana, honeymoon, part of the reception cost, little 'nice touches' like the chocolate fountain or seafood for the reception (which we're currently not getting)... It all adds up! Every little bit helps!

smara Posted: Jan 19, 2006 12:59 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Nope.. we have to do it all

Athee07 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 01:08 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

50- 50

nov06 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 01:16 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

They're paying for the reception hall!! They are so great. My parents are divorced so mom doesn't have the kind of money to help us out as much as she would like but every little bit helps.

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Jan 19, 2006 01:21 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

While it's not 50-50, my FILs are paying for the rehearsal dinner, HM, seafood at the CH, and a chocolate fountain for us. They are being very generous.

charliesbride Posted: Jan 19, 2006 01:21 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

Posted by Athee07

50- 50

we are 50-50 also

ML110 Posted: Jan 19, 2006 01:31 PM

Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?

DH is an only child, so his parents pretty much split things 50/50 with my parents.... each set gave an equal amount which was enough to cover the reception and flowers... my grandma gave us some that covered the photographer and church fee, and DH and i paid for the honeymoon and extra little stuff....
My mom paid for most of the shower, and DHs parents paid for teh rehearsal dinner... so it really was all split up pretty well between DHs parents, my parents, and DH and i.