Just curious... my parents are footing about 80% of the wedding costs, we're doing about 20% and my fiance's mom is doing the rehearsal dinner...
I know there are different versions of who should pay what depending on what 'tradition' you go by... how is everyone here doing it? I would like to ask his mom to help with limos or videographer or something to help lessen the blow for us. It's so awkward and stressful!
Soon2BMrsB
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
My FIL's are the greatest! Not b/c they are helping us out but they are such great people...I feel so lucky! Anyway- they are paying for the plates for their side of the family (and it is pretty big), the RD and they are lending us money to make up for the balance of our share. Of course we will be paying them back immediately after the wedding.
mka06
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
my fmil is giving us what will come close to covering the RD, but won't completely. ffil (they're divorced) so far isn't giving anything. my parents are giving us a lot. i don't think fils have a clue how much everything is costing or how much my parents are giving bc they aren't from ny. but, we've done all the asking we can, so i don't think we're getting anymore!
wendy1220
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
Not a thing and probably won't even send a card. Oh, I'm so lucky to have them for in-laws, good thing they don't live in the U.S.!
lisad117
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
My parents gave us a generous amount of money but we are paying for 3/4 of it ourselves. FH's mother is older and on a fixed income but she is giving us something towards the photographer.
Soon2BeMrsD
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
my parents are paying the majority of the final payment for the hall ( FH and I will have to contribute about 2000 to it, plus are paying 1000 every 3 months) FH and i are basically paying for 80-85%, my parents are paying for about 15-20%..FH's mom is doing th RD but its only gonna be maybe 20people, so i wish she could contribute more to ease the financial strain on me and FH b/c we are paying for most of it
Sweets14
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
Fmil told me she might not even come to our engagement party!!!!!
clw924
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who has not received an engagement gift from FIL's, not to mention a card. No offer at this time to help with anything. My Dad has given us a generous amount and we are paying for the rest. The bright side is, the less my FILs are involved the better. I even offered her to invite the friends she wants. I asked 2 months ago and followed up 3 times. she can't decide on what friends from work to invite. Are you for real? You can invite friends, not work buddies. What is that all about? My FI is handling it now. I told him that I am done asking her. If she doesn't tell us by March when we do our invitations, she lost her opportunity. That is our only issue in the wedding planning....so needless to say they are not paying for anything. Also, the majority of the time his parents call him on the cell phone. Hello, we do have a landline - god forbid they talk to me..I stole their only son away....
wendy1220
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
Posted by clw924
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who has not received an engagement gift from FIL's, not to mention a card. No offer at this time to help with anything. My Dad has given us a generous amount and we are paying for the rest. The bright side is, the less my FILs are involved the better. I even offered her to invite the friends she wants. I asked 2 months ago and followed up 3 times. she can't decide on what friends from work to invite. Are you for real? You can invite friends, not work buddies. What is that all about? My FI is handling it now. I told him that I am done asking her. If she doesn't tell us by March when we do our invitations, she lost her opportunity. That is our only issue in the wedding planning....so needless to say they are not paying for anything. Also, the majority of the time his parents call him on the cell phone. Hello, we do have a landline - god forbid they talk to me..I stole their only son away....
I know, it's really horrible. Hey, at least they're coming, right? These people, well I should say his dad refuses to accept me nor acknowledge that I'm around and we're getting married. Here's a crazy thought...how about instead of judging me by the pre-conceived notions that you so incorrectly have, try getting to know me before you decide that I'm that terrible. I've never even spoken to the man and we're together a long time! Ahhh, it's so frustrating.
Goldi1021
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
Nope and thus they have no say.
bournebride
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
rehearsal dinner
kris15198
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
Rehearsal dinner, favors, part of photographer
marymoon
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
His parents are paying for umm....well they may give us a gift...if we're lucky.
Before WW3 started with them we asked them to pay for the RD since that's traditionally the groom's family's thing. They said 'jewish people don't have RD's' (Umm tell that to all of the people in their family who had them!!)
We were going to ask them to pay for the rabbi, ketubah, chuppah and ceremony site....
but now we'll be lucky (unlucky?) if they show up
JPCP4806
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
Im Sick of FIL's wanting to put their '2 Cents' in.. They arent paying for anything so therefor they shouldnt have a say in anything. They helped out FH's Brother 2 yrs ago for his wedding. we get Jack.. I guess they think my parents are loaded... Well I will Make sure EVERYONE knows who exactly paid for my wedding.. His sister was even suppoed to pay for the DJ like she sis for FH's Brother. Found out she Pd. 900.00 for their DJ and shes giving us a card b/c our DJ is more money then that... I will be steaming if i open the card and its a fraction of that.... they are just CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP....They cant even go in each others car with out bitching that they are wasting mileage and gas...
kam0813
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
FH's parents are paying for their guests at the wedding...my mom is paying for our guests...and we're paying for the vendors...i dunno what we're doing about the rehersal dinner yet
shellibean
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
Posted by roxyspark
Posted by kaklesmay
Rehearsal Dinner.
We are paying for everything else and hoping for a nice gift
Same here.
Us too! FH's father said he may be able to help with the cost of the flowers as well as the RH...we'll see!!!
jportjeff
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
i basically 'told' them they would be paying for their guests they wanted to invite since they insisted on a saturday night, which greatly increased the cost on everything!
My parents gave me a set amount, then we would put in the rest. So if I had to break it out.
My parents: 50% FI parents: 40% Us: 10%
It worked out fine.
sarahthegreat
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
so far they've paid for the limo that they HAD to have...i'm hoping we get enough from them to cover the RD.
Backinneyork
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
My FIL paid for the rehearsal dinner - that's it!
akaMrsT
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
No, but neither are my parents.
We are paying for everything 100% and did not even think of asking for help. It's just not something I think parents are obligated to pay for albeit tradition for the bride's family to pay for the wedding.
Food, shelter, education - yeah I think parents should pay for those things. As for college and grad school, I think parents (if they can) should pay for that or offer to help at least but a party
ewickens
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Re: Are your fiance's parents paying for anything?
FH parent's actually just came to us and told us a price they want to give my parent's to help them out. They gave a figure that would pay for all their guests to attend. I informed my parents and they didn't give me a response other than surprised (this didn't happen with my brother's wedding and I think they weren't expecting it), so we told both parents to talk it over when they get together next. Plus, FH parent's are paying for the rehearsal dinner.
