Is anyone else upset/nervous about your FH having one? I'm trying to push for a co-ed one so I'm not as upset. I had a bad experience with my ex (he cheated on me god knows how many times, mostly with strippers) and even though my FH is nothing like him, the idea of the strip club and VEGAS makes me really angry. His friends are constantly making fun of me because of my aniexty. The only one who is nice about it is the BM who is dating my MOH. Am I acting ridiculous or do I have every right to be upset?
TheMrandMrsof2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
You have a right to be upset.
But, you trust him. Have no worries.
I want FH to have a huge Bachelor Party.. it is his last horrah!
SoontobeMrsH
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
Hmmn, My FH is not having a traditional Bachlor Party, he is going w/ his Dad, cousins, uncles, friends, and men from my Family to go Sking @ Coper Mountain, in CO. This March
My Girls & I and the women from my family & FH's family are going out to the east end for a relaxing weekend, consisting of shopping ,dining and golfing @ Hampton Hills Country Club. My FH propsed at a golf course at a country club in Brookville, on the golf course.
Have you suggested something like this? My FFIL suggested the trip to Colorado, and I went to Southampton for my under-grad, and we have axcess to the Club, so it just worked out....
What does your FH like to do? What do you like to do? I wanted to see an Opera @ the Met, and noone wanted to do it, so try to keep your guest in mind... Oh and if anyone, likes Opera and wants to see a show let me know. Noone in my life is interested in Opera
zoe282
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
I understand your concerns, but if you are marrying this man you are giong to have to trust him. My FH is going to Vegas and i know that if i asked him not to go he would resent me. I feel like guys view the bachelor party like girls like to plan the wedding...my FH was talking about his even before we were engaged. Why not compromise and ask his friends not to take him to a strip club? What you don't want to happen is to have him lie to you and do what he wants anyway....I'm having my Bachelorette party the same weekend as FH's and it will keep my mind off things....try to trust him...
dannisayz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
I trust my FH. I don't trust his friends, except the BM. My FH loves outdoors things and he would love to go skiiing/snowboarding. He even suggested going out on a deep sea charter boat from Orient. None of his friends were up for it.
I've told him my concerns about Vegas and he doesn't resent me at all for it. He was even excited for a co-ed party, but its his friends that are running the show.
Nirvin
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
FH's friends wanted to have his bachelor party in DR and I said HELL TO THE NO!! So they are settling for FL. I trust him and even his friends... but I understand your concerns.
dannisayz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
Posted by zoe282
I understand your concerns, but if you are marrying this man you are giong to have to trust him. My FH is going to Vegas and i know that if i asked him not to go he would resent me. I feel like guys view the bachelor party like girls like to plan the wedding...my FH was talking about his even before we were engaged. Why not compromise and ask his friends not to take him to a strip club? What you don't want to happen is to have him lie to you and do what he wants anyway....I'm having my Bachelorette party the same weekend as FH's and it will keep my mind off things....try to trust him...
My 2 MOHs thought it would be a good idea for us to do a cultured weekend in NYC (Museums, BW Show/Opera, hotel suite at the Marriot, and then the Culture Club). It would help keep my mind off them being in Vegas, but I know myself too well. I'll be going crazy inside.
Wifeynella
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
i can understand why you are anxiety but you have to keep in mind your FH and your ex are two different people. FH cant pay for the sins of your ex. All of my exs cheated on me, but FH is like night and day with them.
You can talk to FH about it. If he is someone who wants to go all out for the strippers an Vegas, then I'd trust him to be a good boy.
my FH isn't the stripper/Vegas guy so when the groomsmen bring it up, he shoots it down b/c it's not something he wants to do. i've made it clear i trust him and any place he wants to go for this night is fine with me, be it a strip club, sports event, etc.
IMHO: trust your FH. he loves you and maybe vegas/strippers arent important to him.
AndRecKy
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
my fh is going to AMSTERDAM. haha--i completely trust him though. i have to, i am marrying him!! i would talk to your fh about your concerns but i dont think its worth arguing over
buffalobride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
I totally understand your concern but you just have to trust him. Your last relationship is in the past you cant let him suffer for something someone else did. I wouldnt worry too much its all over so quick anyway and then you get to spend the rest of your lives together!
dannisayz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
I do trust him and I've spoken to him about it. I basically have no choice. The whole idea of the bachelor party just makes me sick to begin with I guess.
jteach711
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
I think every man deserves a bachelor party alone without his fiance.
I have been pushing fh to go away but he would rather go to a yankee game and then a nice dinner and then a few bars, and I am sure his friends will take him to a strip club. I am not concerned and if you trust your fh reguardless if you do not trust his friends than I do not think it should bother you and you should let him enjoy the time with his friends JMO
SoontobeMrsH
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
Posted by dannisayz
I do trust him and I've spoken to him about it. I basically have no choice. The whole idea of the bachelor party just makes me sick to begin with I guess.
The thought of stippers really angers me & to me it's cheating, end of story it sounds like you view it the same. Explain this to your FH
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
Posted by dannisayz
I do trust him and I've spoken to him about it. I basically have no choice. The whole idea of the bachelor party just makes me sick to begin with I guess.
i get the same way hun! the only thing that makes me feel better is that im adament about plannin mine for the same weekend that his will be and tryin not to think about it .... Thats the only way i can get through it.... My fh is plannin on going to montreal.. Funny thing is he doesnt like strip clubs at all, but of course they are gonna take him there...
Try to do something that day/weekend to get your mind offa it ...
FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
Posted by perfectpair
Posted by dannisayz
I do trust him and I've spoken to him about it. I basically have no choice. The whole idea of the bachelor party just makes me sick to begin with I guess.
The thought of stippers really angers me & to me it's cheating, so if FH's Boys took him to a Strip Club, the wedding would be off, a trip to colorado to go sking is a diferent story
I dont mind if Fh goes there and looks (i've been to them with him), but I agree there should be no touching.... He hasnt done that the whole time we've been together, so he should right b4 we get married? I dont think so...
siffleuse319
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
In my opinion, both bachelor and bachelorette parties are horribly cheesy. They are so antiquated, and their entire purpose is so contrary to love, marriage, and all it resembles. I have already told my BP that I will be offended if they try to have one for me. As for FH.....I trust him and his Groom's Men implicitly...it's the other douche bags that I think will try to hijack the party. I have heard of multiple stories of men 'getting off' at these parties (for a nominal fee paid for behind the groom's back..and the poor guy starts out not wanting to do anything of the sort, just like all of our FHs say). I can't fathom what would happen if FH got caught up in any of these debaucherous antics....Call me farty, call me an a** or even a controlling, old, biddy....and I'll proudly stand up for each one of those, if it means staying true to my principles. No bachelorette party for me.....No Naked (or Half-Naked) Woman for FH. He should have gotten all that out of his system before proposing.....
SoontobeMrsH
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted by perfectpair
Posted by dannisayz
I do trust him and I've spoken to him about it. I basically have no choice. The whole idea of the bachelor party just makes me sick to begin with I guess.
The thought of stippers really angers me & to me it's cheating, so if FH's Boys took him to a Strip Club, the wedding would be off, a trip to colorado to go sking is a diferent story
I dont mind if Fh goes there and looks (i've been to them with him), but I agree there should be no touching.... He hasnt done that the whole time we've been together, so he should right b4 we get married? I dont think so...
To me it's cheating everyone has their owns terms to as to what they are willing to accept. The day my FH wants to go to a place like that is the day our relationship ends. Kudos to you for going w/ him. I'm a big ol prude & I'm insulted easily, But my FH thinks that it's sleazy & dirty so it worked out that we both agree on this...
Espo22
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
i understand the way you feel bc of what happened to you in the past but you are marrying FH bc he is not the same as your ex, and you can't hold him accountable for what somebody else did to you, if it was the other way around and he held you responsible for an ex's actions, i am sure it would bother you.
I know for me personally, i know people feel differently so don't go jumping down on me just bc you feel differently, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But if my fh tried to tell me what i can or can't do then i would get very upset. I am going to vegas for bachelorette party, not going there to hook up with guys, not going to male strip clubs but to get away with the girls and have fun. But if fh came to me and said i cant do something i really want then that would upset me greatly, for one i would feel like he doesn't trust me...lets say he didn't trust my friends then that would still upset me bc i am not them and just bc others do things, i am not a child that will do whatever everybody else does, i have a mind of my own and can't be forced to do anything i don't want to do.
I remember one couple i knew and they would never let the other one go out alone...i used to ask them why and they both were worried something would happen, to me it didn't make sense bc i used to think, if the second you are away from your SO, you think something will happen then why be with them. I want to be with somebody where i dont have to be up their a** in order for them NOT to cheat, its not a way to live...this is more of an extreme case, so not saying it applies to everybody on here...but i dont want to live like that, i'd rather be alone than with somebody that everytime they went out with friends i thought they would do something.
Forget how his friends are, hes your fh and dont get me wrong guys do stupid things so ill agree with that, but if he hasn't given you any reason throughout your relationship not to trust him then its hard to tell him something...now if he has given you reason to be afraid that is a completely different story but if thats the case, there should be concern regardless not just in reference to the bachelor party
I Love my bear
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
At first I wanted a Coed one b/c we're both going to Vegas and I thought it would be fun, BUTTT... his groomsman told me that they won't have it. Soo. we're going to have our own awesome time, and honestly I couldn't care less what they do, they're not going to have a better time than we do!!!
I Love my bear
Posted:
Member since
Re: Bachelor Party
Posted by perfectpair
Posted by FuTuRe MrS MaZz
Posted by perfectpair
Posted by dannisayz
I do trust him and I've spoken to him about it. I basically have no choice. The whole idea of the bachelor party just makes me sick to begin with I guess.
The thought of stippers really angers me & to me it's cheating, so if FH's Boys took him to a Strip Club, the wedding would be off, a trip to colorado to go sking is a diferent story
I dont mind if Fh goes there and looks (i've been to them with him), but I agree there should be no touching.... He hasnt done that the whole time we've been together, so he should right b4 we get married? I dont think so...
To me it's cheating everyone has their owns terms to as to what they are willing to accept. The day my FH wants to go to a place like that is the day our relationship ends. Kudos to you for going w/ him. I'm a big ol prude & I'm insulted easily, But my FH thinks that it's sleazy & dirty so it worked out that we both agree on this...
Honestly the more you make a big deal of this the more the guy is going to want to do it. If you really couldn't give a sh*t less, your guy is gonna sweat you. Don't worry it wont do you any good. Believe me either way he's going to come back to you, don't make a big deal of this stuff in all honesly most guys hate stripppers/whores sh*t it like a game to them.
