bachelor party & strippers...please help

V- its not that im OK with him going, because i do think its nasty nasty nasty, but the only times he has ever gone is for a bach party.

its not like he says oh its friday lets go to the strip club for the heck of it.

he says 'its friday honey, get naked'

this is a very gray area with a lot of girls, my roomate is adamently against them. To me since he doesnt go on a regular basis, i really dont care.

If he was a VIP in the boom boom room then we would have a sit down and id cut it off...

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Posted by VCanizalez

And I will feel disgusted if Fh comes to me after touching another woman...
That is so disgusting...

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I totally hear what you are saying, but just because a guy goes to a strip club does NOT mean he is going to or was touching another woman. You can go to a strip club and just order a drink and watch (sounds super creepy ) without getting touched/rubbed on by a stripper.

When FH and I first got engaged I was totally against the strip club thing. Then the closer we got the more I realized I didn't actually care...as long as no strippers came back to the hotel. FH and I talked about it and set up some rules (no private room crap and no back at the hotel nonsense) and I felt secure that he would respect me and my wishes. After his bachelor party he was completely open and told me that they did stop by a strip club for a bit, he did NOT get a lap dance, and that it was more to really feel like they were doing the whole 'bachelor party' experience...which I totally get. I also loved that he didn't feel like he had to sneak behind my back.

I think the biggest thing here is that there needs to be 100% understanding between the couple. All relationships are different, and that's great. There's not a right or right answer to this situation. However, both people need to be on the same page or else an issue is definitely going to come up since this is a hot topic.

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Posted by fdnybride163

V- its not that im OK with him going, because i do think its nasty nasty nasty, but the only times he has ever gone is for a bach party.

its not like he says oh its friday lets go to the strip club for the heck of it.

he says 'its friday honey, get naked'

this is a very gray area with a lot of girls, my roomate is adamently against them. To me since he doesnt go on a regular basis, i really dont care.

If he was a VIP in the boom boom room then we would have a sit down and id cut it off...

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I agree!

Totally off topic for a sec....is the guy in your avatar real???????????

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Posted by NikkiB0401

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Posted by fdnybride163

V- its not that im OK with him going, because i do think its nasty nasty nasty, but the only times he has ever gone is for a bach party.

its not like he says oh its friday lets go to the strip club for the heck of it.

he says 'its friday honey, get naked'

this is a very gray area with a lot of girls, my roomate is adamently against them. To me since he doesnt go on a regular basis, i really dont care.

If he was a VIP in the boom boom room then we would have a sit down and id cut it off...

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I agree!

Totally off topic for a sec....is the guy in your avatar real???????????

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hahahaha i dont think so, i found it online and sent it to all the trainers at work for inspiration.... i think its friggin hilarious!

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Posted by Moonmist09

it looks like i will be the only other bride to side with Veronica.
This is a very touchy subject and everyone feels differently about it.
Let me preface it by saying tht i truist FH completely and know he would never do anything to hurt me.
HOWEVER, we both feel that having other men/women drool, fondle, straddle and gyrate all over you is completely disrespectful to your partner. Like V said, if i wanted this, I can go home to FH and ask for it and he feels the same.
With that said, many women don't let it bother them.
So it comes down to what you , personally feel about the situation.

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I agree with this

I feel that if he wishes to spend money to watch someone else's boobs jiggle around, then I'd prefer that he no longer sees mine

Just my .02

And I had no idea that strippers at a bachelor party was a prereq for getting married

I don't really care, but I feel that the idea of 'oh, we have to do it because it is a Bachelor Party' is ridiculous

Ok I am saying my piece....

Let me preface by saying I trust my FH 100 % and he does the same. He does not want a strip club or strippers for his Bachelor Party, but his BM might just try and incorporate it... FH knows how I feel on this topic and I trust he respects that.

Without being too specific about how I make my living.....

I run into a lot of $hitty people. Amongst them strippers and the majority of them are drug abusers(IV Heroin users, Crack, etc). With that comes the need to make more money to support their habit.

With that being said I rather FH not go to a strip club and have any sort of lap dance. The thought of an IV drug user or crack smoker grinding all over FH makes me sick and the thought of them enticing FH to spend more money to support their habits(for the ones that do) makes me even more disgusted. The strippers thought is 'if I just grind harder maybe I can get an extra 10 minutes which is 20 bucks and 4 bags of heroin.'

In most cases when the FH is the center of attention because it is a bachelor party his buddies will most likely throw money for a lap dance, champagne room, or multiple lap dances. Most men don't say no because what type of guy do you look like in front of your friends when your like 'no man..im good' etc etc. This increases his chances of having some dirty disease infested 'being' all over your FH.

If I wanted that I would have FH roll around in a puddle of HIV and Hep C.

Just my 2 cents!

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Posted by GlitterBox24

Doesnt bother me one bit...

We are both having seperate destination bach parties, but doing a big joint one here at a strip club.

As someone said, if hes spending all hs time in a strip then there is a problem, but for a bach party, i really dont see the big deal.

I actually had a convo regarding this with some guys at my job who are married, and their wives have no problem with it, one actually made a good point. He said girls should be more worried about their men at a club where they can meet a girl that actually likes them and not at a strip club where these chicks really only want $.

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ITA!!!
I wouldn't worry about a strip club.. Wish mine would have done the same.

I don't really see the big deal about FH going for his bachelor party. I trust him, so I know nothing will happen. And I know him well enough to know that he agrees that strip clubs are gross, but it's not a big deal to go. He's told me on multiple occassions that he finds it kind of awkward, but it's just a thing some guys think you should do for a bachelor party. We both agree it's the guys who insist on going and get all into it that are the ones you might need to worry about. But most guys (at least FH and most of his friends) could take it or leave it.

No offense to any of you ladies on here who might disagree, but I just don't understand why girls get so upset and then demand that their FH not go.

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Posted by Tippy

Ok I am saying my piece....

Let me preface by saying I trust my FH 100 % and he does the same. He does not want a strip club or strippers for his Bachelor Party, but his BM might just try and incorporate it... FH knows how I feel on this topic and I trust he respects that.

Without being too specific about how I make my living.....

I run into a lot of $hitty people. Amongst them strippers and the majority of them are drug abusers(IV Heroin users, Crack, etc). With that comes the need to make more money to support their habit.

With that being said I rather FH not go to a strip club and have any sort of lap dance. The thought of an IV drug user or crack smoker grinding all over FH makes me sick and the thought of them enticing FH to spend more money to support their habits(for the ones that do) makes me even more disgusted. The strippers thought is 'if I just grind harder maybe I can get an extra 10 minutes which is 20 bucks and 4 bags of heroin.'

In most cases when the FH is the center of attention because it is a bachelor party his buddies will most likely throw money for a lap dance, champagne room, or multiple lap dances. Most men don't say no because what type of guy do you look like in front of your friends when your like 'no man..im good' etc etc. This increases his chances of having some dirty disease infested 'being' all over your FH.

If I wanted that I would have FH roll around in a puddle of HIV and Hep C.

Just my 2 cents!

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Well put!

Ok I have to add a bit more bc it seems some women keep bring up the words 'I trust him'.

Do I think DH is going to cheat on me at a strip club? No. He would skeeve them too much to do it. BUT if you have never gone to a strip club or ever met a stripper and got to ask about all that goes on in the 'Champagne Room or 'VIP', then you would realize it isn't about trusting whether he'll cheat on you. It about what they do to them. Especially the groom.

I do not want ANYONE other then myself rubbing against my husband. Bare breasts being rubbed on their faces, dry humping, etc... Think about it? It's no big deal? It's VERY personal VERY PERSONAL. If he sat at a table and just WATCHED them on the pole - Ok it's still creepy, but I consider that like watching porn. Nobody is touching you. BUT when a half naked (or fully naked in some countries) woman or multiple women through the night is grinding away on his lap - NO EFFIN WAY! It Will NEVER be ok with me. P.S. the groomsmen buy the groom lap dances ALL NIGHT LONG - so it's never just one.


But still, everyone has a right to their opinion. And it may not bother everyone. But continuously bringing up TRUST... it has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with respecting yourself and your wife.

OK break out the
I feel much better

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Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Ok I have to add a bit more bc it seems some women keep bring up the words 'I trust him'.

Do I think DH is going to cheat on me at a strip club? No. He would skeeve them too much to do it. BUT if you have never gone to a strip club or ever met a stripper and got to ask about all that goes on in the 'Champagne Room or 'VIP', then you would realize it isn't about trusting whether he'll cheat on you. It about what they do to them. Especially the groom.

I do not want ANYONE other then myself rubbing against my husband. Bare breasts being rubbed on their faces, dry humping, etc... Think about it? It's no big deal? It's VERY personal VERY PERSONAL. If he sat at a table and just WATCHED them on the pole - Ok it's still creepy, but I consider that like watching porn. Nobody is touching you. BUT when a half naked (or fully naked in some countries) woman or multiple women through the night is grinding away on his lap - NO EFFIN WAY! It Will NEVER be ok with me. P.S. the groomsmen buy the groom lap dances ALL NIGHT LONG - so it's never just one.


But still, everyone has a right to their opinion. And it may not bother everyone. But continuously bringing up TRUST... it has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with respecting yourself and your wife.

OK break out the
I feel much better

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Yuck!!! I still don't understand why a bachelor party should revolve around a strip club. And then the couple gets married in a church in front of God. What a fcucking contradiction to what a marriage is supposed to be about. I've seen bachelor parties which were held in the lower level of Govenor's Comedy club (Medford) when I used to work there as a cocktail waitress. And believe me, it's not a pretty site. Lets just say Corona bottles were going in other places besides the mouth. I also saw some oral s e x being given to one of the strippers by a guy who looked to be about 50. Hopefully he wasn't married. It was basically an orgy. Maybe it's different in an acutal strip club because there are bouncers. But if you have a problem with it, definitely tell your FH. If it were me, I would definitely be talking to FH about how hurt I would be if he went.



EDITED to note that the word 'orgy' doesn't get censored.

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Posted by Chelechel1

Yuck!!! I still don't understand why a bachelor party should revolve around a strip club. And then the couple gets married in a church in front of God. What a fcucking contradiction to what a marriage is supposed to be about.

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^^^^^

At first I didn't want FH to go to a strip club but then he explained to me that it's kinda like a right of passage for guys (kinda like rushing a frat). If you don't have that experience you kinda feel left out when it happens to the next guy.

I put my foot down on private strippers! DO NOT let you FH have a private stripper. It's basically like hiring a prostitute. You should hear the stories!

lol i 100% agree with u and just to add- No man will say No and look like a pus*y in front of his friends- sorry but its true .

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Posted by PhyllisNJoe

Ok I have to add a bit more bc it seems some women keep bring up the words 'I trust him'.

Do I think DH is going to cheat on me at a strip club? No. He would skeeve them too much to do it. BUT if you have never gone to a strip club or ever met a stripper and got to ask about all that goes on in the 'Champagne Room or 'VIP', then you would realize it isn't about trusting whether he'll cheat on you. It about what they do to them. Especially the groom.

I do not want ANYONE other then myself rubbing against my husband. Bare breasts being rubbed on their faces, dry humping, etc... Think about it? It's no big deal? It's VERY personal VERY PERSONAL. If he sat at a table and just WATCHED them on the pole - Ok it's still creepy, but I consider that like watching porn. Nobody is touching you. BUT when a half naked (or fully naked in some countries) woman or multiple women through the night is grinding away on his lap - NO EFFIN WAY! It Will NEVER be ok with me. P.S. the groomsmen buy the groom lap dances ALL NIGHT LONG - so it's never just one.


But still, everyone has a right to their opinion. And it may not bother everyone. But continuously bringing up TRUST... it has nothing to do with trust and everything to do with respecting yourself and your wife.

OK break out the
I feel much better

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Posted by Chanwich

Preface: This is not directly aimed at you, but a general statement.

I've been so quiet on this topic in the past, but I strongly feel that if you can't trust your own FH, you probably shouldn't be marrying him!

Yes strippers are skanky, but in the end you have to trust that he is marrying YOU and that its all just fun for him and his boys.We are going to be their wives, not their mothers, they are big boys,and it should be their decision what to do for their bachelor party, not ours.

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ty for saying that! if you cant trust them now! what kind of marriage will it be. there will always be skell women who can do things for years to come. if you cant trust it- now especially- it doesnt say much. bc even if a guy was flaunting his sh+t in front of me i wouldnt cheat- and i know fh wouldnt either!!!