I am not talking about the kind you bounce or throw, I am talking about the big ones you have to have to do the kind of thing I am about to tell you....
I have 3 flower girls. One is my cousin, the other 2 are FH's cousins. When we were ordering the dresses for the girls, FH's Aunt (the mother of the girls) gave us a hard time about it because she wanted to pick them out. I told her it wasn't her place to do that and she told me that if I wanted to pick the dresses I should pay for them! Can you believe the nerve? Anyway, I ordered the dress for my cousin (made to match my BM dresses) in the meantime because she said that she wouldn't order over the internet. We figured when Sarah's dress came we would show it to her and she would see it was nice and we could order matching dresses for her daughters. I come to find out yesterday that she went out and had dresses for her daughters custom made with out ever seeing the dress I bought for the first flower girl! Now the only dresses that will match will be her daughters. My cousin will be in a completly different dress. Meanwhile who knows what color, style or type of dress she took it upon herself to get.
FH is fuming. I am livid and we called his mother last night and told her that if the dresses aren't right (how could they be?), those girls will not be in the wedding. FH's mother is upset because she wants to see her nieces walk down the aisle, and FH's grandmother want to see her grandkids walk down the aisle so I end up being the bad one if we don't let them in the wedding. His aunt apparently doesn't care and is banking on the fact that we will be pressued to let them walk down in the dresses she chose.
Like I said before...........Balls!
eroxgirl
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Misty....I like how you think!!
taraalissa
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You know what the worst part is? If I were to let it go and allow them to wear the dresses for the sake of keeping the peace, my cousin looks like a fool. Her 2 girls are wearing the same dress and my cousin is wearing a different one. It looks as if my aunt couldn't get the right dress for her daughter.
OctBride03
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Why don't you give your cousin a 'special' job and that's why she's in a different dress!!! Stick it up your FH's aunt's a$$!!!
Misty
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Do not allow this woman or anyone around you to force you into anything.
If you do come to the decision, ON YOUR OWN, to let these girls walk down....make them go first...followed by your cousin..ALONE right before you..wearing a TIARA!
eroxgirl
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That's exactly why those two girls can't be in the wedding...your cousin will shine! Don't worry!
HappyEverAfter
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This is the reason I am not having kids in our bridal party, I would have loved to but cannot deal with the parents!!! Its amazing when little kids act more mature than the parents. I say stand your ground though, you dont want the FGs not matching. What a shame that the mother messed this up for her girls. Edited to say that I DO like the idea of your cousin walking down first, followed by the other 2 girls. How different are the dresses? You may be able to get away w. it without anyone really noticing, if you really want to include all three girls.
Ronnie&Theresa
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Tara..
You need a HUG bc you are having NOTHING but Problems..
STICK TO YOUR GROUND!!!
CutieLipps
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Misty - Your ideas are GREAT!!! That would definitely stick it to your FH's Aunt. A tiara - I LOVE IT!!!
JoRo
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I love the tiara idea too!! Taralisa I feel for you so much . this post made me so mad. who the heck does she think she is gosh!!!! i'm not suggesting that you cave, but i know what you mean about being the bad guy either way. i know you must be mad (i am mad for you) but perhaps it won't look as bad as you think. if your cousin's dress matches the BM dresses then everyone will notice that. plus, she will stand out because she is alone. that can be a good thing! i think if you let your FH's Aunt have her way it will be okay as long as you do something to make your cousin feel special (like the tiara!!) or something else that is a bit non traditional and maybe even nasty. is it possible to have the two girls follow YOU in. at that point no one will even notice them . your cousin will be a star. the other two get to walk down the aisle and satisfy gramma and they will love it, but there is no way they steal the show anymore. I have seen little kids follow a bride once before and they held her train (not saying you have to do that). but maybe that would work. (and that will fix your aunt!).
so sorry this is happening to you. UNBELIEVABLE the nerve some people have!!
allure
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HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL!I hope all is well w/you i have been following your story w/your old moh i hope you find peace soon
bride082003
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oh wow, and I thought I had it bad!!!! some cohones on that one!!!
nena1275
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People are ridiculous !!!! They should make their own decisions for THEIR wedding, not yours !!!! Balls !
avesur
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It is your wedding not hers!!!! Don't let her ruin your day, and be strong!!
jennbaby
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Just when I thought I have read it all....Your FMIL needs to talk to this woman!!
WishCandy
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Tara - I feel so bad for you! I was fuming when I read this post! How dare she... you need to lay down the law now and let her know that the girls will wear what you picked or they can sit in the pew w/her. And you find her behavior totally uncalled for and insulting. I can't believe the balls that this woman has. I would've given her both barrels!!!! The one good thing is that your fi is on your side about this, but, don't let grams pressure you in to doing anything. If she says anything, tell her that you have no objections and that you want them in the wedding - but, they have to wear what you picked... and that if she's so worried about not seeing them walk down the aisle then, she should have a talk w/their mother!
tarakinspa
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Holy cow!! I agree with Misteyeyed since they dont match have them serve another purpose, but remember not to hurt the girls feelings, they didnt do anything, seems like this was all their mom and they be excited to be part of it so I would make sure to still include them somehow if this is your solution. Good Luck!
