Basically....I just told off my bridal party....
You girls all know about the drama that went down last week with my bridal party and my bachelorette party. I asked my MOH to cancel it and she didn't bc she feels bad. Now MORE drama started today. I had ENOUGH. It is not right for me to be literally throwing up every day because of my nerves and stress these people are causing!! I wrote them all a letter.......I think it might still be a little nasty, but I edited it A LOT and took out a lot of other nasty things I wanted to say. Here it is, let me know if you think it was totally wrong:
I am writing you girls this letter because enough is enough. I have kept my mouth shut for so long for fear of sounding like a pushy bride or a *****, but I've just had enough.
I really cannot get over the amount of drama and problems going on. And this is not directed towards one person individually, but the group as a whole, since it has not been just one person causing problems, but several. A bridal party is supposed to HELP, not stress out! For quite awhile, but more predominately in the last week, I have done nothing but listen to bitching about my wedding. This is supposed to be HAPPY. Out of the entire wedding process and planning the most stress I have had is from the bridal party. When I asked you to be in my bridal party, I asked you because I felt you were an important person in my life. Its very disheartening to find out just where I place in some of your lives. Especially at a time that is supposed to be so happy and exciting for Jay, myself and our families.
I don't even know if you girls realize what you are doing to me, but maybe if everyone took a step back, stopped complaining and thinking of themselves, you would see. In the last week I reached the end of my rope. I have literally been sick to my stomach every day over all of this and thats not right.
I didn't speak up in the beginning about things that were bothering me and thats my fault. I just couldn't get over the fact that I was being told 'no' and thought maybe I was being unreasonable. After speaking with other brides and other girls who are presently in wedding parties, I find out I am not being unreasonable at all. I asked for silver shoes and was told 'No, I want black'. So, I went with black shoes. I asked that they be open-toe. I was told 'No, I want closed toe'. So now, half of you are wearing open toe, half of you are wearing closed toe and its just progressed from there. It leaves me sometimes wondering do I even have a say in my own wedding when it comes to the bridal party??
Now, when it comes to my bachelorette party and shower (which I am not even supposed to be included in knowing certain things), all I get are phone calls and emails yelling at me that its too much money or that you won't be coming for some reason or another. Half the time, I don't even know what you are talking about since I was included in on plans, as it should be. The last thing I ever wanted to do was put people in debt, but in my defense, you knew when you accepted that certain costs go into being in the bridal party. In addition, if you knew you had a budget or financial difficulties you had all these months to go to Erin, my Mom, or myself and maybe something could have been worked out. I don't think its right to now-so close to the wedding-make me feel guilty about things I am not even supposed to be involved in. I have been so upset the last week about people complaining about my bachelorette party and shower that my parents have offered to pay for my bachelorette party. Pretty sad when my parents have to offer to pay for my friends to take me out, huh?
I am not trying to make myself sound like a saint, but I feel I have always been there for you girls. Every celebration you have had-birthdays, graduations, showers, etc. we have been there. Jay and I went through a VERY rough year last year, both emotionally and financially, but we were still always there for anything we were invited to.
Since it is such a huge inconvenience for everyone, I have asked Erin to please cancel my bachelorette party. I really don't want one at this point.
In addition to that, if you don't want to be in my bridal party, please let me know now and you are off the hook. I don't want anyone feeling forced to be a part of my wedding.
I am writing you girls this letter because enough is enough. I have kept my mouth shut for so long for fear of sounding like a pushy bride or a *****, but I've just had enough.
I really cannot get over the amount of drama and problems going on. And this is not directed towards one person individually, but the group as a whole, since it has not been just one person causing problems, but several. A bridal party is supposed to HELP, not stress out! For quite awhile, but more predominately in the last week, I have done nothing but listen to bitching about my wedding. This is supposed to be HAPPY. Out of the entire wedding process and planning the most stress I have had is from the bridal party. When I asked you to be in my bridal party, I asked you because I felt you were an important person in my life. Its very disheartening to find out just where I place in some of your lives. Especially at a time that is supposed to be so happy and exciting for Jay, myself and our families.
I don't even know if you girls realize what you are doing to me, but maybe if everyone took a step back, stopped complaining and thinking of themselves, you would see. In the last week I reached the end of my rope. I have literally been sick to my stomach every day over all of this and thats not right.
I didn't speak up in the beginning about things that were bothering me and thats my fault. I just couldn't get over the fact that I was being told 'no' and thought maybe I was being unreasonable. After speaking with other brides and other girls who are presently in wedding parties, I find out I am not being unreasonable at all. I asked for silver shoes and was told 'No, I want black'. So, I went with black shoes. I asked that they be open-toe. I was told 'No, I want closed toe'. So now, half of you are wearing open toe, half of you are wearing closed toe and its just progressed from there. It leaves me sometimes wondering do I even have a say in my own wedding when it comes to the bridal party??
Now, when it comes to my bachelorette party and shower (which I am not even supposed to be included in knowing certain things), all I get are phone calls and emails yelling at me that its too much money or that you won't be coming for some reason or another. Half the time, I don't even know what you are talking about since I was included in on plans, as it should be. The last thing I ever wanted to do was put people in debt, but in my defense, you knew when you accepted that certain costs go into being in the bridal party. In addition, if you knew you had a budget or financial difficulties you had all these months to go to Erin, my Mom, or myself and maybe something could have been worked out. I don't think its right to now-so close to the wedding-make me feel guilty about things I am not even supposed to be involved in. I have been so upset the last week about people complaining about my bachelorette party and shower that my parents have offered to pay for my bachelorette party. Pretty sad when my parents have to offer to pay for my friends to take me out, huh?
I am not trying to make myself sound like a saint, but I feel I have always been there for you girls. Every celebration you have had-birthdays, graduations, showers, etc. we have been there. Jay and I went through a VERY rough year last year, both emotionally and financially, but we were still always there for anything we were invited to.
Since it is such a huge inconvenience for everyone, I have asked Erin to please cancel my bachelorette party. I really don't want one at this point.
In addition to that, if you don't want to be in my bridal party, please let me know now and you are off the hook. I don't want anyone feeling forced to be a part of my wedding.
