Being a step mom......

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We spoke about it and I decided I don't want my EX there, and needless to say his EX better not show her face!!! She doesn't even know when we're getting married.

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I wish that I felt maternal towards FH daughter but I dont. I have come to the realization that I may never. It's almost shameful to admit because I love kids, and I LOVE my godson who is the same age as FH daughter. But I almost feel annoyed with her most of the time. I have talked about this alot with FH and I was completly honest with him.

The transition has been hard for me because for the first year of our relationship he didnt get to see her. He got visitation rights and now she is supposed to be with us twice a month. Her mom has been to my house to drop her daughter off, but she lingers which irritates me. Also, she has made comments about FH being a 'house husband' because she saw him cooking through my kitchen wondow! YES she lives across the street with her husband and another child!!!!!!! I feel like she cant let go, because of the little comments she has made to FH; like how big my ring is, and how he will be my downfall!!! I mean get real and let it go, it's been almost 9 years!!! I know that it's not FH's daughter's fault but somehow I cant separate my irritation. I know it's childish but it's how I feel for now.

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Posted by RachelisEngaged

I wish that I felt maternal towards FH daughter but I dont. I have come to the realization that I may never. It's almost shameful to admit because I love kids, and I LOVE my godson who is the same age as FH daughter. But I almost feel annoyed with her most of the time. I have talked about this alot with FH and I was completly honest with him.

The transition has been hard for me because for the first year of our relationship he didnt get to see her. He got visitation rights and now she is supposed to be with us twice a month. Her mom has been to my house to drop her daughter off, but she lingers which irritates me. Also, she has made comments about FH being a 'house husband' because she saw him cooking through my kitchen wondow! YES she lives across the street with her husband and another child!!!!!!! I feel like she cant let go, because of the little comments she has made to FH; like how big my ring is, and how he will be my downfall!!! I mean get real and let it go, it's been almost 9 years!!! I know that it's not FH's daughter's fault but somehow I cant separate my irritation. I know it's childish but it's how I feel for now.

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While I do not feel the same way about my future stepchildren, I can understand how you might feel that way.
Firstly---how on earth do you live across the street from her? I would move instantly...that would cause friction even in the best situation. JMO. Secondly---maybe you need to just try to ignore her comments. My FH's ex makes comments every now and then...for example when she hears he's cleaning...she'll make a comment about how he never cleaned before. My response is yeah 'I got the new and improved version'...and proceed to laugh it off. It's her own jealousies that cause her to make comments. Instead of letting eat you up, realize that...it should make you feel good. for you....

bumping to see if any new women out there in my position!!!

I'm a step mom and it's not the best situation. The ex girlfriend hates me (refuses to meet me) which makes it hard to co-parent a child. They broke up years before DH and I ever met but she still blames me I am the only woman who DH ever introduced to their son. He dated over the years since he dumped the ex but never anyone serious enough to meet his son.

My step son was really great at first but that was years ago now and before we got married. Once we got married his mom went even more crazy (realized DH would never be her husband) and she has since tried to make his life miserable. She lies all the time to their son. She has even told my step son that I was cheating with DH when he was with his ex He did later realize his mom was lying to him but it still damaged our relationship. He was telling his teachers that his parents were getting back together (his mom told him that). He later asked DH why he got married and why couldn't he just date me or live with me I know that was the ex talking since kids do not say things like that.

He is really quiet now when he comes to visit and barely talks to me at all. I am pretty sure his mom told him not to talk to me and not to eat anything I prepare. I did get him to eat here recently though by making spaghetti. All kids seem to like spaghetti

I do not see him much anymore and when he comes to visit DH usually takes him around to see the family and they go to the park and to Chuck E Cheese and all that. I tend to work on those weekends.

I am confident that he will get past it but I am not trying to force the issue. I rarely liked any of the women my dad dated and I gave them all a hard way to go so I guess this is pay back on a larger scale

Anyone seen pigs flying today

DH's ex was actually NICE to him this morning when he went to get his son. DH & his son went to breakfast and are spending the day together.

Apparently she had an overnight date and the guy was there around 9 a.m. when DH showed up. I hope this new guy sticks around for a while and that the her insanity does not show until the guy is hooked.

I will be a stepmom. My Fh daughter is 7 and we have a great relationship. I do have to say that we did go through some rough patches. FH and I started dating when his daughter was 3. His ex was always weird with me, but I was ok with that. When we got engaged all hell broke loose and then she was so rude to me. She convinced Fh daughter that I was a bad person. At 5 years old if your mom tells you someone is bad you listen. At that point FH daughter wouldn't listen to me and it trully was rough. Thankfully it only lasted a few months. Fh had a long talk with his daughter and explained the situation. I think Fh daughter realized her mother was wrong.

Its a couple of years later and everything is great now. FH's ex is actually nice to me now. She is dating and finally has come to grips that it is better for their child if we are civil with one another. There are some days that I still want to choke her and wish she would go away. I just remind myself that I have FH and how much I love his daughter. I am not sure how long she will be civil with me, but I can only hope it will last forever.

Good luck Everyone!