Bi sexual husbands

Janice Posted: Dec 17, 2004 10:44 AM

Bi sexual husbands

I watched a movie last night with Collin Farrell where he is in love with his girlfriend, but in the past had relations with his male best friend. I also know someone who was openly gay throughout his 20's, then goes and marries a lady and has 3 kids, claiming he changed. If you fell in love with your guy, then he turns around and starts telling you homosexual stories from his past, would you still marry and persue him?

BMD'sPeanut Posted: Dec 17, 2004 10:50 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

Posted by Janice

I watched a movie last night with Collin Farrell where he is in love with his girlfriend, but in the past had relations with his male best friend.

Are you talking about A Home At The End of The World?

If so, I think the relationship the three of them had was a little odd.

marymoon Posted: Dec 17, 2004 10:54 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

I'd still marry him but i'd want him to go to counselling first to make sure that being with a woman was what he really wanted. I know people who got married bcause they thought ti was what they wanted (it's drilled into you head for so long) and they thought they loved the person they married, but they were ultimately unhappy b/c they really desired to be with someone of their own gender. freaky. but I don't see why I'd call off the engagement. Maybe I'm a more open person that others. I had a boyfriend who was bi once. I'd definitely want to talk about it a LOT, but as long as he really wanted to be with me, then no problem. As long as they ultimately want to be with me and only me, who cares who else they've been with?

Janice Posted: Dec 17, 2004 10:55 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

yeah that was the movie!! it was really weird , I don't know if I liked it or not. I thought it was going to be about the 2 guys fighting over the girl, I was shocked what it turned out to be

Janice Posted: Dec 17, 2004 10:57 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

I don't know what I would do, I could not imagine life without DH, but I would be shocked about that kind of past. DH is a great looking guy who works in restaurants, I hate the thought of these young girls around him, then I would also have the guys on my mind too, I would be exhasted. hehe

ambersmom Posted: Dec 17, 2004 11:00 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

I had something like this happen. I started dating this guy who was an aquaintence and I knew something was 'off' but there was no way I was going to straight out ask him if he was gay. Well, one night some friends asked me to go to a well known gay club, and being the free spirit I was back in the day, I said 'Why not??'. I was having a great time with my friends when who did I literally bump into?? My boyfriend. Never told him I was going. That was confirmation enough for me. Called it off after that. We're still friends but he never admitted being either bi or flat out gay but he's very-super-extremely 'private' about his weekends, getaways, outside interest and friends, etc. and strangely enough, never married. He kept telling our friends he was going to marry me (while we were together) because he wanted a family so desperately. Sometimes I think bi's or gays get married/involved for that reason alone. I know that was probably his reason. Too bad too, because he was soo smart and cute too

tourist Posted: Dec 17, 2004 02:31 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

Posted by Janice

he is in love with his girlfriend, but in the past had relations with his male best friend.

If it was far in the past & a brief thing- especially in the teens, I wouldn't bother me.

if I had 'experimented' I wouldn't want it held against me the rest of my life.

I know of a case where this happened actually, & 1 of the guys is married now & the other one just recently came out.

littlebookworm4 Posted: Dec 17, 2004 04:09 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

I would have to call it off. It's just something that I wouldn't be strong enough to deal with.

MCDO15 Posted: Dec 17, 2004 08:03 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

based of to the answer of this question, i'm shocked at the results...

when he was telling about his old lover stories, were they sexual stories are just funny things that happen when he was with the other guy?

guy, girl, doesn't matter.. he had a relationship and end of story... if he brings up sexual stories you he was getting busy with the wife...that would be freaky

lolita4life Posted: Dec 17, 2004 10:53 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

im shocked how many ppl would break it off.... does it reallllly matter if you both are CURRENTLY in love with EACH other?

MrsTC Posted: Dec 18, 2004 08:41 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

Posted by lolita4life

im shocked how many ppl would break it off.... does it reallllly matter if you both are CURRENTLY in love with EACH other?

currently is fine but marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime...how could someone feel secure knowing that your FH / DH has tendencies towards men? So - for let's say, 40 yrs of marriage, in all that time he is not going to be tempted at all - and if he acts on it, then he is cheating! I would NOT be comfortable with that!

september2004 Posted: Dec 18, 2004 10:02 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

would i break it off if already married? not unless i had reason to believe he was cheating...

would i break off a relationship prior to marriage because of it? yes.

i would like to think i would 'know' these types of things prior to tying the knot, however one can never be 100% sure of anything...

i have no problem accepting different types of lifestyles, i just personally wouldn't want to be associated with it because it's not something i'm into.

lolita4life Posted: Dec 18, 2004 10:39 AM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

Posted by MrsTC

currently is fine but marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime...

::::::::::::::::Exactly! So why would you leave him b/c he's bi?!?!::::::::::::::

how could someone feel secure knowing that your FH / DH has tendencies towards men?

:::::::::::::::well all straight guys have tendancies towards women.. not really any different. a guy can cheat no matter who with.::::::::

julz33 Posted: Dec 18, 2004 12:19 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

I am also shocked at how many people would break it off. What I find amusing is that it is 'cool' for girls to have bisexual experiences (based on polls and posts I have seen on LIW)but if a guy did in the past then we should want to break up with him? DOUBLE STANDARD!?!?!

MrsTC Posted: Dec 18, 2004 05:12 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

I didn't say I would break up with him if we were already married - I believe in committment and working things out. But if we weren't married yet -well, lets just say I'd have second thoughts.

And I love how people say 'Oh no way I can't believe all the people who would break up with their FH / DH' etc etc.. have you ever been in this situation? Well, I have not (thank God) - but think about it - people say one thing and then it's a whole diff ballgame when you are actually in it! And this applies to anything - like the poll stated, murder, drugs, children.....unless you have been in those shoes - you shouldn't judge!

lolita4life Posted: Dec 19, 2004 02:55 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

mrstc.. you are right about how we say so quickly what we would do .. even though we havent experienced it...

IMO i just cant imagine breaking up with him b/c he is Bi.... how can love just change like that ya know.... but thats just me.

RedHead Posted: Dec 19, 2004 03:22 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

My thoughts on this...I truly believe that people are born either straight or homosexual..Most people know which team they bat for most of their lives and even the people who are 'confused'...DEFINATELY know by their 20's...
So, IMO, anyone who is/was confused in their mid 20's..is usually trying to repress their homosexuality and this issue will surface again anytime in life...something i am not willing to wait to possibly happen.

IMO...bisexuality is a life style choice, whether is it accepted or not, male or female...it is a choice that is made, not inherent. And someone who has made a choice to experiment with their sexuality...well again isn't for me.

So for the above reasons i would not stay with someone (married, engaged or dating) who has had any homosexual experience...
I am not into being with 1. someone who possibley has repressed their homosexuality or 2. choose to experiment with homosexuality..
And yes it would be hard, yes i would have loved him but i love myself more!

lolita4life Posted: Dec 19, 2004 05:13 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

I truly believe that people are born either straight or homosexual..

i guess that would definatly sway someones decision then.

i personally do not believe this (obviously). i feel it is possible to love either sex and/or be attracted to opposite or same as well.

RedHead Posted: Dec 19, 2004 07:23 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

Posted by lolita4life

I truly believe that people are born either straight or homosexual..

i personally do not believe this (obviously). i feel it is possible to love either sex and/or be attracted to opposite or same as well.

SO then you think that homosexuality is a choice? Environmental?

lolita4life Posted: Dec 19, 2004 07:57 PM

Re: Bi sexual husbands

Posted by oct.2004bride

Posted by lolita4life

I truly believe that people are born either straight or homosexual..

i personally do not believe this (obviously). i feel it is possible to love either sex and/or be attracted to opposite or same as well.

SO then you think that homosexuality is a choice? Environmental?

biological