booking the church

so a friend of mine told me, or should I say warned me, yesterday that when I go to book the church dont tell them you booked the hall already.....I didn't understand why. she proceeded to explain that she made this mistake and her priest yelled at her that the church should be the most important thing to u. and she also told me that they are going to try to convince us to have a full mass, bc it's the right thing to do!

that's not what we want!

she got married many years ago so I was wondering if any of you ladies had an experience like that?

Re: booking the church

I have heard of some priests getting insulted. I did not sign my reception hall contract pending booking the church. I also booked my wedding within 10 months. Since you are getting married in 2015, I am sure your church is not even taking bookings. Call your church and see when your should book for 2015. I would be vague but not lie.

As for a full mass, I have never heard of anyone having a problem. I went with a full mass and it is about 15 minutes longer and they do communion.

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

The priest didn't ask any questions about the venue. He told FH and I that if we wanted a full mass he had to see us on Sundays for mass but we don't want a full mass and he didn't try to talk us into it.

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

we def dont want a full mass I know that! I didnt realize you have to wait that long. if that's true how do they expect you to book with them first lol. I was gonna call soon do I guess I'll find out then. right now we are trying to decide my church or his childhood church ( his mother that pared away was very active there)

Re: booking the church

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Posted by dariamarie2

The priest didn't ask any questions about the venue. He told FH and I that if we wanted a full mass he had to see us on Sundays for mass but we don't want a full mass and he didn't try to talk us into it.

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what church if you dont mind me asking ?

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

I always read on here that you should pretend you're booking the church first, which just strikes me as weird. It's unfortunate that some priests get bent about something like that, but many don't and, as was my case, some don't even ask. A lot of them know better than to alienate people further by scolding them.

As for pushing the full Mass, I never heard of such a thing. They offer ceremonies because a ceremony is a perfectly viable option! So even if a priest did try to push a Mass, I'd tell him that you want a ceremony. But I really doubt he'd push a Mass on you guys to begin with!

Re: booking the church

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Posted by Lori0413

I always read on here that you should pretend you're booking the church first, which just strikes me as weird. It's unfortunate that some priests get bent about something like that, but many don't and, as was my case, some don't even ask. A lot of them know better than to alienate people further by scolding them.

As for pushing the full Mass, I never heard of such a thing. They offer ceremonies because a ceremony is a perfectly viable option! So even if a priest did try to push a Mass, I'd tell him that you want a ceremony. But I really doubt he'd push a Mass on you guys to begin with!

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thanks!

Re: booking the church

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Posted by xBudgetBridex

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Posted by dariamarie2

The priest didn't ask any questions about the venue. He told FH and I that if we wanted a full mass he had to see us on Sundays for mass but we don't want a full mass and he didn't try to talk us into it.

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what church if you dont mind me asking ?

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St. Patrick's in Smithtown

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

We did a 'pencil hold' at our venue then went to the church to book our date. The priest asked us when we were looking for and we told him the date. We booked more than a year and a half before and the whole day was open so we got to pick whatever time we wanted. We only did a ceremony and the priest didn't try to convince us to do a mass. He just said if we changed our mind we could always switch to a full mass. I was really scared to go to the church, but it wasn't bad at all.

Re: booking the church

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Posted by Lori0413

I always read on here that you should pretend you're booking the church first, which just strikes me as weird. It's unfortunate that some priests get bent about something like that, but many don't and, as was my case, some don't even ask. A lot of them know better than to alienate people further by scolding them.

As for pushing the full Mass, I never heard of such a thing. They offer ceremonies because a ceremony is a perfectly viable option! So even if a priest did try to push a Mass, I'd tell him that you want a ceremony. But I really doubt he'd push a Mass on you guys to begin with!

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I agree with this!

My priest didn't ask but we brought it up because we were trying to figure out what time to have our ceremony. We told him our cocktail was at 6 and he didn't seem to mind that we had already booked our venue. As for the full mass we were not pushed at all to do one. In fact it's actually assumed that you are having a ceremony only service until you request a full mass.

Also, you should be definitely able to book your church now. We did almost two years in advance.

Re: booking the church

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Posted by MarryTheNight24

We did a 'pencil hold' at our venue then went to the church to book our date. The priest asked us when we were looking for and we told him the date. We booked more than a year and a half before and the whole day was open so we got to pick whatever time we wanted. We only did a ceremony and the priest didn't try to convince us to do a mass. He just said if we changed our mind we could always switch to a full mass. I was really scared to go to the church, but it wasn't bad at all.

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I ireally hope I have the same, bc I'm really scared now too! because I'm already booked at My hall! didn't think anything about church first!

Re: booking the church

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Posted by GoingToBoyle

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Posted by Lori0413

I always read on here that you should pretend you're booking the church first, which just strikes me as weird. It's unfortunate that some priests get bent about something like that, but many don't and, as was my case, some don't even ask. A lot of them know better than to alienate people further by scolding them.

As for pushing the full Mass, I never heard of such a thing. They offer ceremonies because a ceremony is a perfectly viable option! So even if a priest did try to push a Mass, I'd tell him that you want a ceremony. But I really doubt he'd push a Mass on you guys to begin with!

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I agree with this!

My priest didn't ask but we brought it up because we were trying to figure out what time to have our ceremony. We told him our cocktail was at 6 and he didn't seem to mind that we had already booked our venue. As for the full mass we were not pushed at all to do one. In fact it's actually assumed that you are having a ceremony only service until you request a full mass.

Also, you should be definitely able to book your church now. We did almost two years in advance.

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ok good! I know my church has alot of info on web. Fri weddings only have a 5pm time slot which is perfect and if they only have the one slot I gotta book it asap! his I couldn't find any info!

Re: booking the church

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Posted by xBudgetBridex

so a friend of mine told me, or should I say warned me, yesterday that when I go to book the church dont tell them you booked the hall already.....I didn't understand why. she proceeded to explain that she made this mistake and her priest yelled at her that the church should be the most important thing to u. and she also told me that they are going to try to convince us to have a full mass, bc it's the right thing to do!

that's not what we want!

she got married many years ago so I was wondering if any of you ladies had an experience like that?

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I would call to see if you can book the date. I was able to a little under 2 years in advance. I booked the venue first, but didn't tell them. It says on some church websites you're supposed to book the church first. No one asked me if I booked the venue, so I just didn't supply them with the info lol.

Re: booking the church

Due to me eventually moving before the wedding I started the whole church thing. When I went I told the guy the date that I wanted and when he asked my about the reception I didn't say that I had already booked it but I didn't say that I did. He didn't really mind since it is still a little ways away.

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

We were actually told by our venue not to mention we booked with them first and the church second. Our priest didn't ask if we booked the venue yet and we didn't mention it. As we were leaving, the priest did say to us good luck searching for a reception hall. We just said thank you and left.

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

I agree with the rule about the priest wanting you to pick them first. However, I fully believe in a God that understands that on Long Island, RHs book fast and need to be booked first :) Honestly, the priest is an older man..he doesn't know to ask about the details, just don't respond with 'Oh no, we already booked the hall' just say the date and time you want, there may be no reason to elaborate. If there is, just say its very important to have this day/weekend/time, whatever the case may be (you're super religious grandma's only wish is for it to happen on this day). You don't put a deposit down or anything, so you can always shop around for other churches without them knowing.

As far as convincing you to do a full mass, I always thought this was the case and was very surprised when my priest was quite the opposite. He said he would only recommend a full mass if the majority of your group is that religion and it would be meaningful for them. I guess he is tired of people opting out of receiving gifts. We did not mention that most of our crowd would be catholic because we wanted the nuptual mass only. So, maybe if they are pushing it, say 'Well quite a few of our guests are not catholic (or whatever religion you are) so we wouldn't feel comfortable having the full mass...we will take care of that on Sunday :)' Angel faces on, of course.

My biggest fear going into that meeting was being caught living with FH. We got around it by me writing my parents address on everything. Oh well.

Re: booking the church

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Posted by cconaty94

I agree with the rule about the priest wanting you to pick them first. However, I fully believe in a God that understands that on Long Island, RHs book fast and need to be booked first :) Honestly, the priest is an older man..he doesn't know to ask about the details, just don't respond with 'Oh no, we already booked the hall' just say the date and time you want, there may be no reason to elaborate. If there is, just say its very important to have this day/weekend/time, whatever the case may be (you're super religious grandma's only wish is for it to happen on this day). You don't put a deposit down or anything, so you can always shop around for other churches without them knowing.

As far as convincing you to do a full mass, I always thought this was the case and was very surprised when my priest was quite the opposite. He said he would only recommend a full mass if the majority of your group is that religion and it would be meaningful for them. I guess he is tired of people opting out of receiving gifts. We did not mention that most of our crowd would be catholic because we wanted the nuptual mass only. So, maybe if they are pushing it, say 'Well quite a few of our guests are not catholic (or whatever religion you are) so we wouldn't feel comfortable having the full mass...we will take care of that on Sunday :)' Angel faces on, of course.

My biggest fear going into that meeting was being caught living with FH. We got around it by me writing my parents address on everything. Oh well.

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I didn't think of the living together thing!! -but actually now that I think about it I never changed my license, it's still my parents address.... but that's still lieing :/

my other fear is..... what mass do u attend.....um my grandma funeral... oh before that um in the year 2000....

I did also figure out what to say if they say something about booking the hall first abd it's tech half true! we didn't think we would have the money fir a limo so we were planning on getting married at hall with a ppriest.

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

We booked the venue before the church but that was only because our meeting with our Priest kept getting pushed back. He didn't even ask us about it. It was our choice for full mass or not, but because we are doing a Friday he suggested just a ceremony. FH an I don't live together yet but that wasn't even brought up at any point. Even though our wedding isn't until 2015 we were still able to book it and sign up for FOCCUS and Pre-Cana.

Re: booking the church

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Posted by Amanda2022

We booked the venue before the church but that was only because our meeting with our Priest kept getting pushed back. He didn't even ask us about it. It was our choice for full mass or not, but because we are doing a Friday he suggested just a ceremony. FH an I don't live together yet but that wasn't even brought up at any point. Even though our wedding isn't until 2015 we were still able to book it and sign up for FOCCUS and Pre-Cana.

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ummm what's FOCCUS? I knew about pre cana........

booking the church - Long Island Weddings

I think it all depends on your priest and church. I did book my church first but I honestly don't think our priest would have cared if we had already booked the RH. He actually said he was happy that we simply chose to get married in church since so many couples these days get married elsewhere. As for pushing a full mass, he simply asked what we wanted.. I said I wasn't sure yet and he said okay well you have plenty of time to decide. I'm so happy my priest is so laid back since that's how FH and I are.