Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

silyss Posted: Jun 28, 2010 11:59 AM

Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

Hi girls, I am a bridesmaid for a friend of mine and her MOH emailed the BM's for ideas about the shower, and that we'll all be splitting the cost.

Is it the customary thing to have BM's and the MOH split the cost of the shower and also bachelorette party?

I would also like to know b/c my MOH is under the impression that she will be paying for the bridal shower by herself.

TIA!

AdriandSteve Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:01 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

It depends on the MOH's situation I think.

From what i've experienced, the MOH and BM split (or should split) the cost of the bridal shower and if possible the MOB also adds $.

For the bach party the MOH and BM split things.

Lsorrent Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:17 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

Posted by AdriandSteve

It depends on the MOH's situation I think.

From what i've experienced, the MOH and BM split (or should split) the cost of the bridal shower and if possible the MOB also adds $.

For the bach party the MOH and BM split things.

What she said

AngnShaun Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:19 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

in my experience for the most part everyone contributes... some showers its been minor contributions, some have been major contributions... depends on the situation and the people involved

silyss Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:35 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

Thanks. Do you think it's a bit inappropriate for the MOH to ask the BM's to contribute equally for the shower?

piggymel Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:37 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

I'm just having my BM's buy the dress. My mom is throwing the shower.

silyss Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:38 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

Yeah..

But I can't exactly say I don't want to chip in for the shower.. I just hope it won't be a lot of $$.

AngnShaun Posted: Jun 28, 2010 12:46 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

Posted by silyss

Thanks. Do you think it's a bit inappropriate for the MOH to ask the BM's to contribute equally for the shower?

i dont know if its inappropriate... i never really thought to ask if the MOH was contributing more or the same as the BM's

CrazyLove11 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 01:23 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

I'm used to the mother of the bride throwing the bridal shower and the bridesmaids equally contributing for the extras like games, etc.. or maybe favors

AdriandSteve Posted: Jun 28, 2010 02:03 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

Posted by silyss

Yeah..

But I can't exactly say I don't want to chip in for the shower.. I just hope it won't be a lot of $$.

This would be the time to get together with the MOH and BM and discuss who can afford what so that everyone is on the same page from the beginning.

Aliaxtra Posted: Jun 28, 2010 02:15 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

As far as i remember-

The MOB throws the shower..

My bridal party helped my mom order things, decorate the restaurant the day of, etc..but nothing financially...

But my bridal party also chipped in and bought me a load of personal items...including a tiffany bracelet, etc..

I have also been in 4 weddings and not once was i asked to chip in for the shower..

HTH

adelya21 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 02:26 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

In my case, my MOH and FMIL are throwing my shower not my mom because FH's side arent paying for the wedding. Also, IMO I think its pretty normal to ask BM's for money but as long as the people who are throwing it dont go crazy with spending bec they assume they have so many people contributing.

GiannisWifey Posted: Jun 28, 2010 02:39 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

I know it to be the mother of the bride pays for the shower..........this is what the majority of my friends showers were like, as well as my cousins and my sisters.. The MOB pays and im sure some BM offer ideas, suggestions, decorating help but not financially. I personally don't think my mom would ever expect/ask my BM's to contribute money to it.

Lucky2010 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 02:54 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

MOB usually pays for the shower. A friend of mine is in a wedding where the BMs were not asked but TOLD by the MOH that they had to contribute x amount of dollars to the shower and it wasn't an anticipated cost for them. I thought it was very rude. Unless it's discussed and agreed upon in advance with the BMs.

edited for typo!

AugustBridein09 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 03:06 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

My MOH & mom paid for my shower

MOH paid for my bachelorette party . (we went to a bway show so she bought everyone's tickets and then we all went to dinner and she paid).

Panamasweet Posted: Jun 28, 2010 03:20 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

I think when you accept to be a BM you understand that there are certain monetary responsibilities that come along with the title. That being said i think whoever is planning the events....bparty or shower....should ask each BM what they think is fair BEFORE they start planning and booking unless they are prepared to put in the difference.

In my case i am having 2 showers and my mother is planning and paying for 1 and my FMIL is planning and paying for the other. Both said they didnt want any money from any of the girls. One of my BM planned my bparty but she did ask for for an equal amount $85 from each person to help pay for the hotel room for 2 nights.

tiffndan611 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 04:54 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

i think i will be having my bridesmaids just pay for there dresses and throw the bachelorette party and my mother i believe will be throwing my shower.

DaniandKen2010 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 05:24 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

It depends on the situation. My entire bridal party is chipping in equally for the shower and planning it all since my mom has passed. The last wedding I was in the mom refused to throw a shower so we all again chipped in equally and other showers the MOB paid and all the girls chipped in equally to get something big off the registry. It depends on the situation.

Have the entire bridal party chat and see how much each girl can contribute and if the MOB will be involved at all.

silyss Posted: Jun 28, 2010 05:58 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

Thanks girls.. it does seem like every situation is different.

LMEL1223 Posted: Jun 28, 2010 07:11 PM

Re: Bridesmaid responsibilities?!

I have been a BM in a few bridal parties where I was asked to split the shower with all the other BMs and the MOH ... However, this was considered our gift to the bride and so instead of buying her shower gifts we threw her the shower.