Re: Bridesmaid vent......

I also think that if it makes you uncomfortable, then she should respect you enough to leave him home. It seems like theres more to the story. I mean how long have they been dating? If they just started then you guys or she shouldnt be thinking about him coming to the wedding already. I do think you should sit and talk to her, since she is one of your oldest friends. communication is important. maybe if you talk to her in person and let her know t hat this is upsetting you. Good Luck :)

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

Find a bridesmaid replacement. If she cannot respect your feelings on the most important day of your life she is not fit to be a friend or a bridesmaid.

Karen

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

Thats terrible and you have every right to be annoyed. Tell her like it is. If she doesnt like, cut your losses early. Is she truly repects you and your family she will do the right thing.

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

Awh, I think it is really cute of your FI to call your friend and stick up for your feelings!

Of course you're over it, but it's your wedding! Not just some get together that she's bringing him to. You'd think the ex wouldn't want to go either.
Not sure of your wedding date, but who is to say that they'll still be together? I think she should respect your wishes, as it's YOUR WEDDING.

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

I totally agree with everyone else. Why should you, your FH, and your parents be uncomfortable on YOUR wedding day. Speak to her yourself and let her know how you feel. If she is truly your friend she will understand.

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

Hi Stacey, Me & my John saw your John at Mobil the other morning. We were in a hurry so apologize to him for me not being more sociable.

If this were your true friend, she would understand he is not wanted at the wedding, she'd put him aside for oneday (she should put him aside for good IMO).

Why is it always that it's always what everyone else wants on YOUR (OUR) day?!?!?

If she doesn't respect your wishes as a friend, then she isn't one.

Good Luck Stacey! I can't wait to see the house!

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

I totally agree with you. He should in no way be @ your wedding. She shouldn't even be dating him in my opinion-but she will have to learn the hard way that is not a good guy (so it sounds like) I can't believe she would even have the nerve to insinuate (sp?!) something like that!!

Good for your FH for speaking up about it-what kind of friend does she think she is? How would she feel if the tables were turned? I agree with michele31 that she is just a jealous girl grasping @ straws for attention!

Good luck with this sticky situation. Any half-decent friend would not stress you out with something like this on what is supossed to be the happiest day of your life!!

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

OK I'm adding to my post.....this seems to be some kind of pattern with this girl....this is her ex's (that she just broke up with) cousin?????????? that is so bizarre--there are a bitrillion guys in the world and she keeps on choosing ones who have some connection to someone else in her life.....sorry this stuff makes me mad...why the heck would she think you want this dude @ your wedding?!?!?! sorry I had to vent some more.....

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

I under no certain circumstances would I ever want an EX at my wedding!!!

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

You are not wrong. She's the one that's wrong and should respect your feelings. I hope things work out for you.

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

I can't believe she has the gall to even think of bringing him to your wedding. I wouldn't want any of my exes at my wedding, especially the one that my family doesn't like. If she's your bridesmaid, she must be a good friend of yours, and I wouldn't expect such poor behavior from my worst enemy. I hate people who always find someone to blame for them not being happy. Like not bringing him to your wedding would be the end of the world. I say, tell her to get over it, it's your wedding.

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

I don't think the particulars matter. If you do not want this person at YOUR wedding, that is it. End of story. You are not wrong or selfish, your 'friend' is. Good luck!

Re: Bridesmaid vent......

this thread has turned into a problem with dating a friend's ex issue, so I have to chime in...

I guess I'm the evil one - I met my husband though my ex (who I dated for 5 years). Our breakup was slow and painful, but not necessarily evil (we both knew it was coming and wanted different things - he wanted to sleep with everything that walked by and I didn't want him to). My husband and my ex were friends since high school. I met Al a few months into the relationship with his friend but we weren't close until the last few months.

Anyway, a month after the friend and I called it quits, Al and I started dating. We kept it quiet for a few weeks (so if it didn't go anywhere, no one needed to get hurt) but eventually we let people know. And we broke it gently to the ex. He was angry at first but got over it eventually and he went to Al's bachelor party and our wedding in April...though we haven't gotten a gift from him yet

Anyway, the point of this thread shouldn't be about who's she's dating, but about respecting the feelings of the bride and groom. Its not about him being an ex - You shouldn't have anyone at your wedding that treated you badly or that will make you uncomfortable. And your friend should respect that.

(as a side note, my ex just had this happen to him again, but way worse. A really good friend of his snuck around behind his back for more than 6 months with his latest ex and lied to him about it repeatedly. The couple is still together but the two guys aren't friends anymore. Not because he's dating the girl, but because he lied about it for so long). Moral of the story: my ex didn't realize how great his girlfriends were, but his friends did