C-sections...

This is going to be my last response. I am only responding to correct information, and I am going to make it short and sweet. I dont mean to be kicking the dead horse.

I also spoke often to the OBs on our site and they never once told me that my info was wrong or false.

Maybe some of the info you have as correct, but by reading the previous posts, I can tell that there is a lot of information missing. If you dont know what a catheter or APGAR is, I know that you are not familiar with the running of a labor and delivery unit, and the aftercare of the baby. I am not meaning to be insulting, I am just pointing out that you are misinformed.

I was actually VERY calm the day of my surgery. I never once showed signs of being upset or being afraid.

In your post about your letter to your midwife, you seemed like you were very upset in the hospital. Thats why I was assuming that you were upset at that time.

I never once said to put the baby at risk, but most mothers who deliver vaginally hold their child right away, before ASPAR scores are done- correct?

Not necessarily. APGAR scores are ALWAYS done at 1 and 5 minutes after birth. Some nurses can do the 1 minute APGAR right after the vaginal delivery when the baby is being cleaned off and they are laying her/him on your belly. You dont actually get to sit there and hold him/her for as long as they want.

You cannot say that ICAN is full of crack pots who come into the ER with dead babies. That is unfair to those women.

Not all of these women are crackpots. But there are some that are very extreme, and put thier personal birth plan ahead of the safety of themselves and thier babies. The reason why the infant mortality rate is low isnt by accident. There are reasons why these interventions are done in the hospital. There have been many times when home births fail and babies and mothers die. Especially when performed by a lay midwife.

I am totally done with talking about this. I will not respond anymore.

So am I.

but most mothers who deliver vaginally hold their child right away, before ASPAR scores are done- correct? Well with a c/s you cannot

I also think it has to do with the fact that delivering vaginally ables the baby to clear mucus easier by descending down the birth canal and c-section babies often have more mucus. I'm not a doc but I remember learning that in nursing school and that's why they need to be suctioned and checked out right away.

Kelly...thank you for sharing your story with us. It brought tears to my eyes again!!

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Posted by DaniRN

but most mothers who deliver vaginally hold their child right away, before ASPAR scores are done- correct? Well with a c/s you cannot

I also think it has to do with the fact that delivering vaginally ables the baby to clear mucus easier by descending down the birth canal and c-section babies often have more mucus. I'm not a doc but I remember learning that in nursing school and that's why they need to be suctioned and checked out right away.

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Dani, I have heard that too. I know from my own experience that I did not get to hold Paul right away either, and he was born vaginally. The APGAR scores came first, and so did taking his vital statistics and cleaning him up. We 'bonded' about 15-20 minutes later, after the placenta was delivered, my stitches were complete and my doctor and the baby's doctor were satisfied that we were in stable condition.

The only 'immediate' contact I had w/him was when they placed him on my belly, and when Jeff went to cut the cord, Paul promptly peed on his Daddy!

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Posted by Lisa Rose

Kelly...thank you for sharing your story with us. It brought tears to my eyes again!!

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Thanks Kelly!!

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Posted by DaniRN

I also think it has to do with the fact that delivering vaginally ables the baby to clear mucus easier by descending down the birth canal and c-section babies often have more mucus. I'm not a doc but I remember learning that in nursing school and that's why they need to be suctioned and checked out right away.

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Dani, you are right, I forgot about that! I try to get my delivering ladies that walk through the door to L+D fast! You have never had an exercise until you have to push a wheelchair up an elevator at lightening speed!

I was trained how to assist in an emergency delivery, but I hope Im off that day it happens in the ER!

Lee
I have created and nurtured life
You got me all choked up

m31- This is a feeling that I have and I don't want any other women to ever feel it too. Youve got to be kidding me. I think reading all your posts has effected EVERYONE that has read them (especially those that have yet to become mommies, whether that was the intent or not)
I cant imagine what YOU would have posted to 'yourself' if you had read all of your own posts BEFORE you gave birth... (copy and paste opportunity again?)

Kelly-your story was powerful and amazing to read. I give you SO MUCH credit for going through that, somewhat alone and at such a 'young' age. You sound like an amazing woman, and a great mom.

Claud Paul promptly peed on his Daddy!
IS that love or what??

Dani - that is very true about the mucus. Ryan was very congested in the hospital and for a few months after. I was told by the great staff at the hospital, as well as my peds, that because c-sec babies don't get 'squeezed' like a vaginal delivery they tend to be more congested for the first few months. Ryan also had a small and flat nose so the infant congestion lasted about 4 months!! My DH followed them around as they suctioned him quite a bit!!

Claud - that is so funny about the peeing! It reminds me that Ryan also peed right after he came out and the doctor was joking around when they weighed him that he only weighed 8 lbs. 15 oz. because he peed - he's like 'If he hadn't peed he'd be a 9 pounder!!'

Kelly - thank you for your amazing story - you are an amazing woman and Mom!!

Lee Thanks for sharing, Ryan is amazing! Those eyes <-- dreamy!

It so nice to read all these amazing stories

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Posted by Lee

'If he hadn't peed he'd be a 9 pounder!!'

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John Anthony peed on the nurses that were taking his APGAR scores. I have a pretty good picture of it too

I wasn't going to post in here either since I didn't have a c-section, nor did I have a terrible labor or birth (I'm one of those lucky ones who didn't need an epidural). But I will comment about holding the baby immediately after giving birth comment.

I did not get to hold Gianna as soon as she came out due to the fact that they did the APGAR test right away, tested her glucose levels (since I had GD) right away and also had to give her the Hep B shot right away (I have the antibodies for it -- I've never had it, but since I had 2 blood transfusions at birth and they didn't screen back then, I have antibodies for it and am a carrier). Joe was given her first while the dr delivered the after birth and stitched me up. Joe didn't get to cut the cord either because the NICU nurse was waiting to take Gianna to NICU -- where she spent her first 4 hours (my dr asked her to let us have a few minutes longer then usual). I finally got to hold her after all this was done and only for about 10 minutes before they had to take her away. Did I feel remorse? To be honest, I was still half looped from the Staidol and was just trying to concentrate on what was going on. And thinking back on it, no I don't. I was just so incredibly happy she was here and was fine -- she came out screaming and hadn't stopped even when they brought her to NICU!!

Joe had told our parents how much hair she had, etc, and they were all telling me this when they talked to me later on, but I had no clue because I only saw her with that hat on and I didn't get to 'really' see her until 9AM that morning -- she was born at 1:52AM, so I got her 7 hours later. Then we really bonded. And haven't stopped!!

Like everyone said before me -- everyone does not have the same pregnancy, nor does everyone have the same labor. After all, don't we associate the word 'pain' with delivery? Some have more then others, but there is going to be some sort of pain involved!!! Come on, look what we're pushing out for crying out loud!!! Everyone has a different experience and the bottom line is that a HEALTHY BABY is born. I've said it before -- I could give a flying fig how Gianna was born, just as long as she was born healthy! That's all that mattered to me after going through what I went through beforehand.

I'm not diminishing anyone's pain or story, but I think that after reading about how some of our friends here can't conceive, have miscarriages or other fertility issues, I think we should all be incredibly thankful for what God has blessed us all with. I for one know the heartache and heartbreak of going through one miscarriage, let alone several. On the otherhand, I know now the sheer joy and pleasure of having a child and with all my heart I wish that all my friends could experience that joy as well and I pray every night that they can. :hug

Even if my labor and birth was terrible, I would want to do it again in a flash. To me, it's the end result that counts -- not the way the baby came out!!

I do not have children, but hope to some day, and I have found Michele's posts on her experience to be honest and informative. I am trying to learn all I can about being a mom and delivering a healthy, happy baby.

One thing that really scares me about c-sections is that you need to really trust that the doctor is doing it not because he or she wants a one hour operation vs. a possible 24-hour labor. I want the experience to be the best for me and my baby, and not have anything to do with convenience for the hospital, its staff, or its budget.

Of course, c-sections are not always done for convenience. Of course, they are usually medically necessary. But does that mean one can't ask questions? Have feelings about it?

Personally, I am grateful for the information and sharing of experiences on this board because it educates me and will help me have good dialogue with my OB. To all the moms

Kelly, thank you for sharing your story. It was so very touching!

As most of you know, I am not a mommy but I often lurk on this board b/c Im very interested about the whole process of pregnancy and child rearing.

And I can tell you as an outsider that this board SCARES ME! And it has NOTHING to do with experiences being relayed by anyone. (b/c I come here to read first hand accounts of motherhood and that is what is so interesting) What does scare me is that I see an extremely competitive and discorded relationship going on under the apperance of being supportive. And I wonder if all mothers are like that? Should I expect to have this tension if I were become a mother? Will every decision I make as a mother be frowned upon if its not the current popular opinion?

Its not just this thread, I see a lot of disrespectful comments flying around shrouded as something else. Whether it being the SAHM vs. Working mom discussions, the public school vs. private school discussions, the boy vs. girl discussions, etc.. It seems that everyone thinks 'their' way is the right way and any other decision is someway stupid or a sign of bad mothering. (Obviously, no one is saying that but it seems to come across to me and Im not even a mother!)

Anyway - this is just my opinion and my feelings. Maybe Im the only one.

Stef while I can see your point about this thread. I have to disagree on a whole. I find this group of women to be extremely supportive. This is actually the first time on this board I have ever seen any kind of 'tension' That's why I love this board

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Posted by Sonicstef
Its not just this thread, I see a lot of disrespectful comments flying around shrouded as something else. Whether it being the SAHM vs. Working mom discussions, the public school vs. private school discussions, the boy vs. girl discussions, etc.. It seems that everyone thinks 'their' way is the right way and any other decision is someway stupid or a sign of bad mothering. (Obviously, no one is saying that but it seems to come across to me and Im not even a mother!)

Anyway - this is just my opinion and my feelings. Maybe Im the only one.

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My thought on this comment is that this happens in many different areas....including different sites on this board! Some brides this it's crazy to do X while others love X, etc!

I think that's just one trait of most people...many are going to think their way is the better way or else why would they make their first original choice? Am I making any sense? This could apply to child rearing, parenting, competiting for a top grade in college, etc.

I guess the difference would be how you come across communicating your feelings/opinions and doing it in a respective and positive manner.

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Posted by Sonicstef
I see an extremely competitive and discorded relationship going on under the apperance of being supportive.

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This is completely not true. I think you've read WAAY too much into things. This board is VERY supportive, and we, like everyone else are allowed to have different opinions. There are often disagreements, but RARELY is their any bashing. I think the C-section thread is the worst it's ever gotten around here, and that's because labor and birth are highly emotional subjects for the people who have experienced them. Yes, this thread went too far, but look at the subject matter. If this thread were about stroller brands or whether or not to use a pacifier, I'd agree with you 100%.

I see NO competition here at all. No one has ever (to my knowledge) bragged about their child (which we all are VERY MUCH entitled to do, and do it often) without celebrating the achievements of every other child, or NOT cheered on a mom-to-be. I know that there are probably women here who don't care for me, but yet I feel that when I was pregnant and when Nicky was born, I had the full support of EVERY woman who posts here, and I appreciate that with all my heart and will return that.