C-sections...

Sonistef - no pun intended, huh 'belabor'?

Anyway, although I don't want to really get involved in this whole discussion, I have make a few comments. First, if you've read my other recent posts about my c-section, I was happy to have had it, it went beautifully, and I had my wonderful time holding Rebecca a few hours after she was born, and by that time, I felt nothing but ABSOLUTE PURE joy!!! No regrets at all.

BUT, when I was being induced, I really did want to try to deliver naturally. And, when I finally decided, along with the doctors, to have the c-section, I first talked separately to both my husband and my mom, for them to convince me that I was not a failure for not being able to deliver naturally. Looking back, I KNOW I was not a failure, and each of them virtually laughed when I said this to them at the time, and they both told me that the goal was to get a healthy baby and a healthy mommy, and who cares how you get there! And while that was TRUE, and it made ALL THE SENSE IN THE WORLD, I did feel somewhat like a failure. At least, I convinced myself not to feel bad because I had felt contractions! I wanted to feel contractions so badly. I know that sounds crazy, but I wanted to get as much of the 'birthing' experience as I could. And, I did get the contractions!!! Although painful, they were part of a beautiful process of life!!!

Let me also say that although I was feeling something like a bit of a failure before she was born, the minute I heard her cry, all of that completely drifted away, and I was, MOST IMPORTANTLY, a mommy, and all of a sudden, that's all that mattered to me!

That's just my PERSONAL experience, and is not meant to be taking sides with anyone on the Board - just wanted to share my experience.

To everyone trying to conceive, I know your pain - not because I had a hard time conceiving (I was VERY lucky, I know that), but during the past ten years, I've had FOUR operations for ovarian tumors (all benign, thank goodness), and each time they had to cut more and more of my ovaries away, and I was always told that I might not be able to conceive. So, for ten years I was living with that possibility. And then, I was blessed with a baby. Yes, blessed, and I KNOW IT!!!

I wish you all the best.... I'm glad we're all here for each other!

Well said, and AMEN!!!!


Anna, let me know which diner --in Suffolk or in Queens -- since you'll get there before me, I'd like a cup of coffee and grilled cheese on whole wheat, no butter!!!

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Posted by bearsbabe_113

Well said, and AMEN!!!!


Anna, let me know which diner --in Suffolk or in Queens -- since you'll get there before me, I'd like a cup of coffee and grilled cheese on whole wheat, no butter!!!

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I want a chcolate shake

Lauren your story was absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

Lauren, thanks for sharing
this
made me want to cry
the minute I heard her cry, all of that completely drifted away, and I was, MOST IMPORTANTLY, a mommy, and all of a sudden, that's all that mattered to me!

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Posted by jennbaby

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Posted by bearsbabe_113

Well said, and AMEN!!!!


Anna, let me know which diner --in Suffolk or in Queens -- since you'll get there before me, I'd like a cup of coffee and grilled cheese on whole wheat, no butter!!!

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I want a chcolate shake

Lauren your story was absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

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I know it's the afternoon but I want a ham and cheese omelet with french friesw/mozzarella cheese and brown gravy

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Posted by jennbaby

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Posted by Claud2001

To claim that Michele is wrong or not permitted to post her feelings and emotions about her personal experience b/c it might upset someone who is desperately TTC, is like ME saying that I'm devasted and can't bare to hear that Anna, Liz and Victoria are all preggo w/their second child, when their first kids are all younger than Paul and I can't (for my own health and medical reasons) TTC my second child yet. Of course, this is not how I feel, but it's the best example that I can give. This collective aggression is misplaced and very sad.

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Claud are you saying we are letting our aggressions out on Michele cause some are having difficulties TTC? You have said this once before and I think thats a bit crazy!

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No Jenn...that is truly NOT what I'm saying. I am saying that alot of this aggression against Michele is being taken out of context....just like I WOULD be out of context to be upset at Anna, Liz and Victoria for creating a 2nd child before I did. Perhaps I did not explain myself clearly enough, but that was the best example I could give to try and illustrate my point.

I just feel like everyone needs to 'own' their personal feelings and NOT internalize someone else's....(okay, now I feel like I sound like Dr. Phil!)

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Posted by Stacey1403

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Posted by jennbaby

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Posted by bearsbabe_113

Well said, and AMEN!!!!


Anna, let me know which diner --in Suffolk or in Queens -- since you'll get there before me, I'd like a cup of coffee and grilled cheese on whole wheat, no butter!!!

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I want a chcolate shake

Lauren your story was absolutely beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

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I know it's the afternoon but I want a ham and cheese omelet with french friesw/mozzarella cheese and brown gravy

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Cheeseburger, no bun, and an unsweetened iced tea, please.

Since everyone is placing orders, I will take either pancakes or waffles with eggs and turkey bacon and a nice cup of hot chocolate.

Jennrenee- no french fries w / that?

I think I would like some mozzarella sticks, now I am getting hungry

I just jumped back on -- and I am now hungary!! LOL

I want a Cheesburger, with all the toppings, and french fries ( with cheese ) and a large coke--- followed by a huge chocolate brownie.

Now I am about to run to Wendy's.. Thanks girls ! LOL

YUMMY -- french fries w/mozz and brown gravy!!! MMMMM, brings back those old diner after the club days!!!!

Anna, you better get a big enough table!

I was not going to bear the cold and walk to Wendy's but I think Wendys is worth the walk.

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Posted by bearsbabe_113

YUMMY -- french fries w/mozz and brown gravy!!! MMMMM, brings back those old diner after the club days!!!!

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It does!!!

I think that is why I always order it at diners to relive my youth

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Posted by tammyjill

Jennrenee- no french fries w / that?

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I'm trying to lay off carbs for a bit... but since we get together so rarely, what the hell... bring on the fries WITH cheese!

Posted by ANNA - Claud to compare yourself (and us preggos) to this is just not right (even though you dont feel that way). IF it IS right, then we can just say, lets also compare it to those moms out there who dont even have a FIRST child yet, and you have your precious son Paul. Maybe they are hurting when we post pictures and milestones of our 'first born's?
I just dont think we're comparing apples with apples. and where does it end?

I just think the TTC moms that were hurt here have valid feelings and they are just not being acknowledged.


Anna It really does not matter whether you think my comparison was 'right' or not - especially b/c you proved my intended point - where does it end? That is my point - it is not fair to say that Michele's own emotions are HURTING someone who is TTC! One has no effect on the other, IMO.

Let me put it this way - and maybe it's a better example...please bare with me, sweetie...

One of my best friends was infertile for 5 years. During possible the lowest point in her TTC experience, I became preggo. I dreaded with ALL my heart having to tell her I was with child - BUT, I could not realistically shelter her from this reality. So, I told her as gently as I possibly could. And I also told her how difficult it was for me to admit this wonderful miracle had happened so easily for me, when I knew how MUCH pain she was feeling.

She said - Claud, you are a wonderful friend and I love you for that. The fact that you would even be so concerned about MY feelings means a lot to me. But, the truth is, I hurt ALL THE TIME. It doesn't matter that you're the one pregnant or my next door neighbor, or a stranger. The pain is always there.

So...back to the original point...Infertility is a very, very painful and heart-wrenching journey and we ALL can feel sympathy and compassion for those we know AND those we don't know who have experienced it. But, these folks will feel their pain each and everyday regardless of how Michele feels about her c-section, and I don't think anything that she (or anyone else can say) can effect their OWN feelings about their personal situation.

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Posted by Claud2001

No Jenn...that is truly NOT what I'm saying. I am saying that alot of this aggression against Michele is being taken out of context....just like I WOULD be out of context to be upset at Anna, Liz and Victoria for creating a 2nd child before I did. Perhaps I did not explain myself clearly enough, but that was the best example I could give to try and illustrate my point.

I just feel like everyone needs to 'own' their personal feelings and NOT internalize someone else's....(okay, now I feel like I sound like Dr. Phil!)

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Jennbaby, I do get that I am on the outside looking in at this point. I appreciate you pointing that out gently I think I do get where you are coming from, even though I am stil TNTC (trying NOT to conceive)!

I present to you what I believe is my very first sending of baby dust

Thanks to all of you who are making me long for The Suffolk Diner, one of my most favorite places on the planet. Next time I am on LI, I will be stopping for a turkey burger deluxe

Good God - please order me a vanilla shake and some french fries covered with American cheese and brown gravy at that diner...oh, and do they serve drinks? Because I could use one...

Look, I feel partially responsible for the degradation of this thread. I think I said it several times and I'll reiterate it here: Michele, of course you are entitled to your opinions, your feelings, and you have every right to post them. I have tried to be supportive to you and to anyone else here whenever I can to return the support you all have given to me.

I never intended 'aggression' towards Michele and I'm surprised anyone took it that way. I just felt that I needed to respond to some of what she said for my own reasons - if you want to say I'm internalizing her issues as my own, well you are entitled to your opinion, but please know that I am very very happy and comfortable with my life, my birthing experience, etc. I believe I own my own feelings but am entitled to express them. As is Michele. But are we not allowed to answer each other's feelings with our own? I don't think I have any particular issues. I just felt bad for those TTC, those not even close to TTC who were getting scared of a c-sec, and for those of us who had c-secs and were perfectly comfortable with them.

I disagree about any underlying competition or comments made that imply something other than what was said. I think this board is full of supportive and very informative women and I have taken comfort in all of that many times. I hope that we can continue to support each other without hesitation and that no topic becomes taboo. Typing is always tough because things may not come out the way you want them to. I have never been able to make any of the get-togethers unfortunately but I feel very close to all of you - may I one day meet you all!!

This is clearly an emotionally charged issue - let's respect it for what it is and move on to ordering desert -- brownies anyone??

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Posted by Becky

Thanks to all of you who are making me long for The Suffolk Diner, one of my most favorite places on the planet. Next time I am on LI, I will be stopping for a turkey burger deluxe

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Becky, I'll try to be gentle when I say this, but I think they closed down.