This is a very emotional issue for so many reasons--- but I would say the things I say on the board to my best friend-- and I would hope I would get honest opinions and answers from her-- on whatever I asked. That is how I approach this board. I will tell you how I feel-- and I expect everyone to tell me how they feel if I bothered them or made them happy! That is why the boards are here. I do not find it competitive or cruel. Just honest. And good friends are honest with each other. I hope we all can get past this .
jennbaby
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
Posted by Claud2001
To claim that Michele is wrong or not permitted to post her feelings and emotions about her personal experience b/c it might upset someone who is desperately TTC, is like ME saying that I'm devasted and can't bare to hear that Anna, Liz and Victoria are all preggo w/their second child, when their first kids are all younger than Paul and I can't (for my own health and medical reasons) TTC my second child yet. Of course, this is not how I feel, but it's the best example that I can give. This collective aggression is misplaced and very sad.
Claud are you saying we are letting our aggressions out on Michele cause some are having difficulties TTC? You have said this once before and I think thats a bit crazy!
I love hearing news on this board, everytime someone is pregnant, or when pictures are posted. It gives me so much to look foward to and the news makes me so happy for these women.
Sorry but speaking on my behalf, you are wrong. I am not angry, just can not fathom someone feeling 'cheated' but thats just my opinion. Maybe the word is what got me? I do feel she IS entitled to her opinions and feelings, just like anyone else, but to keep posting them when so many feel they way they do about it, is like beating a dead horse, just like this thread.
I also will say it again, and this is just MO, but if you have no children, or are having difficulty TTC, you may feel different, (or you may not) I do. I am not posting this to cause any more problems.
Baby dust to all who want it.
shamma
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Member since
Re: C-sections...
I think the people that are having TTC issues feel hurt that someone could be blessed with a child and have feelings other than utter joy. I am sure Michele is very happy, she is disappointed in the way it all came about, nothing wrong with that. I do not think Michele is not greatful, nor does she love Molly any less. I think she is entitled to her feelings.
Michele do you feel like you were attacked?? do you feel as if you were not entitled to feeling the way you do??
No one can change the situation for those having difficulties TTC and no one can change the feelings Michele have. I guess we should just have an open mind about how everyone feels and remember that feelings are ours and no one can change them.
I wish everyone the best
anna
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
Posted by Claud2001
To claim that Michele is wrong or not permitted to post her feelings and emotions about her personal experience b/c it might upset someone who is desperately TTC, is like ME saying that I'm devasted and can't bare to hear that Anna, Liz and Victoria are all preggo w/their second child, when their first kids are all younger than Paul and I can't (for my own health and medical reasons) TTC my second child yet. Of course, this is not how I feel, but it's the best example that I can give. This collective aggression is misplaced and very sad.
It's like a gang war on here, and I have to say, Stef - if I weren't already a Mommy, I'd be scared too!
************ Claud to compare yourself (and us preggos) to this is just not right (even though you dont feel that way). IF it IS right, then we can just say, lets also compare it to those moms out there who dont even have a FIRST child yet, and you have your precious son Paul. Maybe they are hurting when we post pictures and milestones of our 'first born's? I just dont think we're comparing apples with apples. and where does it end?
I just think the TTC moms that were hurt here have valid feelings and they are just not being acknowledged.
***********
Below Not posted to Claud, just posted to the boards in general.
I'll have to state MY OWN strong opinion again.(Maybe I havent beaten the subject to the pulp yet) For someone who was disturbed by my saying that my screams were heard down the hall, since she hadnt given birth yet, and apparently didnt know a mom in labor might scream, and might not have a perfectly calm and quiet environment, it was quite 'entertaining' (to put it nicely) of her to post such long, animated posts, for months on end, and yes, some with complaints that were just not 'valid' in the opinions of many.
I dont think its a matter of who is right and wrong, and who is defending what side. We all have our own opinions and thats a part of life.
Becky
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Member since
Re: C-sections...
But, Jenn, you are saying that since some people disagree with Michelle, and she knows it, she should stop giving her opinion on this subject. What would we all talk about if we couldn't post something that was not 100% accepted by everyone?
SomedayBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
I have been lurking on Parenting since its inception, and I know that this thread has been beaten to death, but I just wanted to say one thing. Though I may not necessarily agree with everything that has been said, I am able to see everyone's point of view and I'm not sure that's the case for everyone. I for one, applaud Michele for sharing her experience. Not every woman is glowing with happiness when she gives birth. Just look at the rates of postpartum depression. Medem.com says that about 70 to 80 percent of women have baby blues after childbirth. I'm not saying that this is affecting Michele, however, seeing her story might help another new mother realize that she is not the only person in the world who is feeling this way. Everyone else ganging up on this point of view, even if it is not intentional, is not helping anyone. In fact, it will only deter people from sharing their less than perfect experiences in the future.
anna
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Member since
Re: C-sections...
Can we all just meet at the local diner, because all this typing is getting time consuming
jennbaby
Posted:
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Re: C-sections...
Posted by anna
Can we all just meet at the local diner, because all this typing is getting time consuming
shamma
Posted:
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Re: C-sections...
I agree Anna, I am getting tired of reading the long post like you write
jennbaby
Posted:
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Re: C-sections...
Posted by Becky
But, Jenn, you are saying that since some people disagree with Michelle, and she knows it, she should stop giving her opinion on this subject. What would we all talk about if we couldn't post something that was not 100% accepted by everyone?
Becky i do see what you mean and you are right. Oneday when you want a child, and I PRAY you have NO difficulties, maybe then you will understand what I (we, those who have problems) mean.
Untill then I can't explain myself anymore in words. Does that make sense, sorry
MichelleW
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
Jeez
NO ONE is saying that experiences should not be shared, and those that are TTC are not bitter, or begrudge anyone their happiness at the miracle of life, so don't even go there
Having a child is a highly emotional experience filled with tears, joy and yes maybe some pitfalls along the way. People have the right to feel that their birthing experience was not as they planned, but I will say it again IMO CHEATED is a strong word..as long as when everything is said and done you have a beautiful child and you both are healthy does it REALLY MATTER how the child came into the world
I AM SO DONE!!
anna
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
Where did Stef go? Dont throw a lit match and run the other way
shamma
Posted:
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Re: C-sections...
Roger says that we do not know how tightly a man's shoes squeezes him until we walk a mile in his shoes and in this case we do not know how the TTCers feel and we do not know how Michele feel. So until we have been on either side, all we can do is just support.
Samanthas Mom
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
Posted by MichelleW
People have the right to feel that their birthing experience was not as they planned, but I will say it again IMO CHEATED is a strong word..as long as when everything is said and done you have a beautiful child and you both are healthy does it REALLY MATTER how the child came into the world
Michelle (pheiffer) hope that made you smile and I pray for you and all those TTC every day
all I am trying to say if you can express your opinion on the word cheated we should respect you and the posts of the other Michele as well. We dont have to agree w/ each other all the time but everyone on here always preaches how we should all post our opinions and we all have to respect others but then when /sometimes we dont like what people say (yes, we can say that) but it gets all blown out of proportion and drama starts
Instead of you giving your opinion and her and this one, their opinion it turns into an ugly debate
Michele posted some very personal stuff with us, I myself dont know if I could post so personal
can this thread please die so we all get along again
ETA: hugs to all and to clarify what I was trying to say was we should all be able to say what we want w/ out hurting anyones feeling or it turning ugly Michele31 should be able to share her feelings and MichelleW hers but it should not turn into an ugly debate then no one will want to share anymore to help others
Sonicstef
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Member since
Re: C-sections...
I didnt run away - I just had said my peace. And many other girls here have said it better than I did.
I consider myself a VERY strong person. Very little intimdates me. So if something scares me, Im fairly certain Im not the only one.
Those who wanted to listen to the points that have been made and try to understand (agree or disagree), probably have so no point to belabor.
JennRenee
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
In my opinion, Michele was well respected the first few times she stated her opinion of her birth, which was done in a very strong, emotionally charged way. I was sad for her and wanted to support her as best I could, although my experience was different and I truly didn't understand hers. I'mgoing out on a limb here and saying many others felt the same way.
It was after she repeatedly claimed to have been cheated, etc. that I, as someone who fought to have a child, began to feel that perhaps her words, while valid, were starting to be hurtful to those who had difficulties, and frightning to those about to give birth. We all wanted to hear about her experiences, and felt deeply for her, but repeating it almost daily was a little upsetting to the rest of us.
Let me say this loudly so no one misunderstands...
MICHELE IS 250% WITHIN HER RIGHT TO FEEL ANY WAY SHE WANTS ABOUT THE BIRTH OF HER BABY, AND *NO ONE* CAN OR SHOULD TRY TO MAKE HER FEEL OTHERWISE.
However...
**** Michele should also respect HER OWN request that she made to Anna about not scaring others. **** <~~~ This, my friends, is the bottom line.
Now tell me, does THAT have anything to do with being a parent?? No, it's an age old respect issue that could be found any where.
Do I (and I'd be willing to bet the rest of the regulars on this board, who really have shared so very much together) still respect Michele?? Hell yes. Will this in any way stop me from offering her advice, praise, and a shoulder to cry on, or looking to her for the same? Absolutely not.
For those of you who feel that this sort of angry debate is something that goes on often here, I challenge you to prove it. Despite this debacle, which I hope is OVER, this is still a wonderful place to be.
jennbaby
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
Posted by JennRenee
In my opinion, Michele was well respected the first few times she stated her opinion of her birth, which was done in a very strong, emotionally charged way. I was sad for her and wanted to support her as best I could, although my experience was different and I truly didn't understand hers. I'mgoing out on a limb here and saying many others felt the same way.
It was after she repeatedly claimed to have been cheated, etc. that I, as someone who fought to have a child, began to feel that perhaps her words, while valid, were starting to be hurtful to those who had difficulties, and frightning to those about to give birth. We all wanted to hear about her experiences, and felt deeply for her, but repeating it almost daily was a little upsetting to the rest of us.
Let me say this loudly so no one misunderstands...
MICHELE IS 250% WITHIN HER RIGHT TO FEEL ANY WAY SHE WANTS ABOUT THE BIRTH OF HER BABY, AND *NO ONE* CAN OR SHOULD TRY TO MAKE HER FEEL OTHERWISE.
However...
**** Michele should also respect HER OWN request that she made to Anna about not scaring others. **** <~~~ This, my friends, is the bottom line.
Now tell me, does THAT have anything to do with being a parent?? No, it's an age old respect issue that could be found any where.
Do I (and I'd be willing to bet the rest of the regulars on this board, who really have shared so very much together) still respect Michele?? Hell yes. Will this in any way stop me from offering her advice, praise, and a shoulder to cry on, or looking to her for the same? Absolutely not.
For those of you who feel that this sort of angry debate is something that goes on often here, I challenge you to prove it. Despite this debacle, which I hope is OVER, this is still a wonderful place to be.
Well said & I agree
Sonicstef
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
PS: I never said that there are angry debates in here often. I said that I sometimes see supportive comments with an underlying message that is anything but.
JennRenee
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
My mistake... it was this comment that I was referring to.
I see a lot of disrespectful comments flying around shrouded as something else. Whether it being the SAHM vs. Working mom discussions, the public school vs. private school discussions, the boy vs. girl discussions, etc.. It seems that everyone thinks 'their' way is the right way and any other decision is someway stupid or a sign of bad mothering.
I post here most every day, and NEVER have I seen this. Ever.
shamma
Posted:
Member since
Re: C-sections...
Posted by JennRenee
It was after she repeatedly claimed to have been cheated, etc. that I, as someone who fought to have a child, began to feel that perhaps her words, while valid, were starting to be hurtful to those who had difficulties, and frightening to those about to give birth. We all wanted to hear about her experiences, and felt deeply for her, but repeating it almost daily was a little upsetting to the rest of us.
I think that is what most people who were corresponding to me felt.
Do I (and I'd be willing to bet the rest of the regulars on this board, who really have shared so very much together) still respect Michele?? Hell yes. Will this in any way stop me from offering her advice, praise, and a shoulder to cry on, or looking to her for the same? Absolutely not.
No matter what anyone and I go thru on this board, if they need support, I will be there to support them, disagreement or not
For those of you who feel that this sort of angry debate is something that goes on often here, I challenge you to prove it. Despite this debacle, which I hope is OVER, this is still a wonderful place to be.
