Calling off engagment

Calling off engagment

I have been engaged for a few months and i feel that i need to call of the engagement but cant bring myself to do it. 6 months after we started dating i found out that he was talking to another girl online and on the phone about sex. I talked to her, she had saved all the online conversations and sent them to me and he lied about having a girlfirend. We talked about the issues and he promised he wouldnt never hurt me like this again. Four years later we got engaged in July, then in september i found out that he ran into a girl from high school exchanged phone numbers and he was trying to convince her to come to our house to have sex with him. When i asked him about it, he lied to me and said he had no idea what i was talking about. When he finally admitted what happened he said she never came over and that he only did it because he likes knowing that other girls were intersting in him and he liked the attention. We have been having other issues to like he expects me to do all of the house work myself. He will sit on the sofa, drinking a beer. no matter how much i ask him to help he refuses. He tells me that hes tired from a long day at work but i work full time too and still have to do the house work. He gets mad if i dont do his laundry. If dinner isnt on the table when he walks in the door hes mad for the rest of the night. I have talked to him about the problems but nothing seems to change. I know that i need to leave but cant bring myself to do it. I feel guilty wanting to leave and he tells me how much he loves me, hes sorry he messed up again, and he never wants to hurt me again. Any advice at all would be great. Thank you!

Re: Calling off engagment

I am sorry that you are going through this But it sounds like you need to move on. He shouldnt be treating you like this...and his behavior is probably never going to end. Get out now before the wedding

Re: Calling off engagment

---

Posted by Christine N Ralph

I am sorry that you are going through this But it sounds like you need to move on. He shouldnt be treating you like this...and his behavior is probably never going to end. Get out now before the wedding

---

I completely agree! I am so sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard. But you NEED to get out of this relationship now. Unless you guys get couseling and things get better, I don't think you should marry him. These types of behaviors will not change just because you get married. I don't mean to be harsh, but that is just the reality. Best of luck.

Re: Calling off engagment

If he hurt you once, he will do it again. You deserve better and you will find someone that will treat you like you deserve. I would call off the wedding b/c you don't want to enter a marriage like this. A key element of marriage is trust, and it doesn't seem like you have this. I know its hard to do, but you have to put YOURSELF first. It will be tough, but your friends and family will be there to support you.

Re: Calling off engagment

I'm so sorry to hear this.

However, I think if you feel you need out of the relationship, you should do it now before getting in even deeper. It s*cks, but if this is how he's going to treat you, it's in your best interest to leave now. You don't deserve to be put down and treated like this. You deserve to be treated like a princess.

Before I met FH I was in a relationship where I felt like there was absolutely no respect and that I was being taken advantage of. I also found out (too late unfortunately) that he had cheated on me. It was so hard to break it off (it was 2 1/2 years) but I knew it was necessary. I wanted someone who would actually appreciate me and love me the way I deserved to be.

If you want to give it one more chance, I HIGHLY recommend couples counseling for you and FH before you decide to go through with marriage.

Re: Calling off engagment

You do not deserve someone who doesn't respect you or your relationship. If he is like this now marriage is not going to make it any better...if anything it'll probably get worse.

You have no reason to feel guilty for wanting to make your life better...he has to be responsible for his own actions which are all pretty much making you leave...sometimes the hardest things to do are the right things......be strong and do what's best for YOU...you deserve someone who will make you stronger, happy & be a partner in life. Sorry you are going thru this..good luck!

Re: Calling off engagment

Break it off now. You don't deserve to be treated his way. things will only get worse after you get married. I'm sorry you have to go through with this.

Re: Calling off engagment

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. But...the way that I have always felt.....once a cheater, always a cheater. Leave him before it gets worse. I know it's easier said than done b/c the thought of starting over is not very comforting, and being with him brings you to that comfort zone...but wouldn't you rather be alone and happy than together and miserable?

Re: Calling off engagment

Re: Calling off engagment

sorry to hear this.... i think you should move on, the longer you wait the harder it will be..... it seems that he has many selfish excuses for his actions which will not make for a happy and successful marriage, like the other posters said he'll do it again if hes already done it x amount of times..... hope everything woks out for you!

Re: Calling off engagment

Re: Calling off engagment

Re: Calling off engagment

So Sorry you are going through this.
But You DEF need to end this relationship! I know its easier said than done, but in this case it seems like history will repeat itself.
Do yourself a favor and move on.
I Hope everything works out for you

Re: Calling off engagment

okay if you brought yourself to write this and want to leave, you need to leave and do it now before you are standing at the alter. Obviously you dont sound happy and you do not trust him. Please do what your instincts and heart tell you!!!

Re: Calling off engagment

better to get out of it now than actually get married and than get a divorce!.... if he cant be loyal when hes engaged hes not going to change by getting married. some men even get worse. save yourself the heartache. im sure your hurting right now and you want to make it work, want things to be okay, but please dont be naive. you deserve better, theres someone for everyone, and if you lose him, some other man may come along and actually respect you and the relationship you have with him. i mean how old is he?? hes asking girls to come over and convincing them to have SEX...i mean it should have just been over at that point. hes obviously insecure if he feels that he needs to see if he still 'has his game' or he can still 'get girls'.... i hope you feel better, feel free to FM me for any talks or advice. hope you dont take anything personally, just that this has happened to a friend of mine, and shes miserable because she married him thinking things would be better...but marriage is NOT a bed of roses...

Re: Calling off engagment

It sounds like he wants a maid not a wife. You will be so much happier in the long run if you get out now. He is going to make you miserable. Fh agrees with me... He is going off on a rant right now after I read your post to him. He says get out now.

Re: Calling off engagment

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have to agree with everyone else though. Unless you and your FI go to some serious counceling I would def call of the wedding and move on. This guy seems way to immature to be in any relationship, let along married. You say you feel guilty for leaving, but it doesn't seem like he felt to guilty when he attempted to cheat on you.

I was in a long term relationship and was cheated on numerous times. I took the guy back and he did it again, and I took him back and eventually I said, what am I doing? I put MYSELF first and moved on and believe it or not it was easier than I thought once I did it.

This guy also seems pretty shovanistic, I mean dinner on the table at X time... what is this 1950? I will gladly cook dinner for my family but I wil not be treated like cr*p if it isn't once in a while. Mature self confident men will not treat you this way.

MOVE ON! he doesn't deserve you, sorry you are going through this and I wish you all the best

Re: Calling off engagment

im sorry to be so blunt...but pack it up girl..i know its hard but u need to move on soeone who loves u and wants to marry u would not hurt u in those ways

Re: Calling off engagment

I'm so sorry you are going through this.....You don't deserve to be treated this way....If he did it once before and now, he is most likely going to do it again....MOVE ON!!! You can do it... Don't stay in this relationship knowing that you are so unhappy.

Re: Calling off engagment