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Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

MarcellaBella Thread views: 1,393

Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I've stared at it for soo long, I'm going to go bananas!


WE HAVE EXPERIENCED LOVE…
IN OUR PARENTS,
OUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS
AND NOW A NEW LOVE IN EACH OTHER

TOGETHER WITH OUR PARENTS,
WE
Marcella
And
Michael Todd

INVITE YOU TO SHARE WITH US A CELEBRATION OF OUR LOVE
SATURDAY, THE NINTH OF AUGUST
TWO THOUSAND AND THREE
AT HALF PAST THREE
IN THE AFTERNOON

SAINT PATRICK’S OLD CATHEDRAL
263 MULBERRY STREET
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK

Feast and merriment will follow
Misty Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

JMO, a couple of things should be removed to make it read easier....



WE HAVE EXPERIENCED LOVE…
IN OUR PARENTS,
OUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS
AND NOW A NEW LOVE IN EACH OTHER

TOGETHER WITH OUR PARENTS

Marcella
And
Michael Todd

INVITE YOU TO SHARE A CELEBRATION OF OUR LOVE
SATURDAY, THE NINTH OF AUGUST
TWO THOUSAND AND THREE
AT HALF PAST THREE
IN THE AFTERNOON

SAINT PATRICK’S OLD CATHEDRAL
263 MULBERRY STREET
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK

Feast and merriment will follow
MSCJLK Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

Try this..I changed some of the wording...


WE HAVE EXPERIENCED LOVE…
FROM OUR PARENTS,
OUR FAMILIES AND FRIENDS
AND NOW A NEW LOVE IN EACH OTHER

Marcella
And
Michael Todd
TOGETHER WITH OUR PARENTS,
INVITE YOU TO SHARE IN A CELEBRATION OF OUR LOVE
SATURDAY, THE NINTH OF AUGUST
TWO THOUSAND AND THREE
AT HALF PAST THREE
IN THE AFTERNOON

SAINT PATRICK’S OLD CATHEDRAL
263 MULBERRY STREET
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK





Try this I changes it around
OctBride03 Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I agree with Mistyeyed

Although - together with OUR parents and then your names listed seems weird to me... I dont know why - could be me.
MarcellaBella Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

holy sheeet! I'm even more confused now! lol

OctBride03 Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I keep saying 'together with their parents' in my head and then your names listed, for some reason. But then that isn't very personable... is it?

I'm sorry Marcella... But try saying it outloud each way.... I'm not sure what sounds right? But it's up to you and honestly I don't think anyone will notice. Have you spoken to someone who actually does the invites for the proper way of wording it?

Again, I'm sorry if I confused you!
MarcellaBella Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

you left out the 'We' part.. that's probably why is sounds soo RIF lol

MSCJLK Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

FROM OUR PARENTS,
INVITE YOU TO SHARE IN A CELEBRATION OF OUR LOVE

and No WE are the changes I made
MSCJLK Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

Look at my orig, post I made some changes,,,,

OctBride03 Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I just read MSCJLK's wording and I like that way! JMO!
MSCJLK Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

Just rmemeber JMO too... ... I would read them aloud to your parents and see what makes sense to them....

MarcellaBella Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

yes, i have!! it's just that I wanted to make sure that it sounded right you know??

Misty Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

Marcella, you have forum mail.
endlessluv429 Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I think it's fine!! You'll drive yourself crazy if you obsess!!!
MarcellaBella Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I am soo crazy about the little things!

SeptemberBride03 Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I like Misteyed's version the best!

JustJodi Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I think it is more proper to say
Together with THEIR parents.

The invitation is like from a 3rd party.
WishCandy Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I like Misteyeds too!

OctBride03 Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

I agree with Happybride! Together with THEIR parents sounds best!
christine1221 Thread views: 1,393

Re: Can you please proof my invitation wording for me?

Marcella,

We used the wording ..,.

Together with our parents

my name
and
his name

request the honour ........

We went back & forth over it .... we vs. they & went with the wording this way. The woman who helped us where we ordered them suggested it this way ...


I agree ... don't stress ... it'll be beautiful either way!

edited to say:

PS.
if you are using the familiar 'our' in the general message, then use the our throughout. I wouldn't use both.

good luck!

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