Last night we went to my BIL's 40th birthday party (DH's sister's husband) Now the party was at a Bar/Restaurant and there was a lot of good food. Now one of DH's brother could not make it but his wife came with her two little daughters (4 & 1 yrs. old) after the party DH and I went back to his sister's house and they were opening the envelopes and I hear DH's sister saying 'oh you gotta be kidding me'. Apparently they opened the card from the SIL who came alone with her two daughters and she put 41 dollars in the card!
Now I know this was not a wedding but come on, 41 dollars??? what was she thinking??? she was probably thinking that it's a 40th birthday so i'll give 40 plus one dollar for good luck. She could have done better since the birthday boy is Godfather to one of your daughters and is very generous to your daughter not just for her birthday but all throughout the year. I mean everytime he sees her he gives her 20 dollars. My MIL said 'the best part is that in the car she was was saying how she hoped she did the right thing'. I'm sorry but I don't think she did. Her card was the cheapest, everyone else including friends gave at least a 100 or more.
At least he got something...I got crap for my birthday and I'm godmother to her other daughter. We spoil our nieces and nephews. she couldn't go out and get me a little something and say 'from your goddaughter??? I am godmother to my best friend's son and she got a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure with the card saying 'from your godson'. I'm not saying that I expect a lot of things, but just a little something, not even a fricking card I got from DH's SIL. Nothing! It just bugs me how we treat everyone so good and yet we get zilch in return from them. At least DH's sister and other brother get me and DH something for our birthdays and christmas and I'm not godmother to any of their children, and here my goddaughter's parents could not pick me up something. DH and I gave her daughter more for her 4th birthday than what they gave my BIL for his 40th.
I just think it was a very cheap thing to do. Sorry for the long post. Had to vent a little.
Kate07
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
I think we've all been there one time or another. My parents got a card with $15 from one of their wedding guests - and I've heard a lot of those stories on these boards.
Maybe their monetary situation isn't very good. Or else maybe they just really aren't very giving people and you'll learn to reciprocate apprpriately.
August2004
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
In all honesty she probably thought it was a nice gift like with the one extra dollar for good luck. I wouldn't call her cheap or anything in regards to that. I mean, he is 40 years old. I am 26 and I certainly don't expect people to buy me gifts if I have a bday party.
On the other hand, I think she is a little 'thoughtless' when it comes to gift giving. I mean they can at least get you a birthday card when it comes around. Some people are just like that. However, I would not start buying their children less because the poor kids parents are thoughtless.
RedHead
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Personally i think giving money to a 40 year old for his birthday is WEIRD...NOT the fact that he got 41 dollars....Did you think maybe it was a joke? Giving a dollar a year and 1 for good luck
HE isn't 12????
I would have bought a gift
ANd i think giving money to a 40 year old is silly
bedda26
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by teach2be
In all honesty she probably thought it was a nice gift like with the one extra dollar for good luck. I wouldn't call her cheap or anything in regards to that. I mean, he is 40 years old. I am 26 and I certainly don't expect people to buy me gifts if I have a bday party.
On the other hand, I think she is a little 'thoughtless' when it comes to gift giving. I mean they can at least get you a birthday card when it comes around. Some people are just like that. However, I would not start buying their children less because the poor kids parents are thoughtless.
Oh she is cheap trust me. They always cry poverty. Yet they buyt new cars, re-do their den. Right now they are re-doing their kitchen and buying an entertainment center. That's why they play it so cheap with gifts. For my shower all she got me was one piece of lingerie...Yeah that's cute as a gag gift not as a really nice gift from a SIL. Come on give me a break. You have to know this woman. My MIL lives downstairs from them and one day they ordered chinese food and after the food came they told my MIL what she owed for her order...how do you say that to your own mother. I wouldn't, especially after the all the things my mother has done for me.
I would not play it cheap with the kids because of the thoughtless parents but if I have kids one day and they get cheap gifs from them or anyone else, then things will have to change. I'm sorry but there is no way my kids are getting crap while everyone else's gets the good stuff....NOT happening!
TracyInQueens
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think that's all that terrible- they have two little kids and kids are expensive. And 40th birthday parties don't have the same protocol associated with weddings- in my family, the gifts given for 'milestone' birthdays were more small token gifts and gag gifts. That's just the way we do things. DH and I were invited to a 60th birthday for his colleague, and we were at a loss about what to get.
I think it was a little ungracious of your SIL to share that info with everyone.
bedda26
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Yeah it's ok when the party is at a house....
This party was a restaurant...You can give a gift but I tend to give money when parties are given at a restaurant.
bedda26
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by TracyInQueens
Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think that's all that terrible- they have two little kids and kids are expensive. And 40th birthday parties don't have the same protocol associated with weddings- in my family, the gifts given for 'milestone' birthdays were more small token gifts and gag gifts. That's just the way we do things. DH and I were invited to a 60th birthday for his colleague, and we were at a loss about what to get.
I think it was a little ungracious of your SIL to share that info with everyone.
There's nothing ungracious about opening gifts in front of people. Oh so it's good for her daughters to be treated like gold while they play it cheap with all the other kids....it's not just adults it's the other kids they do it to also....
RedHead
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by bedda26
Yeah it's ok when the party is at a house....
This party was a restaurant...You can give a gift but I tend to give money when parties are given at a restaurant.
ARE YOU CRAZY....I have been to plenty of parties in my time and VERY RARELY has anyone given MONEY at a birthday party JUST because it is in a restaurant...
Jeez...like you said THIS ISN'T A WEDDING...I think as a 40+ person...that is just cheesy...to give them money..silliest thing i actually ever heard...Like i said ...he isn't a CHILD!
palebride
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by TracyInQueens
Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't think that's all that terrible- they have two little kids and kids are expensive. And 40th birthday parties don't have the same protocol associated with weddings- in my family, the gifts given for 'milestone' birthdays were more small token gifts and gag gifts. That's just the way we do things. DH and I were invited to a 60th birthday for his colleague, and we were at a loss about what to get.
I think it was a little ungracious of your SIL to share that info with everyone.
I have to agree.....I don't think she did anything wrong. I think $41 is fine - and it shows some thought because he turned 40! I think it's a bit tacky of your sister-in-law to share the gift amount with everyone else....it's really no one else's business.
RedHead
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by palebride
I think it's a bit tacky of your sister-in-law to share the gift amount with everyone else....it's really no one else's business.
I agree 100%
bedda26
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
whehter it's your 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th or whatever. You should give a nice gift. Especially if the party is held at a nice restaurant and people paid for plates, My SIL also paid for My BIL's plate even though he cancelled, she was still stuck paying for his plate but I guess it's ok because it was only a 40th birthday so who cares right I mean he's not 12 or 1, so they should be grateful for the 41 dollars, ok i get it now.....come on I've had people at my wedding come and give me nothing, if that is considered cheap then so is this.
If u knew the person then you would agree trust me.
bedda26
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
By the way My SIL did not have a crowd at the house it was me and DH that was there......
and by the way I know how expensive things are for kids, I only have 10 nieces and nephews. but trust me they play it cheap with the other kids. so how would you justify that then?
why is it ok for them to tell everyone what to buy their kids but yet they the other kids get crappy gifts??????????
palebride
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
I think we're going to have to agree to disagree here..... If I were having a party for my husband....or anyone else for that matter, to celebrate their birthday - i would not expect people to cover the cost of the food with gifts. I would expect them to come and have a good time.
And I also do my best to not spend other people's moeny for them. If they want to redo their den and buy new cars....that's their business...they're not telling you how much to spend on things, so you really can't do that to them!
RedHead
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by bedda26
whehter it's your 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th or whatever. You should give a nice gift. Especially if the party is held at a nice restaurant and people paid for plates, My SIL also paid for My BIL's plate even though he cancelled, she was still stuck paying for his plate but I guess it's ok because it was only a 40th birthday so who cares right I mean he's not 12 or 1, so they should be grateful for the 41 dollars, ok i get it now.....come on I've had people at my wedding come and give me nothing, if that is considered cheap then so is this.
If u knew the person then you would agree trust me.
ANd she gave a gift...the fact that YOU and the inlaws find it cheap is YOUR issues! AGAIN i have been to PLENTY of parties and NEVER have seen anything so tacky as to give the person MONEY...Covering a plate..OMG WAKE UP..this isn't a wedding! Nobody should have ever expected money to pay for the party that THEY WANTED... I have never heard of anyting being sooo tacky or people acting so ungrateful...
bedda26
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by palebride
I think we're going to have to agree to disagree here..... If I were having a party for my husband....or anyone else for that matter, to celebrate their birthday - i would not expect people to cover the cost of the food with gifts. I would expect them to come and have a good time.
And I also do my best to not spend other people's moeny for them. If they want to redo their den and buy new cars....that's their business...they're not telling you how much to spend on things, so you really can't do that to them
