Last night we went to my BIL's 40th birthday party (DH's sister's husband) Now the party was at a Bar/Restaurant and there was a lot of good food. Now one of DH's brother could not make it but his wife came with her two little daughters (4 & 1 yrs. old) after the party DH and I went back to his sister's house and they were opening the envelopes and I hear DH's sister saying 'oh you gotta be kidding me'. Apparently they opened the card from the SIL who came alone with her two daughters and she put 41 dollars in the card!
Now I know this was not a wedding but come on, 41 dollars??? what was she thinking??? she was probably thinking that it's a 40th birthday so i'll give 40 plus one dollar for good luck. She could have done better since the birthday boy is Godfather to one of your daughters and is very generous to your daughter not just for her birthday but all throughout the year. I mean everytime he sees her he gives her 20 dollars. My MIL said 'the best part is that in the car she was was saying how she hoped she did the right thing'. I'm sorry but I don't think she did. Her card was the cheapest, everyone else including friends gave at least a 100 or more.
At least he got something...I got crap for my birthday and I'm godmother to her other daughter. We spoil our nieces and nephews. she couldn't go out and get me a little something and say 'from your goddaughter??? I am godmother to my best friend's son and she got a gift certificate for a manicure and pedicure with the card saying 'from your godson'. I'm not saying that I expect a lot of things, but just a little something, not even a fricking card I got from DH's SIL. Nothing! It just bugs me how we treat everyone so good and yet we get zilch in return from them. At least DH's sister and other brother get me and DH something for our birthdays and christmas and I'm not godmother to any of their children, and here my goddaughter's parents could not pick me up something. DH and I gave her daughter more for her 4th birthday than what they gave my BIL for his 40th.
I just think it was a very cheap thing to do. Sorry for the long post. Had to vent a little.
newnybride2be
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
ok, I can understand maybe how you are mad at how supposedly cheap she may have been for only giving 41 bucks. Trust me my mom has problems like this with my stepdads family. I just think, that it is 'classless 'to expect people to give gifts to a 40 year old man just because the party was at a restaurant. I think it was totally wrong for the sister to even be disclosing this information to other people. I do think that it could be possible that maybe the SIL thought that 41 bucks would be kinda a cute gift since the guy just turned 40.( kinda like 'and one for good luck' type of deal) Thats just my opinion on this matter.
MrsTC
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
I would have thought it was a nice gesture to put the $41 in....$1 for good luck. Who cares? What's the big deal?
edited to add: i think it depends on the personality etc...i know that if this was my DH, my MIL would give him something like that...and coming from her, it would be something she would do, and he wouldn't think anything of it. It really depends on the person.
MrsJ
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
I would be perfectly happy with $41 or a scratch off lotto card!! I don't need presents for my bday, just having a party and spending time withj my family would be enough.
I guess if there was some sort of minimum requirement on gift giving it should have been mentioned in the invitation.
IMO they gave what they could afford or what they WANTED to give.
newnybride2be
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Seriously, at what age do people stop EXPECTING bday gifts?? I think that as us adults, we should be happier celebrating with those closest to us and focusing on the time we spend together rather than being materialistic.
FeliciaDA
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Wow, this is very interesting indeed.
I really cannot say it better than many of the other posters already did.. but I agree wholeheartedly with the majority of the ladies on this thread, who stated when throwing a birthday party for an ADULT, a $$ gift is a little unheard of (IMO).
Actually I'm more offended at the fact that (1) it somehow it was EXPECTED that a monetary gift be given at a 40th b'day party to 'cover a plate' and (2) that your SIL was tacky enough to reveal to everyone what was given when she was opening the cards.
I know your origianl post was a 'vent' and that is fine .. we all do it around here. But your case is weak, unfortunately.
It seems that the issues and reasons for the 'vent' run far deeper in regards to the SIL in question -- which is the reason everyone in your family reacted the way they did to the gift of $41 ..
August2004
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
It seems that the issues and reasons for the 'vent' run far deeper in regards to the SIL in question -- which is the reason everyone in your family reacted the way they did to the gift of $41 ..
I couldn't agree more.
shamrock12472
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
I'm finding this post very interesting because I am in the process of planning a surprise 40th for my husband next year. I have to say, I would not expect people to bring expensive gifts to his party - perhaps some gag gifts but that would be it. I think gift giving gets a little out of hand some times. The main purpose of me having this party is to celerbrate the man I love on a milestone birthday with people that care and love him. I don't care if they bring anything other then themselves because that is enough!
Jan05Bride
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by teach2be
It seems that the issues and reasons for the 'vent' run far deeper in regards to the SIL in question -- which is the reason everyone in your family reacted the way they did to the gift of $41 ..
I couldn't agree more.
I agree with this. I think the issue is more of look at my stupid SIL than look at the gift. Because if one of his friends did it the other SIL probably would never had said anything, but it seems like since you have a problem with the SIL already this just adds to it.
Stacey04
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
I agree with this. I think the issue is more of look at my stupid SIL than look at the gift. Because if one of his friends did it the other SIL probably would never had said anything, but it seems like since you have a problem with the SIL already this just adds to it. ______________________________________
Definitly seems to be the problem....
Most adults only have b-day parties when it is a milestone b-day. I think it is nice to give a gift, but what the gift cost should have nothing to do with it.
It is the thought that counts.
When you are an adult you should just be happy with people wanting to share in celebrating your birthday.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
I actually think it was in poor taste to open his gifts (especially the monetary ones) in front of everyone...
I gave my cousins husband $50 for his $50 birthday. (It was a surprise dinner in a restaurant.) I thought it was sufficient.
bedda26
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Oh if you people only knew her.
MrsERod
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Posted by bedda26
Oh if you people only knew her.
an herein lies the reason for the thread.
RedHead
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by bedda26
Oh if you people only knew her.
i don't think we really have to..you told us this situation...i don't think i would change my mind if i 'knew' her.
If she is cheap...she is cheap...in this situation i thought she was fine!
Jan05Bride
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by bedda26
Oh if you people only knew her.
that's all I'm saying Bedda. I'm not disagreeing with your feelings ... I just think it stems from prior relationship/knowledge/issues with this person.
FeliciaDA
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by MrsERod
Posted by bedda26
Oh if you people only knew her.
an herein lies the reason for the thread.
Again, mising the point we all tried to make... Its more of a personal issue with your SIL than anything else
MrsERod
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Hey Red, maybe its us.... Maybe we're just PMS'ing!!!
RedHead
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by MrsERod
Hey Red, maybe its us.... Maybe we're just PMS'ing!!!
nah that is just me...
Kate
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by RedHead
Personally i think giving money to a 40 year old for his birthday is WEIRD...NOT the fact that he got 41 dollars....Did you think maybe it was a joke? Giving a dollar a year and 1 for good luck
HE isn't 12????
ANd i think giving money to a 40 year old is silly
I am feeling the same way... its a fine gift, but money to an adult ... I don't know. Do people do that?
Now mind you for my BIL's 50th (same scenario- DH sisters husband) they had a party at a bar/restaurant and we got him a gift cert to a restaurant, but it was NOT much more. I just felt like doing it and I feel 50 is a bigger b-day than 40. JMO BUT in all honesty, I do think its strange to give money to an adult or even a present of the same value. Unless its a special group gift. For those birthdays where an adult is celebrating a 50th, 60th etc. I think more along the lines of a GAG gift LOL
I do agree with you about the God parent thing though, I like to acknowledge my sons God parents.
lilmrs
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Here I will tell you what you only want to hear!
OMG, how wrong! I can't believe she did such a thing. How cheap can you be! Humpf! Some people.
Jan05Bride
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Re: Cannot believe how cheap people can be...
Posted by Kate
I do agree with you about the God parent thing though, I like to acknowledge my sons God parents.
That I agree with, I always receive small token gifts from my goddaughter for the holidays only. From my godson (MOH's son) however I get insane gifts, like Tiffany's and such and I awlays yell at my cousin not too.
