here here, mjdoc12! everyone doesn't have the same opinions on here. i don't think people necessarily post things to try and be mean. it's hard to really understand how people feel when it's in writing. so just take their comments with a grain of salt!
Posted by MJDoc12
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
THe short story of what I was trying to say is that you might be really hurting someone's feelings when you say something is tacky. INot that you are not entitled to your opinion, because, of course, everyone is entitled to an opinion. (this is encompasses more than the cash bar issue. you might think something is tacky, and then you post your opinion, and someone else who has done or is thinking of doing the thing you called tacky now feels like sh*t)
people have to develop a thick skin if you are gonna post to a public board. one person might post they are ecstatic over their phtographer, and another poster could say that particular person is horrible and they were dumb to book them...or someone could pick a hall and another poster will could say 'only cheap losers book there, it's a shady place'...what are you gonna do? these things happen. one person's dream could be someone else's nightmare...that's just life.
if someone truly feels okay with what they are doing for their wedding...be it a cash bar...or dollar dances, chocolate fountains, potluck, backyard bbq, etc. etc....then their feelings won't be hurt. they will realize that whomever is posting is allowed to have their opinion, and they disagree with said opinion.
Posted by MJDoc12
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
THe short story of what I was trying to say is that you might be really hurting someone's feelings when you say something is tacky. INot that you are not entitled to your opinion, because, of course, everyone is entitled to an opinion. (this is encompasses more than the cash bar issue. you might think something is tacky, and then you post your opinion, and someone else who has done or is thinking of doing the thing you called tacky now feels like sh*t)
people have to develop a thick skin if you are gonna post to a public board. one person might post they are ecstatic over their phtographer, and another poster could say that particular person is horrible and they were dumb to book them...or someone could pick a hall and another poster will could say 'only cheap losers book there, it's a shady place'...what are you gonna do? these things happen. one person's dream could be someone else's nightmare...that's just life.
if someone truly feels okay with what they are doing for their wedding...be it a cash bar...or dollar dances, chocolate fountains, potluck, backyard bbq, etc. etc....then their feelings won't be hurt. they will realize that whomever is posting is allowed to have their opinion, and they disagree with said opinion.
Posted by M&S Sept12006
Posted by MJDoc12
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
THe short story of what I was trying to say is that you might be really hurting someone's feelings when you say something is tacky. INot that you are not entitled to your opinion, because, of course, everyone is entitled to an opinion. (this is encompasses more than the cash bar issue. you might think something is tacky, and then you post your opinion, and someone else who has done or is thinking of doing the thing you called tacky now feels like sh*t)
people have to develop a thick skin if you are gonna post to a public board. one person might post they are ecstatic over their phtographer, and another poster could say that particular person is horrible and they were dumb to book them...or someone could pick a hall and another poster will could say 'only cheap losers book there, it's a shady place'...what are you gonna do? these things happen. one person's dream could be someone else's nightmare...that's just life.
if someone truly feels okay with what they are doing for their wedding...be it a cash bar...or dollar dances, chocolate fountains, potluck, backyard bbq, etc. etc....then their feelings won't be hurt. they will realize that whomever is posting is allowed to have their opinion, and they disagree with said opinion.
I think everyone is entitled to an opinion but come on do it with respect...thick skin or not, dont treat others the way you would nt like to be treated.
Posted by lulugrrl
Okay...so let me preface this with the fact that I am having an open bar, because that is the Norm for long Island, and the packages are set up to include this.
Also....I am from upstate NY where it is NOT the Norm to have an open bar. I have been to a lot of weddings up there, and the norm is open CH, then maybe just wine and beer at reception free, the rest cash bar. They will also do it, that the bride and groom pay up a certain amount, and as soon as it goes over that limit, the bar turns to cash. And honestly noone up there gives a rats azz, and COMPLETLY appreciate the fact that you have an open bar, it is a pleasant surprise instead of expected. It all falls into perspective, gifts are much less $$ too. And you will actually see a gift table, because people bring real presents, not just moolah! All in all its a relative situation, nothing to be offended by or consider RUDE!
Long Island works very differently, everything is all set up for you...but also, a wedding can be done up there for 10-20,000 (and be VERY NICE for the area)..whereas we ALL know what we are paying down here. My mom and Dad are completely overwhelmed by the type of wedding we are having, come to think of it so am I...but it is what FH wanted! And he and I are paying 100%, so it can be whatever we want for our guests.
I just think it's not necessary to bash what someone else chooses to do, and it may not be to be cheap, it is just what is available in a certain area, and noone really knows differently, except of course if you are from long island, I just advise you not go if the free drink means that much to you. I don't normally get involved with this drama.....but my feelings were a little hurt for my people, LOL![]()
Also, They really do think we are nuts for what we put into a wedding down here...absolutely nuts, and maybe we are, but hey our weddings will be wonderful, and what we always dreamed of! Good Luck! And that is all that matters for any bride...free dirnk or not!
Posted by MJDoc12
bashing someone is being like 'you are pathetic!! what a loser!! you're an idiot!!'
expressing my own personal opinion is not bashing anyone. i used a generalization and said what i felt...just like the other girls who agreed on the topic with me. if someone's feelings get hurt because of it, that tells me that they are not happy with their own decision about it for themselves. that's not my problem. someone could tell me that i am tacky and aspects of my wedding suck and blah blah blah...well you know what? i could care less, because i'm happy with what i'm doing...and Emily Post herself could bad mouth me and I would smile happily and tell her she can think what she wants.
bottomline - people will say what they want and you can either deal with it, ignore it, or just smile and be happy with your own decisions. no one should have to tip-toe around the words for fear that someone might not like it.
Posted by MJDoc12
bashing someone is being like 'you are pathetic!! what a loser!! you're an idiot!!'
expressing my own personal opinion is not bashing anyone. i used a generalization and said what i felt...just like the other girls who agreed on the topic with me. if someone's feelings get hurt because of it, that tells me that they are not happy with their own decision about it for themselves. that's not my problem. someone could tell me that i am tacky and aspects of my wedding suck and blah blah blah...well you know what? i could care less, because i'm happy with what i'm doing...and Emily Post herself could bad mouth me and I would smile happily and tell her she can think what she wants.
bottomline - people will say what they want and you can either deal with it, ignore it, or just smile and be happy with your own decisions. no one should have to tip-toe around the words for fear that someone might not like it.
Posted by MJDoc12
i went to a wedding in south carolina....it was totally dry...and no music was allowed!!!! (the grandmother paying for the wedding was a strict southern baptist and thought dancing was THE DEVIL!
needless to see...it was not that fun. but i smiled and tried to enjoy myself, but it was truly a bad wedding from start to finish.
Posted by MJDoc12
i went to a wedding in south carolina....it was totally dry...and no music was allowed!!!! (the grandmother paying for the wedding was a strict southern baptist and thought dancing was THE DEVIL!
needless to see...it was not that fun. but i smiled and tried to enjoy myself, but it was truly a bad wedding from start to finish.
Posted by JessicaM.
Posted by MJDoc12
i went to a wedding in south carolina....it was totally dry...and no music was allowed!!!! (the grandmother paying for the wedding was a strict southern baptist and thought dancing was THE DEVIL!
needless to see...it was not that fun. but i smiled and tried to enjoy myself, but it was truly a bad wedding from start to finish.
did the couple exchange vows and become man and wife? that is the point of a wedding after all, and I don't see how, if that ultimate goal was accomplished, that it could be bad.
I am always honored to be invited to share such an occassion with people. it's such a special thing, open bar or not.
Posted by Thumballina
Posted by JessicaM.
Posted by MJDoc12
i went to a wedding in south carolina....it was totally dry...and no music was allowed!!!! (the grandmother paying for the wedding was a strict southern baptist and thought dancing was THE DEVIL!
needless to see...it was not that fun. but i smiled and tried to enjoy myself, but it was truly a bad wedding from start to finish.
did the couple exchange vows and become man and wife? that is the point of a wedding after all, and I don't see how, if that ultimate goal was accomplished, that it could be bad.
I am always honored to be invited to share such an occassion with people. it's such a special thing, open bar or not.
Very well said Jess![]()
I think ALOT of people lose track as to what a wedding REALLY is about...it has nothing to do with a reception or whether it is an open bar or if there was dancing...you're entering into a holy and sacred bond with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with...if that isn't reason enough to be happy...then I feel sorry for you...you're missing out
ok . I think we need to end this thread, you have stated your opinions, we get it.
