Cash Bar?

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

ok . I think we need to end this thread, you have stated your opinions, we get it.

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I second this!!

let me say this- we are all different- as long as you are happy and confident with your wedding and plans- then you shouldn't care what some girl who you don't even know thinks

as long as you are happy- you shouldn't care if Bettysue thinks it's TACKY or wrong or anything- Bettysue might do something that you think is TACKY

relax- have a drink- !

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Posted by Beth1210

let me say this- we are all different- as long as you are happy and confident with your wedding and plans- then you shouldn't care what some girl who you don't even know thinks

as long as you are happy- you shouldn't care if Bettysue thinks it's TACKY or wrong or anything- Bettysue might do something that you think is TACKY

relax- have a drink- !

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I second that!

I'm throwing in the towel! No more comments,everyone can do as they please,here in LI and out there in Alabama,Colorado,Wyoming,Cali...wherever!
Opinion is simply an opinion,ones view.
I stick to cash bar being tacky. You guys keep on acting all 'Politically Correct',not to offend anyone. Whatevaaaa.
Amen.

I could definetly use a

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Posted by lulugrrl

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Posted by Beth1210

let me say this- we are all different- as long as you are happy and confident with your wedding and plans- then you shouldn't care what some girl who you don't even know thinks

as long as you are happy- you shouldn't care if Bettysue thinks it's TACKY or wrong or anything- Bettysue might do something that you think is TACKY

relax- have a drink- !

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I second that!

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I third that!

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Posted by aliwnec10

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Posted by Pmpkn087

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Posted by Marisa M

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Posted by andri

I have NEVER been to one and IMO would think the couple to be cheap. Giving their guests bare minimum but racking in the gifts.

Lets stop BSing each other OK? Most of us here (geographically speaking) are from a middle-class or better background. We talk about and discuss topics like Reem Acra wedding gowns,$200+ CP's, Limo's galore,BoraBora & Tahiti.. then you're gonna make it a cash bar? Wasn't there a better way to cut a corner? Granted this is common outside of NY and I respect that but here on LI? No Way. You better believe I'd take money out of the envelope(BTW ppl from my culture ONLY give $$,a gift - like off the registry would be insulting,thats what a shower is for..but thats just me and common knowledge to ppl I invited and was invited to,pls don't flame)

My guests are exactly that-MY GUESTS for the evening. They should want for nothing. Now lets have a

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I agree .......We didn't get married in 'another state where this is the norm' we got married (or are getting married) in NYC or LI. You DO NOT invite your guests to a huge party, expect them to spend a fortune getting dressed appropriately and giving you a gift - and then cut corners ........Cut somewhere else, the gown, the flowers, the photographer, - somewhere that will affect YOU and NOT your guests ! - JMO

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I can see where you guys are coming from, but IMHO, the people throwing the wedding did not ask their guest to spend a fortune getting dressed 'appropriately' or whatever the case may be. And if that is true that we are all from a middle-class or better background, then what is the big deal about paying for a few drinks? When you go out, you expect to pay for your drinks, right? I personally would not have a cash bar, but I would not think any less of someone if they decided to have it. You don't HAVE to drink!

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How can you say that the people throwing the wedding did not ask their guest to spend a fortune getting dressed appropriately??? When you invite them to the wedding, you're are asking them to do just that. Would you be okay with a guest showing up to your wedding in jeans? Of course not and everyone tries to dress their best for a wedding. When you invite them... you are asking them to put on a nice dress, suit/jacket or anything that is appropriate. Those things are not cheap. Even going to a wedding can be very expensive... just as a guest!

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I understand, but the amount of money that one spend on their attire is totally up to them, not the bride and groom. If one wants to spend $100 or $200 on an outfit, they can do that, but to say that the bride and groom asked them to is ridiculous because a person can wear something they already have or go to a store that does not sell expensive clothes. Yes, one should dress appropriately, but appropriate does not have a price tag. AND, furthermore, if someone showed up in jeans to my wedding i would NOT care. I invited family and close friends, all of whom I love and want to celebrate my day with. I wouldn't love them any less or think any less of them if they showed up in jeans. If that is what they want to do, it is a reflection on them, not me. I am not saying it is appropriate, but if that is what the person wants, so be it...i wouldn't do it, but that doesn't mean they can't.

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

THe short story of what I was trying to say is that you might be really hurting someone's feelings when you say something is tacky. INot that you are not entitled to your opinion, because, of course, everyone is entitled to an opinion. (this is encompasses more than the cash bar issue. you might think something is tacky, and then you post your opinion, and someone else who has done or is thinking of doing the thing you called tacky now feels like sh*t)

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people have to develop a thick skin if you are gonna post to a public board. one person might post they are ecstatic over their phtographer, and another poster could say that particular person is horrible and they were dumb to book them...or someone could pick a hall and another poster will could say 'only cheap losers book there, it's a shady place'...what are you gonna do? these things happen. one person's dream could be someone else's nightmare...that's just life.

if someone truly feels okay with what they are doing for their wedding...be it a cash bar...or dollar dances, chocolate fountains, potluck, backyard bbq, etc. etc....then their feelings won't be hurt. they will realize that whomever is posting is allowed to have their opinion, and they disagree with said opinion.

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I agree that people should not worry so much what everyone else thinks. Lot's of people get offended too easily and scan your email with a fine toothed comb to see how you could possible offend someone and call you out on it.

I think that you should plan your wedding on what YOU WANT to do, not what other think you SHOULD do or others expect you to do. As I said, I would not think any less of someone by how they planned their wedding. If I love someone enough to celebrate their wedding with them, then I love them enough to give them a good gift and spend a little extra on drinks. As I said, I would not do it, but to eaches own!

I am the original poster.
I was just trying to see if people had heard of other options to the open bar, just out of curiosity.
I didn’t know it would be such a sore subject.


Can't we all just get along?

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Posted by roxyspark

I am the original poster.
I was just trying to see if people had heard of other options to the open bar, just out of curiosity.
I didn’t know it would be such a sore subject.


Can't we all just get along?

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Everything is a sore subject around here

I went to a cash bar in Massachusetts, (A friend of FH) and not even the cocktail hour was complimentary. Being from LI I never even considered a non cash bar so I had no cash

Also, FH is from Mass, and his family is really excited and thinks we are splurging for open bar.

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I think we are straying away from the original question here... the poster asked if anyone had ever been to a wedding with a cash bar, not whether or not you would have one or think it is tacky.
Things are done differently in different parts of the country, and we really have no right to deem them tacky, cheap, or whatever. To take away from someone's gift because they do not have an open bar is disgraceful and appalling. Since when is a wedding about drinking anyway? Those same people might turn around and have things to say about wedding in this part of the country, how would you feel if they said your martini bars, vienesse hours, extravagant CH's and chocolate fountains were out of control and totally unecessary, and yes they might even call them TACKY. It is very small minded to be so opinionated about the way people do things. We have our culture here, and in other areas, there are different cultures and ways of doing things. Please don't be so quick to judge others, would you want them to do the same to you?

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I just have to say WELL SAID!!!!!!
I was thinking the same thing after reading this and could not have said it better!

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Posted by johnsae

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by johnsae

I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.

JMO

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I don't necessarily think it is rude. It is not common in NY but in other places, it is acceptable.

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ok - I still think it's rude though, and what places deem it acceptable?

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Ok, I was just stating my opinion. Why so passionate about this topic? In other states, it IS acceptable. NY is one of the only states that it is frowned upon. That's all I was sayin

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Posted by carlsbride

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Posted by johnsae

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by johnsae

I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.

JMO

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I don't necessarily think it is rude. It is not common in NY but in other places, it is acceptable.

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ok - I still think it's rude though, and what places deem it acceptable?

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It's a big world out there - New York is not the center of the universe or the dictator for what is the proper way to host a wedding. Expand your horizons a little.
Most weddings I have attended down South did not have a full open bar for the whole event.

ETA: And I never thought it was Tacky or Rude, just different.

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Couldn't have said this better

Let's all thank Stephanie for bringing this thread to life again

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Posted by ColleenMc

I went to a cash bar in Massachusetts, (A friend of FH) and not even the cocktail hour was complimentary. Being from LI I never even considered a non cash bar so I had no cash

Also, FH is from Mass, and his family is really excited and thinks we are splurging for open bar.

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I grew up in Mass, and my parents could not believe that every place in NY includes open bar. In Mass, open bar is extra, and it costs a lot.

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Posted by otherme

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Posted by johnsae



I don't think a cash bar is ever acceptable - I think it's kind of rude....cut costs in other areas to make it happen.

JMO

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I don't necessarily think it is rude. It is not common in NY but in other places, it is acceptable.

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ok - I still think it's rude though, and what places deem it acceptable?

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I'm also shocked and disgusted to hear that people would actually have the nerve to take money from their gift to the bride and groom in retaliation for their not having an open bar. How tacky and incredibly selfish. Really

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I'm not condoning either practice, but I thin it's pretty tacky adn selfish to ask GUESTS who are giving a gift, spent money on attire, spent money to get there, to pay for their own drinks. If you're entertaining someone, at your home, at a restaraunt, at a wedding, you provide for them, or you don't entertain.

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Posted by johnsae

Let's all thank Stephanie for bringing this thread to life again

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I was thinking the same thing!

Seriously girls - lets give this one a rest. There are obviously many differing opinions on this topic and there was so much time and energy spent on it last week.
Please, lets let this one die down