Re: Cheating...

myrtle beach is awful in that regard...DH and I were there a few years ago and we wanted to get a massage and the phone book was riddled with erotic massages...I'm talking 20 pages of it!!! and they all make hotel calls...ugh

(btw we found a good way to find a normal massage place was to look for pregnancy massages)

Re: Cheating...

Funny that you say that...we looked in the phone book and there were pages and PAGES of escort services. I guess because so many men are there golfing

Re: Cheating...

unfortunately.... its a golf outing and alot of men involved in that world (the golf world) know exactly what a golf outing is for. why would you go away for a week to play 18 holes? mabe I dont like golfing..... but I know why some men go to golf outtings.... it aint pretty... im not saying ALL men go for this reason but some do.

heh
after this all you got is trust in this world
ooh boy

Re: Cheating...

You know.. I was reading all of the replys to this post adn I really think that its a GREAT post..

I think one of the main reasons that 80% of poeple in a marriage relationshiop 'cheats' has to do with the moralistic fact of HONESTY..... I am happy seeing that most of you agreed that you and your FH/DH are honest with each other, but I think its a shame the vast majority of people that go into marriages (and relationships in general) with the 'disposable relationship' mindset. I keep asking most of my friends and others that I encounter in this particular issue, What happened to the Till death do us part mindset?? (I DO NOT mean in any way shape or form, that I dont believe in divorce... but htats another post..)
But I am finding that sooooooo many people have this mindset like.. Oh- if it doesnt work out in a year or two, I will just move on!... This mortifies me! .... I was doing some research with a sociology professor when i came up with this conclusion, its not just my opinion.. That bothers me.
I feel that if you develop a strong foundation built on God, honesty and morality, than your relationship will be strong. I am relieved to see so many LI brides say that they believe they have the right foundations. (just wanted to share that)

Re: Cheating...

Unfortunately you're right. Divorce is not seen as such a big thing anymore. This coming from someone who IS Divorced because my ex-husband cheated while I was pregnant

I think there are some actions that make divorce justified, I just think it's sad that it's looked at like an easy solution (don't know if I'm making any sense!)

Re: Cheating...

I can't imagine DH cheating. I think the guilt would kill him. Maybe I am naive, but I do trust him 100%. I think he would be too scared. As for me, I know I could never do that. The guilt would definetly kill me and I would make myself sick over it, besides, I see no reason for it!

Re: Cheating...

bump fpr the day girls

Re: Cheating...

I hope (knock on wood) that this does not happen to me.

It all boils down to trust and committment.

Re: Cheating...

I trust FI 100% and I beleive he trusts me the same. I think Divorce in some instances are taken very lightly. You have a major fight and bam you end it all... I told FI that if we were fighting alot we would try the hardest to work it out.

If he Cheated I would show him the door.....

Re: Cheating...

I dated a guy for 8 months when I found out he had been engaged the whole time.....
You may think 'how could I not know' but in all honesty, this guy was a true con-man!!!
I met his family, stayed at his apartment, hung out with all of his friends....YOU NAME IT!!!!

It turns out his Fiance was finishing graduate school in another state and he conveniently removed every trace of her from his apartment.

I NEVER knew until he called to break it off out of the blue....turns out she quit school and was moving home....He confessed to me and I told him off and never spoke to him again....

I actually feel sorry for his fiance (now his wife and mother of his child).

After that I had really lost all my faith in men and swore to never 'fully' trust anyone ever again....

That was until I met FH....I can say with total faith that I trust him with everything....I would never doubt him and never doubt his committment to me or our marrige...What a great feeling.....

Re: Cheating...

My Fi and I went through this before we got engaged...it was all irrational fears in my head that I created b/c I had been cheated on in the past. I had broke into his e-mail, accused him of cheating..the whole bit. We worked through it and I trust him completely....it's the fears I have to deal with. I thikn you should bring it up with your man....have a discussion if this is a fear/wrroy/concern or just a rant on the horrible image this vacation put in your mind.

Re: Cheating...

UGGHH. I HATE thinking about this. I found out from a complete stranger that happened to know mutual friends that FHs brother cheats/cheated on his live in girlfriend. This got me SO upset. FH doesn't want to talk about it because he's always put his brother on a pedestal. Hurts me because I'm friends with his girlfriend and can't say anything. I think she's clueless about this. It must be a truly horrible feeling but the only thing I can say is that you have to have a lot of trust and confidence in both yourself and FH.

Re: Cheating...

I really and truly do believe it comes down to choice people make and how committed they are to their relationship. On the NWB we had a discussion on Infidelity and whether or not you think your relationship is cheat proof and most of the women said no and a large amount said yes. I guess I have a more realistic view than an idealistic view.

People will do what they want. I trust my husband but I would hope faced with the choice of cheating, he will turn and walk away. I know what he is like now, I have no guarantees of what the future holds. I will not let that bother me until I get to that point. w/o trust there is no marriage and until he gives me reason to doubt that, we are good to go.

Re: Cheating...

Anyone in for a good read, here is the link of the thread with the discussion INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE

Re: Cheating...

I have cheated on guys and I've been cheated on. I learned all those lessons the hard way. The first engagement (years ago) i broke it off due to lack of trust on his part. He always thought I was out scre*wing around. So I called it off.. Next day went to pick up my key and he was pawing a woman who he had swore was only a friend.

Do I trust my FH? Yep. I know it sounds selfish and egotisical but he knows he has a good thing with me. As far as trusting him alone.. We are never apart. I drag my FH all over the country on conventions and meetings for insurance women. He's like one of the ONLY men there!!

Before we got engaged, his ex who said 'no' when he asked her to marry him, came back.. *sigh* and said 'yes'. He told me about it, they had dated over 5 years. I won't hold him back and I didn't then. I let him go. He didnt even do dinner with her. Good man I got. It made us closer, if that makes sense. We are very honest and open.

Still, if I knew he was cheating on me, I'd let him go. Divorce is something neither of us want. But I've been the woman who tried to 'let it go' and it's a horribly sad and degrading experience. I won't do that again. I'd rather suffer the loss of a man I love than suffer the knowledge of a unfaithful relationship.
JMHO

Re: Cheating...

Similar to Sage's story, I was with my ex for 5 years. When we met he told me that his last girlfriend packed up and moved to FL to live with her uncle. 3 months later supposedly she called him and told him she was pregnant and wanted him to come live with her he said no. He did go every month for a weekend up to see his child. All the time I'm having this happy little life thinking that he is staying here with me cause he loves me.

At the end of our relationship I was getting ready for work and my phone rings and its him, 'Hi whats up' 'listen I guess want you to know that (we'll call her abby)Abby has been living in NY for 3 years now and we are getting married this weekend WHAT???

I broke it off that moment (obviously) but he wanted to continue to see me. The child....never was one, he would show me pics of his cousin's baby, he would go down to florida to be with her while she finished school!

For a long time after I just went from relationship to relationship never staying for more than 2 months, I was always scared to give myself to anyone after that, until I met DH of course

Re: Cheating...

OMG how terrible!!!
what a bas*tard!!!!!

Then they wonder why women have so much man-hating issues. We don't hate men.. but enough of us have been burned that you can usually find one of the scoured women at any given time.