Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

OK I know it's not a pretty topic but...

If FH cheated on you and you found out before the wedding would you call it off?

If he cheated after the wedding would you consider divorce?

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

Thats something I have thought about.. Im not really sure what I would do....

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

We had this question in Pre-cana. Both of us agreed. If we were unfaithful before or after, makes no difference. Our marriage would not be salvagable.

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

I can't really say because unless you are actually IN that situation it is so hard to try and guesstimate how you would react. But I can say how I THINK I would react... I would leave FH/DH. For me, marriage is ALL about loyalty and trust. You are making a life-long commitment to that person so being with someone else is not even an option. I would never do that to Vinny and I know Vinny would never do that to me so if he did, I would feel like I didn't even know that person anymore-- therefore, I could not, in good faith, stay with him and try to work on something I feel is so broken that it cannot be fixed. It's hard though so I can't really say for sure-- no one can, until you are placed in that position.

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

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Posted by werock0709

We had this question in Pre-cana. Both of us agreed. If we were unfaithful before or after, makes no difference. Our marriage would not be salvagable.

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I AGREE 100% ...

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

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Posted by STBMrsDaniRella

I can't really say because unless you are actually IN that situation it is so hard to try and guesstimate how you would react. But I can say how I THINK I would react... I would leave FH/DH. For me, marriage is ALL about loyalty and trust. You are making a life-long commitment to that person so being with someone else is not even an option. I would never do that to Vinny and I know Vinny would never do that to me so if he did, I would feel like I didn't even know that person anymore-- therefore, I could not, in good faith, stay with him and try to work on something I feel is so broken that it cannot be fixed. It's hard though so I can't really say for sure-- no one can, until you are placed in that position.

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I agree. I would like to think I would leave, but once you're married and have kids I don't think it's as easy as just saying you're going to leave. I can't see being able to trust him again though. And before the marriage - that's pretty much it. He's done.

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Posted by werock0709

We had this question in Pre-cana. Both of us agreed. If we were unfaithful before or after, makes no difference. Our marriage would not be salvagable.

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Since the few minutes that passed from posting this I really thought about it and...........

am TOTALLY with you.

I know I could and would never get over it. I would even be thinking during our intimate moments that he was doing this exact thing with someone else

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

Any relationship's foundation is trust. Once the foundation is destroyed, there's nothing left. I would leave b/c there would be no point in staying. Every time he left the house I'd be wondering what he was doing. I couldn't live like that.

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

you know its a real tough call- and I have thought about it- I just dont know .......but I am a stubborn person so if he ever..... it would take A LOT for me to start trusing him again IF i decided to take him back....... Just as a side humour note........hes only allowed to cheat on me with jessica simpson, angelina jolie and some wrestler chick he likes..... NO IMPERSONATORS!

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

I would totally call off the wedding.. and then I would ruin his life

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Posted by Athee07

you know its a real tough call- and I have thought about it- I just dont know .......but I am a stubborn person so if he ever..... it would take A LOT for me to start trusing him again IF i decided to take him back....... Just as a side humour note........hes only allowed to cheat on me with jessica simpson, angelina jolie and some wrestler chick he likes..... NO IMPERSONATORS!

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Oooh Athee you gave me an idea for a spin off!

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Posted by brittny817

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Posted by Athee07

you know its a real tough call- and I have thought about it- I just dont know .......but I am a stubborn person so if he ever..... it would take A LOT for me to start trusing him again IF i decided to take him back....... Just as a side humour note........hes only allowed to cheat on me with jessica simpson, angelina jolie and some wrestler chick he likes..... NO IMPERSONATORS!

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Oooh Athee you gave me an idea for a spin off!

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freaky friday baby!!!

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Before or After...FH knows if I ever found out he cheated its OVER..i won't tolerate cheating

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

100% the wedding would be called off immediately and NO second chances. It'd be over in a heartbeat....

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Posted by bellaro782

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Posted by werock0709

We had this question in Pre-cana. Both of us agreed. If we were unfaithful before or after, makes no difference. Our marriage would not be salvagable.

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I AGREE 100% ...

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me too!! I would never be able to look at hime the same way again.
If i wa to cheat on him.. it would mean that something is lacking inmy relationship and i shouldn't be in it period.

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

YUP!

ETA: And then I'd be on the front cover of Newsday with a gun and a smile

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Posted by StreetDoc6531

YUP!

ETA: And then I'd be on the front cover of Newsday with a gun and a smile

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I like the way you think

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Posted by bellaro782

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Posted by werock0709

We had this question in Pre-cana. Both of us agreed. If we were unfaithful before or after, makes no difference. Our marriage would not be salvagable.

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I AGREE 100% ...

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I agree also. My mom did this with my sister's dad. They were engaged and then she found out he had a daughter less than a year younger than my sister. That was it, she took my sister and left, found a new apartment and made a new life. There's been relationships in the family ruined by cheating in my life and the woman has stayed (grandmother) and I can't be that woman. FH is mine and the day he touches someone else I'll never look at him again. I told him he'd be lucky if I just walked away because more likely I'll cut him first.

Re: Cheating..What Are Your Thoughts??

Well, if it was b4 the wedding I would call everything off, then take his butt to court for the $$ he owes me
If it was after we were married it would depend on a few factors:
1) do we have children?
2) has it happened more than once? was it an ongoing thing?

I feel that if there are children involved our first obligation is to them and we would have to put aside our personal issues to raise them.
That being said, if it was an ongoing affair I think it might be so difficult for me to deal with that our staying together for the kids would actually hurt the kids even more cause I'd be miserable and angry....and I dont hold anger in well AT ALL

Sample of events:
Child 1 (to her younger brother): Gabriel? Why is mommy crying while puttng dog food in daddy's meatloaf?

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Posted by AeroJenn

100% the wedding would be called off immediately and NO second chances. It'd be over in a heartbeat....

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same here...off Immediately.