We're in NC and celebrated Christmas yesterday with FH's family. We're staying at his sister's house and his mother came by for dinner and to exchange presents. A small amount of background info on FMIL--she is an avid online dater, which is fine but she finds these people that she only speaks to on the internet and calls them her boyfriends without meeting them and she has about 6 of them at a time. For this reason, FH and I decided that she is not invited to our wedding with a date. If it was someone she knew and we knew for a while we wouldn't have a problem, but not someone she only knows from the internet. So FH tells her this and she gets angry, says that none of her children want her to be angry, and storms out of the house I feel so bad for FH because we're only here for the week and his mother refuses to speak to him. Are we wrong here?
MikeandJess
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by Espo22
if my mom or dad wanted to bring a 'MARRIED' bf or gf to my wedding i would flip out on them. Refusing a parent to not bring a guest i can understand why people get upset, but when the guest is either married or somebody shes never met before then i would put my foot down, and even forget about the wedding but in general. If my mother was dating married men i would be very disappointed with her and would tell her i wouldn't want to see such things in my face, and honestly for her to bring that in my face would shock me. I am kinda shocked that she would even want her son to see her prancing around with a married man.
Believe me, he is scarred by his mother's behavior. Of course if she was in a normal relationship, her b/f would be invited, even if we had not met him. I hope she finds a normal relationship by the time of the wedding so she doesn't have to come alone, I do feel bad about that, but not bad enough to have a complete married stranger at my wedding!
2007 Crescent Bride
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by 2007 Crescent Bride
I can see why she is upset. She is the MOG and if she feels comfortable enough bringing someone, then who cares. Sorry...just my honest opinion.
Your opinion is fine, that's why I posted the topic to begin with. We just feel that she's bringing a date for the sake of bringing a date and she's bringing someone she doesn't know. I don't feel comfortable having someone she doesn't know at our wedding. Just to give you a little background, she has a man staying with her from australia who she met on the internet, but for new years she invited another one of her internet boyfriends over while the australian was there. On top of that she has another guy that she's 'dating' on her screensaver. She's not a stable woman. I can understand your opinion, but I think if you were in the situation you'd feel differently.
I wish you and your FH the best and hope the situation works out. Regardless of how crazy she is, I'm sure you and your FH will be very upset if she doesn't come. I hope she thinks about things and understands where you are both coming from. Good luck.
Espo22
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by Espo22
if my mom or dad wanted to bring a 'MARRIED' bf or gf to my wedding i would flip out on them. Refusing a parent to not bring a guest i can understand why people get upset, but when the guest is either married or somebody shes never met before then i would put my foot down, and even forget about the wedding but in general. If my mother was dating married men i would be very disappointed with her and would tell her i wouldn't want to see such things in my face, and honestly for her to bring that in my face would shock me. I am kinda shocked that she would even want her son to see her prancing around with a married man.
Believe me, he is scarred by his mother's behavior. Of course if she was in a normal relationship, her b/f would be invited, even if we had not met him. I hope she finds a normal relationship by the time of the wedding so she doesn't have to come alone, I do feel bad about that, but not bad enough to have a complete married stranger at my wedding!
i would be the same way too. I worry about my mom coming home late at night by herself, and its not even that late but working late and take the trains. If she was meeting strangers all the time, i would be scared for her. I think everyone is just seeing it as a parent not being allowed to bring a guest, instead of the fact that this is a different scenario and theres alot more to it. If my mom dated a married man, i wouldn't even allow her to bring him out to dinner with me on a regular night.
I don't know how many ppl on here would stand for that
hopefully she'll realize her actions and even realize how much it bothers her son
Espo22
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
and since google came up and people being able to find posts, hows this one
his mom brings a married man to the wedding, the pictures go up on the photographers site, jess posts pics on here...SOMEHOW the wife of the married man sees these pics
TGs Lady 22908
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I agree with you and your FH's decision completely. I would do the same thing.
About the married man thing, not only is it just wrong to date someone who is married to begin with, but to bring them to a WEDDING is kind of a slap in the face to the couple actually taking their marriage seriously. It's like this weird paradox....
I really hope that she thinks long and hard about her decisions/actions and comes to her senses and attends without a date or with someone you both know and are comfortable with. There is no reason you should have to accept a total stranger being at your wedding. Please, there are people I actually know that I'm uncomforatble inviting because I just don't feel like I want to share that day with them.
Hopefully, everything will work itself out.
MikeandJess
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by Espo22
and since google came up and people being able to find posts, hows this one
his mom brings a married man to the wedding, the pictures go up on the photographers site, jess posts pics on here...SOMEHOW the wife of the married man sees these pics
that is a great point denise, being that this would be the date of the MOG, I assume he will be in a lot of pictures
MikeandJess
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by TGs Lady 22908
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I agree with you and your FH's decision completely. I would do the same thing.
About the married man thing, not only is it just wrong to date someone who is married to begin with, but to bring them to a WEDDING is kind of a slap in the face to the couple actually taking their marriage seriously. It's like this weird paradox....
I really hope that she thinks long and hard about her decisions/actions and comes to her senses and attends without a date or with someone you both know and are comfortable with. There is no reason you should have to accept a total stranger being at your wedding. Please, there are people I actually know that I'm uncomforatble inviting because I just don't feel like I want to share that day with them.
Hopefully, everything will work itself out.
that's really nice of you to say, thank you!
Fall Bride 2008
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
thats his mother and you definatley should invite her with a guest regarless of who she brings. I understand about her dating but you shouldnt tell her she cant bring a date to her sons wedding
minibride08
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
I hope everything works out for you!!!!!!!!! Maybe she really wasn't planning on bringing anyone, but when it was said that she couldn't- she got angry/upset..... If not and she really was planning on bringing the married online guy- that a tough one and I wouldn't want him at my wedding either! Hopefully she'll realize it's your day with FH and she'll respect your decision/request.
Snowflake08
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by Fall Bride 2008
thats his mother and you definatley should invite her with a guest regarless of who she brings. I understand about her dating but you shouldnt tell her she cant bring a date to her sons wedding
If she dates married men, and multiple men and is contributing ZERO financially to the wedding, she ABSOLUTELY can be invited without a guest
iwannabmrsD
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
i'm sorry you have to deal with this and go through with it. I also am sorry for your fh. Online dating isn't an automatic bad thing, but if she is coming and going with a lot of different men, and some are unattached then you and fh have a valid concern for your fmil's safety as well as for the safety of all of your guests..
does she have a best friend that she can be accompanied by? my mother is a widow, and is not bringing a date. she will instead have her bff by her side along with her children, and close family. We'll make sure she doesn't feel as if she's 'without a date'.
honestly, and this may sounds harsh to some, but u'r son's wedding is not a 'date' kind of evening, this isn't a sorority ball, or a charity event.. it's her son's wedding.. imo finding 'a date' should be the furthest thing from her mind..
Fall Bride 2008
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by Fall Bride 2008
thats his mother and you definatley should invite her with a guest regarless of who she brings. I understand about her dating but you shouldnt tell her she cant bring a date to her sons wedding
If she dates married men, and multiple men and is contributing ZERO financially to the wedding, she ABSOLUTELY can be invited without a guest
matter of opinion.......i can understand about the whole random guest thing but she is a grown woman and should be at her sons wedding
Espo22
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
even if my mom was contributing, if she told me she was bringing a married man i would STILL tell her NO WAY!!! but like i said in here before, even if it was a regular dinner i still wouldn't be around her and a married man. I am very against this and won't tolerate it, especially from my mother. If i told my mother how much it bothers me that she is with a married man and STILL insisted to bring him, that would hurt me
I mean would you people really let your mom bring a married man to your wedding? just curious, not asking to be stupid
Fall Bride 2008
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by Espo22
even if my mom was contributing, if she told me she was bringing a married man i would STILL tell her NO WAY!!! but like i said in here before, even if it was a regular dinner i still wouldn't be around her and a married man. I am very against this and won't tolerate it, especially from my mother. If i told my mother how much it bothers me that she is with a married man and STILL insisted to bring him, that would hurt me
I mean would you people really let your mom bring a married man to your wedding? just curious, not asking to be stupid
a married man is a different story a bf is another ......hell no on the married man but she should be told that she will not be bring a married man to the wedding not taht she cant bring anyone regardless of who it is..JMO not my business
Espo22
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by Fall Bride 2008
Posted by Espo22
even if my mom was contributing, if she told me she was bringing a married man i would STILL tell her NO WAY!!! but like i said in here before, even if it was a regular dinner i still wouldn't be around her and a married man. I am very against this and won't tolerate it, especially from my mother. If i told my mother how much it bothers me that she is with a married man and STILL insisted to bring him, that would hurt me
I mean would you people really let your mom bring a married man to your wedding? just curious, not asking to be stupid
a married man is a different story a bf is another ......hell no on the married man but she should be told that she will not be bring a married man to the wedding not taht she cant bring anyone regardless of who it is..JMO not my business
but thats what jess said, if you read this whole thread, his mom might bring a married man...And they didn't tell her she can't bring ANYBODY, they said they'd like to meet him first, or if even it was more of a normal, serious relationship then that would be fine...but not to use the wedding as a first date with a guy on the internet or a married man she is seeing and might bring
Espo22
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by MikeandJess
Posted by beachbum05
Posted by Snowflake08
true bonnie, chances would be they would say no, but i have a feeling they think she'll rope someone in to come along
I'll work security.
the guy she's talking about bringing lives in CT, he might come, he drove here to meet her once, but he is married. My fear is the cheaters show showing up to my wedding
here is the post that says she might bring a married man
MikeandJess
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Re: crazy FMIL! (kind of long, sorry)
Posted by Fall Bride 2008
Posted by Snowflake08
Posted by Fall Bride 2008
thats his mother and you definatley should invite her with a guest regarless of who she brings. I understand about her dating but you shouldnt tell her she cant bring a date to her sons wedding
If she dates married men, and multiple men and is contributing ZERO financially to the wedding, she ABSOLUTELY can be invited without a guest
matter of opinion.......i can understand about the whole random guest thing but she is a grown woman and should be at her sons wedding
she's a grown woman but has the mentality of a 13 year old. Don't get me wrong, she is very sweet, but her judgement is lacking
