Dear Co-Worker:

Dear anonymous female coworker -

Please do not smoke in the bathroom. We are not in HS anymore and we get 2 10 minute breaks. Go outside!

Love,
MrsP2Be

Dear Co-worker:

Please stop asking me what I am eating when you smell it. YES its coffee. YES its a boca burger - SHUT UP and let me eat in peace!

Signed,

Hungry and angry co-worker

Dear Co-Worker:

I don't know what I hate more: listening to you snort (blow your nose already, dammit!), listening to you hum (badly) or listening to you whine about all the demands on your time (which you have no right to do since you don't really do your job ANYWAY!)

Signed,
Subtly Sabotaging You

Dear CoWorker Spitty McGrubs-a-lot,

When you talk to someone, your spit goes flying everywhere. It lands on my face, and how you don't ever notice is beyond me.
Also, you realize I'm dieting. Therefore the tiny 100 calorie snack pack I bring to work is MINE. No, I'm not giving you a few, and no, I don't have a dollar to loan you. If you come any closer to my food, I'm going to bite your hand. Please don't mess with a cranky hungry girl and we'll be just fine.

Signed,

SickofSharing

Dear Co-worker:

Please stop being downright rude to me and then laughing it off as if you meant your comment as only a joke.

Dear Co-Workers Across the Hall (aka Shadow Sh!tters):

Please stop using the bathroom immediately next door to my office for the sole purpose going #2. You have a bathroom right next you. Stink that one up. Mine is a quarter mile away from you.

Also please refrain from then smoking in said bathroom. It doesn't cover up the smell. It only combines with it and becomes more toxic.

Sincerely,
Turning Blue

Dear Pain In the @$$,

You have been working in our office for 1 year now and you still don't understand how to file paperowork. Please just retire already since you're already past that point so you can make my life and my office life so much easier!!

Signed,

Almost Ready To Go POSTAL

Dear Loud talker,

i dont want to hear every detail of your job and i dont want to hear you complain that you have too much to do.(when you actually do nothing but talk loudly all day) and i want you to stop picking fights with your other co-workers. and why did you hire a shim to do your dirty work. i cant stand to hear the manly voice on the other side of my cubicle!!!!!!!!!

from
ihate youdie!!!!!

Dear Co-Worker,
We are not friends. If you get pissed off at me get over it. I repeat we are not friends nor is this High School. If I ask you a question about work you'd better answer me I don't care how mad you are. Also stop f-ing the manager. He's married and a drunk!!

Dear Co-worker,

Being on the phone the entire day, then to start working at 4:45 is just plain wrong.

signed,
fed-up with working all damn day while you pi$$ away the entire day....

Dear Co-Worker Who Lives 15 minutes away,

Please come into work on time, you are supposed ot work an 8 hour day. It is fine if you decide to work 10 to 6, but work until 6 - i see you when you take a 2 hr lunch and leave at 3:30. The bus or train cannot run late everyday, nor can there be an accident, or alien landing, etc. - just fess up and try your best to be on time. (and please, obvious sheet wrinkles on your face, wet hair and/or eye cozies don't help either!) We may be nice and cozy like a family, but you are expected to do your job!

Sincerely
your coworker who lives two hrs away but somehow can make it into work

I had to bring this back after what I saw yesterday!

Dear NASTY-ARSE Co-worker,
Please be advised that others sit in the break room and on the couch you are lying on w/ your nasty feet resting on the armrest w/ out shoes OR socks! I don't EVER, EVER want to see or smell your freakin' feet again while I am trying to eat lunch!
Sincerely,
Your co-worker that's about to throw up.

OMG - these are too funny!!! I can write a million of them! I'd better get started!

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Posted by Donna&Joe708

Dear Co-Worker,

Please take a shower and brush your teeth before you come to the office. I can't stand being in the copy room with you as you try to flirt with me with your BO and bad breath. And when we go out for office luncheons, please try not to gobble your food like a T-Rex.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
You would never have a shot with me.

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Dear Nose Picking Co Worker:

Please refrain from using the stall walls of the bathroom as your own personal tissue. Not only is it unsanitary for others who might brush against your boogies, but the textured look went out in the 80's. If we need an interior decorator, we'll bail out Martha Stewart.

Would love to see the inside of your house.

Signed:

Booger Patrol.

Dear Manager:

Thank you for letting me know about my raise - VIA EMAIL!!!! I'm glad to know that my 3% raise is just as embarrassing for you to give as it is for me to receive.

Sincerely,
Secretly Posting for New Position

Dear Co-Worker;

Please stop talking s**t about everyone we work with, then go be their best friend. I really have no interest in listening to you complain about how incompetent ALL of our coworkers are, especially when I never join in complaining with you, because I obviously dont trust you.

signed,

cant you see I dont really care, learn to read body language...

Dear Co Worker:
Please don't take the workplace magazines into the bathroom with you.

From,
Grossed out

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Posted by adioguardi

Dear Manager:

Thank you for letting me know about my raise - VIA EMAIL!!!! I'm glad to know that my 3% raise is just as embarrassing for you to give as it is for me to receive.

Sincerely,
Secretly Posting for New Position

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me too!!!

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Posted by pschica

Dear Co-Worker Who Lives 15 minutes away,

Please come into work on time, you are supposed ot work an 8 hour day. It is fine if you decide to work 10 to 6, but work until 6 - i see you when you take a 2 hr lunch and leave at 3:30. The bus or train cannot run late everyday, nor can there be an accident, or alien landing, etc. - just fess up and try your best to be on time. (and please, obvious sheet wrinkles on your face, wet hair and/or eye cozies don't help either!) We may be nice and cozy like a family, but you are expected to do your job!

Sincerely
your coworker who lives two hrs away but somehow can make it into work

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