Posted by ambersmom
Posted by SomethingBlu
Posted by JanuaryBride06
Posted by groom
Yes, I do have advice...
Sometimes do we not all seem to get wrapped up in every other thing that is going on in our lives? Does the person we are with inadvertantly take a back seat to the daily grind (both husbands and wives)?
You can certainly say you tell your husband/fiance', but that will not work... ever. You have to really communicate with each other in a kind way. Express how important it is to you to have it done such and such a way.
And I know this is not going to be a surprise to ANY of you women - men, as a whole, are SIMPLE. If we do something good, reward us. We're like dogs. Make some extra time for intimacy (a man's most favorite thing). Remind us why it is that we're going though 'all that extra effort' of reaching an additional 20' to put the dishes away or our socks in the laundry basket.
With a double working household, I understand it's difficult to make that time for togetherness and intimacy; does that mean you shouldn't make the effort? Come on to your husband and show him you love him. However, this is not a plea for all the husbands to 'get some'. If oyu disagree with that, if he does something that helps you out and makes you feel good, leave him a note the following day expressing how much you appreciated it. You'd probably be surprised by how far that will go to getting us to do it again and again. How about a nice card telling him how oyu feel about him time and again? It's mushy yes, and most guys will say not to worry about that, but we like those things, albeit not as much as you ladies, but it doesn't hurt to make us feel good about things we've done.
Does that help?
-The Voice for the Husbands
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Seriously dude, you're off our rocker!! ![]()
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And for you to assume that we all 'must' fight/argue about these things with our DH's or FH's is ridiculous. Ever heard of sarcasm? ![]()
Your wife is lucky to have such a communicative man...you must be so lucky to get handwritten 'praise notes'. ![]()
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To me, the 'groom' sounds like he just stepped out of the Stepford Wive's movie or his wife took those 'marriage rules' from like 1950 too much to heart...you know the one about tidying up before he came home, yadda, yadda, yadda???
HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE
Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.
Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
