I booked the Watermill without my fiancee. I was overwhelmed at the way the place looked and I was with my parents who are paying for the whole wedding. My fiancee is mad because he wasn't there to look at the place, I told him he could still go there before I gave the rest of the deposit but he says no he will go the day of the wedding. I got him to open up a little more yeterday and he seems like he is starting to forgive me. He really had his heart set on Giorgio's but I agree with my parents that place is a little too far, especially if I wanted a night wedding. Thanks girls!! oops I mean ladies.
kellwolfe
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Well I booked my place with out my FH as well ...but he didnt really care ...As a matter of fact he still hasnt see it ... I just did it with my mom -
I could see why he is up set....the watermill is a great choice.... You cant really do much to change what happend....he will calm down and go look at it ..... Just explain why you did it again ...he loves you it will be ok -
iffer042373
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Well I can understand him being upset about him not being there cuz I am sure he feels that now you and your parents are going to make all the choices with the wedding. I would've asked them to hold the date and came back with FH to have him look at it. Try to include him in your choices from now on so he won't get his feeling hurt.
ChrissynRicky
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Honestly, I booked w/out my fiancee, but I did call him while I was there, to confirm with him. I didn't want to risk losing the date since they were booked up back to back otherwise. I then took him there a few weeks later, and he loved it. In the end, they're going to be happy w/anything you pick and realize it's the actual marriage to celebrate, not everything else.
Just remember, it's HIS DAY TOO!
laborday06
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Once he gets over the initial being mad, I'm sure he will come around. Maybe give him a week or so and then take him out there to see it. Tell him to be thankful that you parents are paying...you are so lucky! The watermill is lovely and I'm sure it will be just as nice as giorgios
Angel2006
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Honestly, I would never book the hall without FH unless he said that he didn't care.... I think that you should go with him to see the place ASAP and then I am sure he wont be sore at you any longer. It is a great place.
Good luck!
jandt2006
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
i told him to come but he doesn't want too
jandt2006
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Posted by laborday06
Once he gets over the initial being mad, I'm sure he will come around. Maybe give him a week or so and then take him out there to see it. Tell him to be thankful that you parents are paying...you are so lucky! The watermill is lovely and I'm sure it will be just as nice as giorgios
he is actually very good like that if he gets mad over something he is usually over it by the next day.
marymoon
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
I would never have booked a palce without FH. Even if he wanted rto leave the planning upt t you, the reception hall is SUCH a huge decision and I'd NEVER leave him out of it. And on top of it, he DID care. Een if your parents are paying for it, which is great, you have to get into the mode of making decisions with your FH, not with your family, you know? I don't mean to be harsh or judgmental, but i would NEVER have done that, and I cna understand him being pissed. Maybe you can go again with him to look at Watermill and Giorgios and then discuss it calmly with him and come to a decision together. You don't want him to feel resentful through this whole process. You never want to make your partnr feel like he ahs no voice, especially in something that is essentally a 50/50 artnership betwen you, like the wedding.
buggiegirl
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
if i were you i would explain to him that this day is about both of you- tell him he needs to come look at the place so you can make sure he is happy.
watermill is beautiful but you don't want to risk him being disappointed.
jandt2006
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
i totally understand that he is mad that is why i told him to come by to look at it. i really wanted a sept wedding and giorgio's didn't even offer that, besides i agreed with my parents that a wedding an hour away is just to crazy especially with people that have kids and will be leaving earlier.
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
My FH would have been upset if I booked anything without him... I think that if your FI is upset, you should talk it out with him. Apologize for booking without him, tell him that you just got so caught up and all that stuff. Tell him you really want him to go to see it, and if he doesn't love it, you can look at other places. How much of a deposit did you put down? To me its not worth FH being upset for a few hundred dollars.... Thats JMO.
SIBride06
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
I all depends on the guy. Obviously, your FI wants to be included in the whole wedding planning process... That is a Great SIGN girl. Hes a keeper. Lots of guys can care less, so #1. Be lucky you have a guy like him #2. Just be sure to include him in everything going forward.
He will get over it. Once he does, he will go and see how beautiful the place is he will forgote that he was upset in the 1st place.
marymoon
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
You may be totally right, and Watermill could be the 100% perfect place to have the wedding for both of you. but by making the decision without Fh you cut him out of it, and I'm sure eventually he'll see that you were right, but the decisions should still have been made with him. I think the engagement is a crucial time when you kind of set things up and see how the marrage is going to work, and this could send a really powerful message about who makes decisions, etc. It might be playing inot his fears (if he has them) that your parents will control your life, etc etc. I'm not saying he thinks this, but what you did sent a message. I'm sure he'll get over it. you love each other, you're getting MARRIED..but you need to show him that his opinion is valued
iffer042373
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
My FH would have been upset if I booked anything without him... I think that if your FI is upset, you should talk it out with him. Apologize for booking without him, tell him that you just got so caught up and all that stuff. Tell him you really want him to go to see it, and if he doesn't love it, you can look at other places. How much of a deposit did you put down? To me its not worth FH being upset for a few hundred dollars.... Thats JMO.
I agree with you I would tell FI to come and look at the place and he if doesn't like it we can looka t other places. If he likes Giorgio's and you like it as well set a block of rooms so people cna have the choice to stay. As far as the people with kids regardless of where you have your wedding they are gonna leave earlier then most people anyway cuz kids are gonna get cranky and tired and parents aren't gonna want to chase after them all nite. JMO
leese
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
To be honest, I would never had booked the reception hall without my FH, no matter who was paying. I actually only booked it after he, his mother and my parents had seen it and eaten there. My hall held my date for two weeks for me so that we could all get together.
I think he has a right to be upset, JMO. The only times that I have booked something without FH being physically present was the limos and DJ...but he had gone to those places, seen them and agreed with everything. He just lives in Jersey so I was unable to get him out to book.
I think you should give him some time and ask him if he'd like to come and see the Watermill - can you do a tasting now, so he feels like he has some influence on the decision? Then, from now on, I would make sure that he be there when you book vendors...and maybe let him 'get away' with a thing or two for the wedding (if you are undecided between two videographers....maybe letting him 'choose').
Good Luck!
Kerrycec
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
I think what you did was wrong. I'm sorry, but this is his day too. We often forget about it. And I'm sure the Watermill didn't say 'You have to book it today'. I work there and I know they don't do that. The hall is the most important thing to a guy. Most could care less about photography, flowers, invitations, etc.
Now what done is done, but I would take him there to see it. Also, I think you owe him big time!!!
jandt2006
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
i actually like this place better and i told him that. well actually i meant the people who have kids at home with the babysitters.
iffer042373
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Re: Did I make a mistake? please dont' be harsh..
Again regardless where you have the wedding the people with kids and have kids at home will be leaving earlier no matter where you have the reception. But honestly I would really tell FH to c ome and look at the hall and i f he doesn't like it then we can go and look at other places
