Dilemma....does this make sense?

Okay, just wanted to throw this out there to see if anyone else heard of this or if it makes sense...

The church fh wants to marry in told us the following:
We can not book until AFTER my confirmation. Here is the problem with this, we HAVE to book a minimum of 6 months before the wedding right? But the next confirmation is in September and ends in April. As a teacher I need a june/july wedding...

What is the problem with booking the church? When we are married i will already have received confirmation. Ive heard other people NOT have this problem... so is it just THIS church?

FH isnt confirmed and we booked our wedding.

This is the first time I hear of such a thing, yes it may be the church. They must have made up their own rules.

Can you go to another church? I've also heard of people starting their confirmation classes, getting married first and confirmed after -- mosts priests are willing to work with you.

Actually I'm not going to be helpful at all but I have a related question.

Do I HAVE to make my confirmation before we get married at a church? I thought you did, but my friends sister and her husband got married in a Catholic church - and he wasn't even Catholic!

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Posted by chicky824

Actually I'm not going to be helpful at all but I have a related question.

Do I HAVE to make my confirmation before we get married at a church? I thought you did, but my friends sister and her husband got married in a Catholic church - and he wasn't even Catholic!

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If you are both catholic i believe you do have to. IF one is catholic and the other isnt as long as you do precana and make a promise to raise the child catholic then your allowed.

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

FH isnt confirmed and we booked our wedding.

This is the first time I hear of such a thing, yes it may be the church. They must have made up their own rules.

Can you go to another church? I've also heard of people starting their confirmation classes, getting married first and confirmed after -- mosts priests are willing to work with you.

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See thats what im saying!

He wants to get married where all the rest of his family gotmarried... ohboy

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Posted by chicky824

Actually I'm not going to be helpful at all but I have a related question.

Do I HAVE to make my confirmation before we get married at a church? I thought you did, but my friends sister and her husband got married in a Catholic church - and he wasn't even Catholic!

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We actually asked the priest this since Fh hasnt been confirmed yet. If you are catholic then you must have all your sacraments completed (baptism, communion and confirmation) in order to be married.

He said if one of us wasn't catholic there would be a whole load of paperwork to be completed, but I didn't ask details.

Our priest is confirming my FH in a private ceremony, some churches will offer private meetings and then confirm you.

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Posted by MrsFazz2B

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

FH isnt confirmed and we booked our wedding.

This is the first time I hear of such a thing, yes it may be the church. They must have made up their own rules.

Can you go to another church? I've also heard of people starting their confirmation classes, getting married first and confirmed after -- mosts priests are willing to work with you.

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See thats what im saying!

He wants to get married where all the rest of his family gotmarried... ohboy

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did you talk to the priest or was it the secretary?

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

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Posted by MrsFazz2B

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

FH isnt confirmed and we booked our wedding.

This is the first time I hear of such a thing, yes it may be the church. They must have made up their own rules.

Can you go to another church? I've also heard of people starting their confirmation classes, getting married first and confirmed after -- mosts priests are willing to work with you.

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See thats what im saying!

He wants to get married where all the rest of his family gotmarried... ohboy

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did you talk to the priest or was it the secretary?

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priests (plural) One was VERY rude and made me cry lol

So does your fh have to take take the 7 month class? Thats what they are saying I have to take...

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Posted by MrsFazz2B

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

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Posted by MrsFazz2B

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Posted by MaggieLuvsJoe

FH isnt confirmed and we booked our wedding.

This is the first time I hear of such a thing, yes it may be the church. They must have made up their own rules.

Can you go to another church? I've also heard of people starting their confirmation classes, getting married first and confirmed after -- mosts priests are willing to work with you.

---

See thats what im saying!

He wants to get married where all the rest of his family gotmarried... ohboy

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did you talk to the priest or was it the secretary?

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priests (plural) One was VERY rude and made me cry lol

So does your fh have to take take the 7 month class? Thats what they are saying I have to take...

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Actually our priest is such a nice man. He is going to make me and FH meet with him a little more than usual and give FH some reading material and confirm him. FH explained to him that he wouldn't be able to take the classes bc he goes to school at night, the priest was great about it and said he would do it for him this way instead.

Jenny, it really depends on the church and the priest -- if these people are giving you a hard time go elsewhere. I had issues with my church and the priest wasn't being very nice so we went to my sister in law's church and they are extremely nice.

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Posted by MEMEJOR

OK girls i was never confirmed.... they were going to marry us anyway.... al long as u are baptized you are considered catholic in the eyes of the church... so i dont know why they are trying to make u confirmed

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I m realizing the church rules dont apple to everyone now. That makes me sad :(

I could go to another church who will prob treat me so nicely... To be honest...i feel like they should be happy that a catholic school teacher and a worker of the diocese wants to keep their faith and get married in the church. I dont know...

Im glad your church is awesome!!

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Posted by chicky824

Actually I'm not going to be helpful at all but I have a related question.

Do I HAVE to make my confirmation before we get married at a church? I thought you did, but my friends sister and her husband got married in a Catholic church - and he wasn't even Catholic!

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FH is not even remotely religious and we are getting married at my church. We thought for sure that he would have to make his sacraments but evidently my church is a little laxed on that subject and doesnt want to push beliefs on someone if they are not comfortable. So I guess it all really depends on the church now a days.

It seems to vary by church..

I guess you should have a sit-down with one of the priests and tell him that you are willing to get confirmed, but the options they are giving you is making it impossible to plan your wedding there. Tell them it means a lot that you get married at THEIR church, and ask how they can make that happen?

If you are willing to recieve the sacrement, I don't see why they won't work with you!

Can you get married as a non-Catholic instead of getting confirmed?

My FH isn't Catholic -- he actually hasn't ever received one sacrament in his entire life and we're having a full Mass at my Catholic church (I've received all the sacraments).

The paperwork that would be required for a non-Catholic to marry a Catholic in the church really is NOT a big deal. It's just a form from the priest requesting a dispensation from the Bishop to allow the non-Catholic party to get married in the church. It's really just a formality, the problem is that the Bishop takes a while to get through the paperwork. That's why we were told to apply for the dispensation a year before the wedding.

Sorry if that didn't help you. I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the church and the priest. It sounds like your pastor is a real hard line by the book kind of guy.

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Posted by chicky824

Actually I'm not going to be helpful at all but I have a related question.

Do I HAVE to make my confirmation before we get married at a church? I thought you did, but my friends sister and her husband got married in a Catholic church - and he wasn't even Catholic!

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USUALLY IF YOU ARE HAVE NOT RECEIVED COMMUNION & CONFIRMATION THEY WILL MARRY YOU BEFORE THE ALTAR NOT ON TEH ALTAR &THE YOU WILL HAVE TO PROMISE TO RAISE THE CHILDREN CATHOLIC.