Disappointed

I just wanted to get tis off my chest...
I am so disappointed, I know exactly where and when my shower is. It wasn't my fault, my MOH and BM chose a lame way to get me there. They should have let my FH get me to the shower. He could have done it and I would never have known.
Now, I don't want the grils to know I know. They would be disappointed too. I know they have put a lot of time, effort and money into the shower. I just wish I didn't find out. This is something you only get to do once.
I don't know how to react when I walk in, I dont want to be phony and act surprised.
Thanks for listening.

Re: Dissapointed

That totally *****!!! I can see being disappointed.

Depending upon how upset your friend/family would be, its probably easier to save them the bother of pretending its a secret from now and and telling them.

But if your shower is this weekend or very soon, don't say anything. You don't have to act super surprised, just smile when you get there.

Re: Dissapointed

People are rarely actually surprised. You know its coming, so you're suspicious of every event. I've never been to one where the bride was actually surprised. (The one time we thought we actually surprised a bride, I found out years later she'd known all along. I would've rather just known then and stopped pretending).

For that reason (and since I had to fly in for it), mine was not a surprise and it was still a great day.

The surprise doesn't make the party - you'll still have a great time.

Re: Dissapointed

I didn't want it to be a surprise. I asked for it not to be and didn't want a shower at all. But they wanted it to be a surprise, so I got into the idea. I hate having to pretend I don't know anything when I know everyting. They think they are pulling it off. I don't want to come right out a tell them I know.
So now they are keeping it a secret for nothing.

Re: Disappointed

Just smile! I think we all know that a shower is coming. You don't have to pretend, but just smile and be happy. You will be center of attention that day, so make the best of it and enjoy yourself as you get 'showered' with gifts!

Re: Disappointed

Well said Karen!

My FH and I were just talking about this the other day and he was saying 'oh, like you don't know about it anyway'... So I told him that I'm not going to try and pry it out of my friends, but yes, I know it will be coming soon. You can't help but think about it. But even if I do find out in advance, or figure it out because my friends had a hard time getting me there, I will just smile and not pretend. I'm sure it will be fabulous for all of us either way. Have the best shower!!!

Re: Disappointed

Thanks for the support. I guess I thought I would have an idea of when it is but I idn't think I would know exactly. I will smile and have a good time. What do I say when they ask if I was surprised? I know they will ask. It is just weird talking to friends and family now that I know. Can't really expalain it.

Re: Disappointed

I agree with Karen too! I just had my shower this weekend & even though my FH got me there, I still knew it was that day, although I didn't tell my BM's about it, I didn't want to hurt their feelings bacause I know they put so much work into making it a surprise for me. So even though I knew about it, once I got there I was actually surprised to see just how many people came & I was overwhelmed with happiness that everyone put so much effort into making it so special for me. So don't focus so much on the 'surprise' part of it & just have fun, smiling isn't phony, being happy isn't either so do both!

Re: Disappointed

I would just say with a cute little smile on 'Well I kinda figured it out'... They might say 'Oh no - how!!??' and you can just answer with 'Well I'm a bride-to-be, it's all we think about!'. Then nobody gets their feelings hurt and it just preps you for a great day! Fill us in on it after, we all would love to hear about it

Re: Disappointed

Smile and enjoy it anyway. That stinks but surprising people is not that easy. Just try to be excited when you get there. I would never tell them that you know.

Re: Disappointed

Marnles,
That is such a good thing to say!!
Your right, it is all we think about, so it's a perfect thing to say!
Thanks!

Re: Disappointed

I think a lot of people find out because you know its coming and then someone asks you to suddenly go shopping on a Sunday or something. You'll have a great time so don't worry about knowing. At least you can make sure you look really nice that day.

Re: Disappointed

I'd walk in and smile, you can tell them after you knew beforehand but for now just don't say anything.
I think I will know when mine is, I am going to be a registry peeker big time and i don't often go out on a Saturday or Sunday shopping without my FH or to eat, especially in the daytime! Him & I are best friends and always together, so when we aren't together and if they ask me to go eat, I'LL KNOW.

Re: Disappointed

I knew when mine was (long story!!) but to this day, only my DH and 2 friends knew (and now everyone who reads this LOL) that I knew about it beforehand. They put so much work into it that I couldn't tell anyone that I knew. I too was concerned with getting the surprised look or acting phony but it really wasn't so hard....as a bride-to-be you know there is one coming at some point so really, it's not like anyone is expecting a dramatic 'Oh my God!!' and a fainting spell out of you. You just show up and when you enter, get a look of 'you got me!'. At least that's how it went at my shower. Then I threw a 'I thought it was next week' out for good measure. End of story, everyone moved onto the chatting and eating and gift opening. You will still be very overwhelmed, surprised at who got you what and basically very pampered. Enjoy! You'll see that it's not a big deal either way.

Edited to add: The way to truly surprise a bride-to-be in regards to her shower is to not have one for her. LOL, I'm glad no one tried that on me though

Re: Disappointed

I knew when mine was. I work on the weekends, so they had to tell me so I could take off. So they told me the date, but they werent going to tell me the place, so my fh could drive me there and at least that would be a surprise. Well, someone had the invite hanging on their fridge and I saw the place too. Then my bridal party wasnt getting along, so I ended up finding out even more stuff through them when they were complaining to me. And I was a registry peeker so I knew most of my gifts.

So the moral of my story is, even though I knew EVERYTHING about my shower, I still had a wonderful time and a memorable day and I wish the same to you.

Re: Disappointed

How about the DAY of my shower, my Mother needed a ride because my bridemaid didn't know how to get to her house. I had to pick up my own mother to take her to my shower that I DID not want to know about. Oh well...I had a nice time anyway.

Re: Disappointed

Debbus -
Good luck with it! And I agree with everyone else - no matter what, it's still going to be a wonderful and overwhelming experience for you - it's YOUR day! Get ready to celebrate!!!!!!!