Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

We all go through it -

One thing that has helped us is having actual 'meetings' that we schedule with each other - like once every two weeks - where we sit down and talk about real things - from apartment issues to wedding things . . . real conversations without the tv blaring, phone calls interrupting or anything. It's really helped us get on the same page. Especially lately with all the spending we've been doing for the wedding. Money stress is the worst. But we're trying to address the issues before they become anything to worry about!

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

me and fh get in these funks too when work gets crazy for him, and we dont live together so its harder, are thing is that everything becomes monotonous, like the sme conversations everyday 'hows work? did you sleep well?' yadda yadda yadda.... so every now and then we spend the day inside doing nothing just hanging out and watching movies, going for dinner at night and just trying to forget about all the stresses and everything... i have to remind him every now and then to chillout and that i would like to see my fiance lol

maybejust shake things up a bit.. let him know that youre feeling like everything is so tense with all the wedding stuff and see when he has a chance to just hang out, watch a movie, play a boardgame, look through pictures, go to dinner ANYTHING

im sure everything will be fine, wedding plans get really stressful

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

I'm sorry.

You can vent here - we all understand!!

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

its a very stressful time for us all

i am going through that right now. there is so much running around to do and we have been bickering over even little things. FH and i only see each other about once or twice a week because he lives in rockaway and i am in staten island. sunday we have plans to just lay around and watch a movie while snuggling just like old times.. that always helps.

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

yeah i know how you feel. he's about 2 feet away from me and i feel like he's not even there. could be the ps3 controller in his hand... could be the severe financial stress we're experiencing... could be anything. hang in there... this too will pass.

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

its ok to cry hunnie!!! sometimes they dont realize how upset something gets you, just tell him straight out and if you cry then thats fine, its how you feel, maybe he just doesnt realize how much this is upsetting you

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

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Posted by Clover23

yeah i know how you feel. he's about 2 feet away from me and i feel like he's not even there. could be the ps3 controller in his hand... could be the severe financial stress we're experiencing... could be anything. hang in there... this too will pass.

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omg you are describing me exactly right now. he is right on the other end of the couch, and its either the ps3 remote, or his iphone, or DSI, or the dog, anything but me ya know?

Joanna- you are so sweet, thank you :) The board is keeping me sane tonight. I adore my girlfriends and if they were here they would be keeping me sane too, so this is like an extension of that- a whole bunch of girlfriends to keep me going any time day or night. Thanks so much

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

yup... i'm right here with you. lots of hugs cuz i know i need them too.

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

I totally understand how you feel and I am going through a similar feeling too but its much worse for me..Part of me is beginning to doubt whether I even WANT to marry my FH..I know I love him and he loves me..and we really click on many levels...but there are times when I come home and he's only interested in 'his' hobbies (for your guys it is video games and phones, for my guy its his eBay addiction, radio repair hobby and internet news addiction). He is happy spending his entire day just surfing the internet and watching political news channels.

I think I'm in a funk too sometimes..who knows...its Friday night..I am just thinking about whether in 5 or 10 years I am going to look back on these feelings and ask myself 'why didn't I act sooner knowing then that I may know now?'...Sometimes I hear my mom lamenting 'well some men like X, some men like Y, but are you really sure you can be happy spending your life with a man who is very set in his ways and will always have other priorities to cater to for himself than to do what you prefer?'..

Then sometimes I think to myself- FH is a really great guy and no relationship is EVER perfect so I should just learn how to compromise.....

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

i know that feeling girlie i kinda hope he notices like NOW so you two can talk about it rather than going to bed a mess and waking up wit swollen eyes

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

sounds like my life ever since he got a new video game lol

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

I'm sorry.

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

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Posted by MerSaysEh

yeah...i havent yet had those thoughts but i also think those are normal and every bride to be goes through them. its also worthwhile to think about premarital counseling if you feel its gotten to that point...it can be really helpful from what i've heard!

this is my first funk in a whiiiile but now i;m sitting here typing on one end of the couch literally with tears streaming and he hasnt even noticed....

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Try to talk to him, but dont do it when you're fighting. Take a moment when you're not arguing, and you're both not busy, and have a discussion. Tell him how you're feeling. Don't blame him (he probably doesn't realize he's hurting you)

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

You are not alone. Once the wedding plans were set, the financial reality set in and we realized we had to keep a budget, FH started to take on more jobs. He works like 4 jobs, comes home late and I know he needs to destress...so we chill and watch tv...go to bed like 1am and barely get quality time. We live together and sometimes I feel like I don't know him anymore. He can function on 5 hrs sleep, I just can't. i work late a lot too, so tempers are high, b/c sleep is lacking and work is stressful. Its rough. However, I found this site b/c of it and realize many of us go through this. It helps to have the support. Joanna is right... you have to shake it up a bit and maybe only discuss 'serious' or 'stressful' issues on certain days or at scheduled times. Try to make a 'date' night and do something different. We decided to do this, and on that date, we don't discuss the stressors of the wedding planning. We keep it light and fun.

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

I dont know what it is w/getting engaged, but it always brings out the worst initially. when we just got engaged our relationship actually got worst. we were fighting every day, and our worst fight ever was about 2 weeks after getting engaged.
I really do think that we dont even realize how major it to get engaged. we love someone and know he is the right person, so we get engaged but we dont even know that once ur engaged everything becomes very very serious on a much deeper level.

I too felt as if I really dont know this person, and is my life will always be about what he wants and likes to do. every argument, tiff and fight would echo in my head 'is this how my life gonna be like from now on????'

but it does get better, u do have to talk to him, but def choose a good time. we were fighting like crazy in the summer and I chose to talk to him when we were hanging out on a beach. it destressed the very stressful conversation. we really talked about our issues.
so this does get better. much better.



btw, try cooking together. the most fun me and FH have is when we're cooking. we talk about EVERYTHING! we have a drink while cooking and then start laughing. just a very fun pass time.

FM me. I really went thru the same thing

Re: Do you ever feel soo distant from FH? (vent...kinda long...)

Totally understand what you are going through. After 5yrs of being together we have gone through our ups and down. Crying actually doesn't get my FH's attention either it actually pisses him off. Our New Years resolution was actually to be nicer to eachother and to stop picking on eachother as much. And to stop yelling and ignoring eachother. You just have to talk to eachother.